antlion

Monday, December 14, 2015

4-AcO-MET + Allylescaline

(This one has been published by Erowid!!!!)

CW: Suicide, depression
Age:20
Weight-120 lbs
Dose: ~30 mg 4-AcO-MET oral in gel cap, 50 mg Allylescaline oral in gel cap
Setting: Secret place along the river, around Philly, my apartment

Set: Was planning this trip all week. Scrambled frantically to make sure it was timed right and it would work out. Was relieved that I was actually gonna make it work.
Setting: The secret place by the freight tracks under a bridge in North Philly where I go to trip by myself

T0:00-Capsules taken simultaneously

T0:20-First notes of effects. Arrive at destination only to find a dude sleeping there. Decide it would be best not to disturb him and to walk further up the tracks and find somewhere new.

T0:25-Find an underpass further up the tracks and take shelter there after looking out for suspicious persons. I have very quickly went from a relatively urban setting to total desolation, no buildings are in sight, only the withering trees and lonely industrial rail space. I sit down and smoke a bowl, the effects are coming on ever so slightly still. After I smoke I spot a rocky outcrop across the tracks, next to the underpass. I climb up. The underpass consists of a viaduct with three arches, the central opening for the freight tracks, the other two just being dark and resembling tunnels. One of these tunnels is next to the outcrop. Perhaps my senses are already compromised, as it looks like there is another person sleeping in the neighboring tunnel.

T0:30-I listen to music and draw pictures. It is the familiar feeling of 4-AcO-MET, where everything I draw feels beautiful and profound. I love art or creations where everything seems perfectly functional and well placed, and everything I draw feels like that, each line being deliberate and serving its own exact purpose. Of course this is total delusion, in retrospect the drawing is sloppy and scatterbrained. Visuals aren’t picking up too much, I definitely feel very light and spacey. Very little bodyload to speak of except for sweatiness and a slight restlessness and nausea. I smoke a little more. I realize this is the place I would come to die, it is beautiful, lonely and serene. When the day comes I would lie my neck down on the tracks and wait. This is the final place, this is my final place. I don’t feel sad or disturbed thinking about that, rather a bit giddy that I have found a place I can claim as my own special place, in life and in death. The setting sun strikes the haggard bushes with a light that I would love to have one day mourn me.

T0:50-It is getting pretty dark. I decide this probably isn’t the best place to be alone in the dark, and also I can’t see what I’m drawing anymore. I decide it’s time to get up. I begin walking back, the visuals and body feels are picking up ever so slightly, though I am somewhat coherent. It is lacking the jarring perception shifts and zoned visuals from when I did 4-AcO-MET alone, and the visuals now seem to be spiraling and checkered patterns arising from the foliage, sky, and ground. I walk by the sleeping dude again, this time we wakes up when I approach, I let him know I mean no harm. I go into a nearby park and meditate to what’s left of the sunlight. I don’t think I’m tripping that hard. But then I close my eyes. The state I entered was whimsical and goofy. The various sounds around me reverberate and repeat reaching a higher and higher pitch, as if the whole universe is exploding into a big cosmic giggle. It feels corny and ridiculous honestly. The visuals are 3-dimensional geometric shapes, with intricate polka-dot, checkerboard, or concentric patterns. They all feel like cosmic jesters, they are personified forms with bright personalities to match their bright colors. They are all floating in a patterned space and are strangely lit, as if they have a spotlight on them or have light shining from within them. They are self-transforming, morphing into one another and interacting and splitting and infinitely nesting within themselves. They seem to move in reaction to the various auditory alterations. I feel my body sequentially vibrate/buzz and go numb, starting at my extremities and working to my core, until I am nothing but this absurd geometric space. If I open my eyes I snap back to normal and regain feeling, but if I close my eyes the process starts again. Wow. I’m tripping really hard.

T1:10-I decide to continue my journey and manage to get up. I am definitely peaking now. I have to cross an extremely busy and fast road with no crosswalk and traffic in both directions. I end up waiting 15 minutes before there is an opening. The whole time I stand there I feel myself sinking into existence, the headlights of the cars casting rainbow checker patterns on everything. After I cross I begin to walk across the city.

T1:30-As I’m walking I begin to be struck with delusions of grandeur. I feel like I can do anything, that I am going to do anything. I feel warm and confident and super empathetic, similar to my last time doing 4-AcO-MET. It feels so nice, but also feels very fake and chemically induced, like some switch was flipped to induce this sense of purpose and competence that just isn’t normally there, and based on the rest of my existence, there is no purpose or competence in me at all. It’s fake but feels so good, this really really feels like getting high on a drug more than a profound trip. I sit down to take a break and sink back into the CEV world, it has gone unchanged. Now even with my eyes open the visuals are decently vivid, not so much in the form of alterations but rather existing heavily as patterns covering every surface. I feel so giddy and social, I want to hang out with people when I get home, I want to exhibit myself, show myself off, feel cool and validated. I hit up a bunch of friends and invite them over for later.

T2:20-I’ve walked across the city now and am almost at the subway station. Still definitely peaking. Waiting for the subway is wild as it always is when I’m peaking. I feel like I’ve managed to deconstruct that sense of confidence and the delusions of grandeur to allow myself to be more grounded and less disturbed by the sheer power of delusion this substance imbues me with. The visuals are wild and entertaining, though not impairing by any means.

T2:45-I arrive home, spacey and floaty. I am experiencing a degree of urinary retention, similar to the last time I did allylescaline. I smoke some more and am kicked back up into strong territory. I am absolutely fascinated by everything in my house and that I read online, everything is distracting and whimsical. I decide to listen to horrendous noise music really loudly. It sounds so perfect, like when I’m on dissociatives. This time actually, it sounds even better, my state distorts the noise into some unique psychedelic whirlwind of sounds, the edge of the abrasive noises taken off by cascades of resonanace and reverberation. I lie in bed with my eyes closed for a while listening to stuff.

T4:00-One of my friends comes over. I am still pretty spacey and feeling very stimulated and amped up while simultaneously just burnt the fuck out. We hang out and play videogames. More people come over and the night just turns into an impromptu party. I am not feeling the same way I was before with respect to being social, it no longer feels like an opportunity to brag about myself and be validated by other people’s warmth and love. Rather I just feel nice, high, euphoric, and it’s nice to be around friends.

T6:00-Back to baseline.

Conclusion: I heard somewhere that mixing 4-AcO-tryptamines with allylescaline had a unique synergy. Honestly the allylescaline component wasn’t too noticeable and it just felt like a lower dose than my last foray with 4-AcO-MET was (which it pretty literally was). All the allyelscaline added perhaps was some change in the visuals and auditory nature (the high pitched noises I have noticed from phenethylamines, while tryptamines tend to be deeper and voluminous), and some bodyload. Nothing too noteworthy, just a nice and very basic trip overall.




No comments:

Post a Comment