Clonazepam + Etizolam + DPH

Age: 21

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage: 1.5 mg Clonazepam sunlingual, ~2 mg etizolam sublingual, 150 mg DPH oral

Setting: My apartment

T0:00- Dose 1.5 1 mg clonazepam tablets sublingually.

T0:40- The comeup of benzos is always so subtle, it’s hard to say when the effects start to come in. It’s like falling asleep. I am not sure if I feel anything yet, but I take a hit from the gravity bong.

T1:00- Definitely feeling something now. My motor skills have been reduced to me feeling very wobbly, I am walking like I'm drunk but my head feels empty and cloudy, instead of the sort of heaviness that alcohol produces. It's as though I am losing coordination because my limbs are simply too light to control properly. I am dancing and swinging my limbs asunder, it feels good just to move and shake and thrash around with my uninhibited body. I find myself clinging to objects while walking around to maintain my balance. Air is blowing through my mind. Socially, I am still very capable, able to converse with my friends coherently and cogently. It feels as though I am flashing in and out of existence, similar to a dissociative.

T1:15- Now that the clonazepam has made its presence known, I decide to kick things up a notch. I lick the tip of a honey locust thorn and dip it in my bag of powdered etizolam, rubbing the powder off under my tongue. Shame is an illusion I decide, and thus I stack 150 mg DPH on top of my cocktail. The Benadryl are popped like candy. Once my mission is complete, I feel eager, alert, and ready to take on whatever may come. Perhaps a bit too eager…

T2:00- Smoke a joint. I am feeling more sedated now and can see visuals in dark spaces at the edges of my vision. They are like writhing rainbow tendrils arranging themselves in esoteric patterns, faint and swirling, nothing much to note yet. They are more prominent in dark spaces.

T2:30- I feel very dazed and couchlocked. My breathing feels shallower, but I am apparently still coherent. I do feel my short term memory faltering.

T3:30- Short term memory is stunted even more. My thoughts begin to become disjointed, as they are in dreams, as it seems I cannot maintain the same chain of thought for too long. I begin to experience tactile hallucinations, feelings of little hands tapping at me or tugging at me, holding me in place. Moving is difficult and my limbs feel like they are made of lead. Nevertheless, when I do manage to move, I am filled with this odd warmth and sense of well-being. In fact, I am quite awash in an overall sense of euphoria, dripping down my body like I am sitting under a warm shower.

T4:30- I go to the convenience store with my friend. My memory of the night is very foggy by this point, and it seems my short term memory was pretty badly impaired too, as I had taken roughly the same notes every 20 minutes, most of which are being omitted from this report. I remember finding other people very odd, and interacting with the cashier was quite awkward, as it felt like my mouth was glued shut. At this point, I feel like I am losing my coherency and my ability to hold conversation. The words are ethereal and elusive and flutter around my head, just out of reach. I forget what I’m talking about mid-sentence. I feel like I am half asleep. I find myself getting distracted a lot.

T5:30- I don’t recall much of the past hour but I am in my room now. I feel a bit of bodily discomfort now, like restless legs and itchiness and tension in my muscles. It feels like a light breeze is blowing against me at all times. Figures would appear at the corner of my vision, but they were content to merely stand back and observe me. I couldn’t get a good idea of what any of them looked like. The only closed eyed visuals I remember are a very vivid image of big blue chains twisting around. I am hearing faint voices around me, but the words they speak are indistinct. My mind keeps wandering off into tangents, which then proceed to collapse and disintegrate. I am in a perpetual limbo of pursuing elusive thoughts as the threads of my mind fade behind me. It’s very hard to keep track of anything or do anything, even just mindlessly browsing the internet becomes an exceedingly difficult task and I soon find myself with several tabs open to several pages, with no idea why I opened any of them or had interest in any of them. At some point I apparently shower, but I do not recall this at all.

T6:30- The hypnotic effects are strong. Every time I close my eyes I drift off into a lucid dream, where I vividly hallucinate a place where I am not. On one occasion I am suddenly in class, in my pajamas, confused and lost. On another I am back in my parent’s house in the suburbs. These visions are realistic, and feature a whole mannequin cast of faceless characters. I do not recall all the places I visited, how long I stayed, or what I did. I am not sure if I am simply falling asleep into a lucid dream or whether I am actually just having a vivid hallucination. I still find myself able to wilfully dip in and out of this realm simply by opening and closing my eyes. I did not feel very sleepy though, just physically exhausted. My mind feels stunted and my train of thought is constantly and aggressively derailing. At some point I tuck myself in and go to sleep, although I do not remember doing this.