Mushrooms + MDMA + 25c-NBOMe

(This one has been published by Erowid!!!!)

CW: existential dread, death, stroke

Age:18

Weight-135 lbs
Dosage: 200 mg MDMA oral in gel cap, 3.5 g Mushrooms oral, 1000 ug 25c-NBOMe sublingual

Setting: Around Philadelphia

T0:00-Took 200 mg MDMA in capsule, proceed to walk towards the safe place I intend to trip

T0:30-Reach my destination and do some stuff first. Then consume the mushrooms with lemon iced tea

T045-Smoke a bowl. Starting to feel a bit light, kinda high. Colors look brighter, the cold starts to go away. Put tab of 25c-NBOMe in my mouth.

T1:00-Wowwww. I can feel all the chemicals rising within me like a bubble. It feels like a grand crescendo as a numbness and lightness starts to rise through my body and pulse through my veins. Colors look brighter and everything is just more colorful and starting to breathe and shimmer and warp and move. My vision is shaking back and forth as this chemical cocktail approaches climax. I feel like I'm covered in fur; my clothes feel as if they are part of me, staving off the cold November day. Time seems to speed up as I pace back and forth around my trip location, getting giddier and more energetic by the second.

T1:10-BLASTOFF-I decide I'm lucid enough to leave. I refuse to spend a moment like this in one place, I need to SEE the world. I am bursting with energy and excitement and warmth. I leave into a park where the grass is glowing a bright green, shimmering with waves. The sun beams down on me, filling my body with the warmth of its beams of light. I feel INCREDIBLE. The world is hugging me and the air is swirling around me, taking my substance and pulling it off of me, meshing it with pure euphoria.

T1:20-I cross the street to the river. The surface is shimmering and swirling like a painting. The air is clean and glowing and flows through me. Each breath I take feels amazing, it just feels so good to be ALIVE! The sounds of the city around me echo and trail off and bounce off of each other. My heart is beating like crazy but it doesn't feel ill or wrong or anything, its just pumping more euphoric blood through me. I walk along the river along the jogging path and take in my surroundings-the great glowing colorful sky with its 3 dimensional clouds that dance and shift above me while pulsing off colors- the trees, mirroring themselves and emitting rainbows and swirling into the sky above me, the people who walk by, their faces off-color caricatures. I put in headphones and listen to music.

T1:30-So much great feeling. Too much great feeling. The music starts to reach its climax as I climb uphill-then I feel it. Part of my body starts to feel numb, it starts to feel like its drooping. The music starts to grow dangerously discordant at this crescendo. I can feel my breathing start to labor. Then it hits me-I'm having a stroke. I went too hard, I flew too close to the sun. The moment all those chemicals hit my brain, I was already dead, and all I had were a few minutes of paradise before I felt the brunt of my actions. I accepted my death as a consequence. I imagined the scene, I would collapse here, in the grass. Someone would pick me up, I would wake up later in the hospital, paralyzed, unable to interact with the world around me-my family would be there, and I would hear the doctors say the word "stroke" "stroookeeeee" the world played out in my head as I imagined all the circuits blowing in my brain and leaking blood everywhere. The whole scene played out before me. This was the end. I took out the headphones, sat down beneath a statue, waited for the inevitable. It never came. My heart rate slowed down a bit, and a few deep breaths later the feeling was gone. I was fine. I was just imagining it. I was only on a lot of drugs. I was so awash with relief, such incredible relief I had never felt before in my life. I decided the music was too much-overstimulating, took my brain in bad directions. I was stimulated enough by the world around me. I continued my journey.

T1:40-I'm calling everyone I know, telling them how beautiful the world is. I am exploding with relief and euphoria-there is so much happiness in the world around me I don't know what to start with. Each blade of grass, each little pebble, each cloud in the sky is exploding with so much happiness by the mere virtue of existing. Every breath I take explodes and reverberates throughout me, filling me with infinite relief and reminding me that I'm alive. Every little movement I make fills me with relief and orgasmic happiness. I am so overstimulated, I don't even know where to begin interacting with each beautiful facet of this beautiful world.

T2:00-Thus begins a strange walk across the city of Philadelphia. I'm around the art museum when I decide to stop calling people and begin to take in the world around me. Every sound echoes and bounces and flits around me and orbits my mind, bleeping and blinking and strumming. Every second seems to repeat itself as I walk-Any thought I have immediately redirects to "IM SO HAPPY TO BE LIVING RIGHT NOW", thus making each moment feel like a clone of the last. My thoughts are going frame by frame, each frame exactly the same except for my surroundings. I seem to be trapped in a thought loop while I walk, but it is only positive thoughts that are looping, so I don't have any issue with it. Each thought and each breath I take spins off into the world and swirls away in a stream of fractals. The world around me is twisting and swirling and breathing, flashing colors and moving and mirroring and dancing around me, pulling my thoughts and interactions away into the grand chaos of it all.

T2:10-3:00-This part is a total blur. Just gone from my memory. Apparently I was walking this whole time and obeying traffic laws because I didn't get hurt. But I was in one part of the city one moment, and then in another part the next. The sun was setting, and I was starting to feel more lucid as I approached the Delaware waterfront. All around me people were working to set something up. Whatever they were shouting to each other sounded like a babbling alien language, but I'm almost entirely sure it was English. I admired the waterfront for a bit before deciding to aimlessly float into old city. This is when things turned ill.

T3:30-It's twilight now. I begin to feel the repercussions of my energetic 3 hours walk that I wasn't feeling before. I feel worn and tired, my legs feel sore, and I start to feel cold. The light drizzle that popped in every now and then throughout the day picks up. It's cold, dark, dirty and wet. I go into a garden and find a bench in a gazebo and lie down. Its then that everything turns grim. What is my future going to be? It's nothing but schoolwork and money problems. And furthermore, I'm really far from home. How the hell am I getting home? I don't have enough energy to walk back. And who do I have to go back to? I feel so cold and lonely, and the future looks so unimaginably bleak, like a big storm cloud on the horizon. The ceiling of the gazebo stretches away into infinity and the plants around me dance and breathe. Everything feels so awful, and in that moment, I wished I could just escape it all, escape the whole life I had, escape my body, escape being trapped within myself. I had no hope.

T4:00-I get up off the bench, still feeling miserable. The next hour is a horrible horrible experience. I wander aimlessly through old city in the cold wet dark, so hopelessly and completely lost with no hope for the future. I'm going back to my cold shitty dorm to take shitty classes and live my shitty life-why was I even trying to go home? Could I make it without collapsing from exhaustion? I hadn't eaten anything that day. All I wanted to do was collapse and melt into the world. I had to stop every few blocks to curl up on a stoop or something and regain my energy, or curl up on the curb, simmering in cold psychedelic induced misery. For this I blame the 25c, which usually makes me feel critical and overanalytical. I begin to question everything I do-why do I do what I do, what the hell's the point of it all? Why do I dress like I do? Why do I do these drugs? Why do I behave how I do? I don't have answers to any of it, and that adds to feeling lost and hopeless.

T5:00-In the darkness, there is light. A cafe called "Good Karma Cafe". Its door is open, it glows on the dark block, it beckons to me. I go inside and take a seat. Its warm and dry inside, the light fills me with its warm glow. Everything is still breathing its colors and flashing lights. I decide in here that the future doesn't matter, it'll work out however it works out, I just need to take some deep breaths and be okay with myself. I examine the saltwater fishtank, and all the beautiful animals inside seem to be so content with their lives. I exist the cafe, and suddenly see a street sign I recognize. I am no longer lost- I wander back to a subway station and take a train home.

T6:00-I go to good friends house and smoke more and relax my tired bones and warm up. It's good to relax. As time winds on I begin to feel the pangs of self criticism and begin to question myself in everything again. Things are still breathing and emitting colors as I curl up and wonder "what the hell do I do, what the hell am I, what the hell have I become, why the hell do I do things?" These pang through my head and make me extremely self conscious of every action I take-once again I attribute this to the 25c. Probably should have left that out of the combo. I later go to dinner with some more friends and I am taciturn and too wary of my actions to do much, but as the drugs wear down I grow more open and can interact better.

In general, the MDMA is incredible with any psychedelic I would assume-the swirling unwinding and exploding thoughts combined with the euphoria from the MDMA is such a beautiful synergy. I wish I hadn't taken the 25c however, because I feel like it put me in a very negative mindset.