PCiPr

Age: 29

Weight: 140 lbs

Dosage: 35 mg intransal

Setting: At home. It is a grey rainy November day. I feel no particular compulsion to leave the house for the rest of the day.

 

 

[Note: Because I have built up a tolerance to dissociatives, this is a higher dose than most should take. To a beginner I would suggest a dose of around 15-20 mg.]

 

PCiPr is the basic scaffold of the PCiPr family, an arylcyclohexylamine with an Isopropyl substitution on the amine. I have only tried 2 other unsubstituted aryclcyclohexylamines that I can compare this to- PCP and PCPy, both of which are light and stimulating. Both of those however, are tertiary ring amines, not the secondary alkane of PCiPr- in this regard perhaps the closest comparison to it would be PCE, which I have sadly not tried yet. A commonality across all of these compounds seems to be high potency and a general stimulating, manic character.

PCiPr is bizarre. It is all-encompassing, it feels like it presents everything that dissociatives can offer in a single experience, to varying degrees at varying times. It is a dynamic experience that comes in waves and constantly changes character. It is challenging to contend with. It is a mess of contradictions- sometimes there is a deep sinking hole, sometimes there are flashes of mania, sometimes I am in a mindless daze, sometimes I am focused, alert, and curious. It feels as though the contradictions pulse and amplify and at times cancel each other out, leaving me feeling completely functional and in control of myself physically. Like the other unsubstituted compounds, it is stimulating and active.

 Like the other unsubstituted compounds, it is quite potent. A threshold can be found at 5 mg. There doesn’t seem to be much reward with pushing the dose higher. The effects at 15 mg feel more or less similar to the effects at 30 mg. I pushed it up to 40 mg even and didn’t find it that much more intense. I took a large dose for this report to guarantee that I could characterize this drug at its full strength, though I probably would’ve had a similar experience at 20 mg, it just would not have lasted as long. On the duration, it is notably quite long lasting with typically a very long onset- the experience I had for the sake of this report was actually a deviation in terms of the timespan, as the onset was within 15 minutes, though similar to my other experiences, the full peak of it had not quite set in until over an hour after dosing. In general I found the onset to be at around 30 minutes, with the peak coming in after 1-2 hours. It has quite a substantial duration, with overall duration at 18-30 hours depending on the dose; in many cases I would go to sleep and find myself still feeling dissociated the next day, especially if I had redosed at some point.

The peak is really a mess, as I’ve heard from others too- stupefying and disorienting and without a discernible striking character, but the later waves of the experience seem to carry more brightness and insight. I am not sure about the utility of this drug, nor do I find it especially recreational, though it is definitely interesting and it is a nice slow burn for a long night. I would love to compare this to PCPr and PCE one day.

 

T0:00- Dose snorted. Odor reminiscent of ether. There is a bit of a sting, and it sets in more over time, burning the most at 5 minutes.

 

T0:15- Maybe a bit of an onset as lightheadedness.

 

T0:20- The onset is certain now. I am feeling very spacey and dizzy. I am still not feeling it much in the rest of my body.

 

T0:40- I was working on a sketch while I came up, but this has probably crossed the point where my motor skills can no longer effectively place the lines on the paper that I intend. My fingertips begin to feel numb, my extremities begin to feel floppy with less and less control of my momentum. Very slight visuals begin to appear on blank surfaces, pulsing grid-like forms of spots and lines between them, flashing and pulsing slightly with no distinct color. The top of my head feels like it’s buzzing and evaporating off of me. My fingers at once feel floppy but tense.

 

T0:45- My head feels detached from me. My proprioception has gone awry as each of my limbs feel as though they are on their own. The locus of this sensation is in the head, where all the dissociative energy seems to drain. My entire skull is heavy and numb. Despite this, with concentration, I can still move about normally, though clumsily.

 

T0:50- Suddenly there is such a rush; this drug is typically subtle, it creeps up on me over a matter of hours. One moment I’m wondering if I took enough of a dose, but then gradually, I discover I am very far off base. It is an empty and blank dissociation. I am not quite sure what to do with it. I have no compulsion to engage with any activity, all I can do is just sit there and let the drug wash over me as a grand deluge. The visuals are light in color, regular patterns and arrays of round forms. Reminiscent of flowing texture of chain mail. Interestingly there is no strong manic drive. It is stimulating and functional but there isn’t that fire of self confidence and self-assuredness to cut like a knife through the experience.

 

T1:00- The peak of the experience has set in, disorienting and dizzying, it feels hot and raw and high energy, but also quite understated and in odd ways, there’s a crispness to my surroundings and my perceptions of those surroundings that seems out of sync with the toothy haze vibrating in my head. I feel very grounded in the world, the real world, adorned little with visuals as subtle creeps of textures along distinct lines and contrasts like trails of ants. I feel my body and its entirety, its pieces jumbled and out of place, I am acutely aware of every stray piece of it, cognitively at least, despite my physical numbness. All of these bizarre contradictions lock me in place, leave me stultified without a clear sense of what I want to do or where I want to be or really, overall, what I want in general, in the grand scheme of things, in this moment or any moment. The answer to “what do I want”, is a slack-jawed homunculus, the only response I could muster to that question would be “let me get back to you…” I’m not stifled for lack of stimulation, there is plenty, maybe even an undercurrent of mania, but it is directionless, hazy and braided. Fire with no motivation for why it burns. An ember that forgot the fire that birthed it. Anything I happen upon on my screens is interesting enough, I can take in information and have the curiosity to pursue it. Reading things is fun right now, clicking through Wikipedia hyperlinks is keeping me occupied. I am reading about the Wizard of Oz and also the Muslim Brotherhood. My head is on fire and it is numb. I am dizzy, like my head is inside of a brass jar that is being knocked around, gently.

 

T1:20- It’s a storm of contradicted nondescript character, it’s a riot of dissociation, just pure intense sensations that are hard to really characterize or parse, like being battered by wind. There is clearly something happening to me, but what is it- and is it really that different from how it was before? There are markers for normality here, but something just feels off- I find myself constantly chasing this odd contradiction between sensing that is something subtle and something intense. And in that confusion I lose sight of how far from land I really have drifted by this point in the experience. It sneaks up on me like that. It’s like I blink and suddenly realize that yes, actually, this is very maximal. I really am quite deep in it. Dissociation in every way imaginable, coming in from all sides, in every sense it could be described, all consuming, all manifesting, a chimera of limbs blurred in static, tails cast in patterns of vitreous squares, fangs of glowing light, numbing, smothering wings, a pulsing, rippling, buzzing roar, a cacophony of pipe organs collapsing on top of me, stretched, twisted, dazed, manic, heaving, heart racing, glassy-eyed and fully not a part of myself. And oddly, quite dull and grey, or at least a drab olive or mauve. To put in less flowery terms, I feel like I am getting a sense of all the different ways dissociatives can manifest. There is a heavy anesthetizing numbness. There are trickles of stimulation and mania. I am in a daze, my head is spinning; There’s that cracked focus at points, and at other points just an empty haze, there’s motivation and stillness, it’s all the myriad contradictions of the dissociative world manifest as one, coming in waves and pulses. And in the throes of this, I genuinely, truly, do not know what to do. I can sink if I want, though I doubt I could truly hole on this with so much else going on. I can just as easily get up and navigate about my house with no problem, maybe a bit stumbly.

 

T2:00- I am contending with this state like an animal pacing my cage. Previous times I have taken this, I had a task at hand, and the drug would wear disorientingly through that task. I am just flopping around my house today doing fuck all, fully unemployed and directionless. The world is my oyster, and I am a very lost and confused parasite within that oyster. Everything feels heavy. Everything also feels light. Everything feels urgent. Everything feels hot. I have not taken my temperature but I suspect this drug induces a bit of hyperthermia. I lie back and close my eyes and listen to music, the overdriven breakcore of Femtanyl. It feels suitably frenetic for this state. Visuals in the dark are hard to parse, they have a short lifespan and change character frequently, drifting, blurring, glitching grids and abrupt shifts in character. While it may seem synesthetic they were like this without the music too. It is electric in the dark, I feel like I am being cooked in various ways, sizzled, roasted, melted, all sorts of warm, high-energy shifts between my perception of my own form and matter. I am drooling on myself. That normally doesn’t happen when I try to hole. I smoke a bit of cannabis. This actually does not seem to affect the experience much. Maybe just adds a couple more teeth into the waveforms of all that is going on.

 

T3:00- The intensity has not shifted at all. I have just been bouncing between tasks for the last hour. I tried playing videogames for a bit but I did not find them satisfying. I am distractible. I am listening to music and reading about things on the internet. It’s still flowing, it’s all still flowing. It’s a pleasant daze. It feels like the fabric of reality is raining down on me. I can pull the downpours around me like a blanket.

 

T4:00- I still feel the same overall. There is a fairly clearheaded lucidity throughout all of this that makes it all the more confusing in contrast with all of the other symptoms. What a peculiar compound. I decide to do a number of chores; I would feel guilty if my spouse was out working all day and came home to me lounging around on drugs without tending to the house! And just like that, amid all the chimeras and the maelstroms of confusion and a million different dissociations I stand up and go about my business. It really is an odd drug like this. I go about cleaning the kitchen and washing the dishes, just going about it normally and matter-of-factly, not even in the heightened frenetic way I go about my chores when I normally take manic dissociatives to make them easier. They are not any more unpleasant than they are sober, there is no gamified drive to burn through them, I just do it. Very oddly neutral. This feels like an experience of a vast field of different pulsing waves with their own frequencies, some matched up, some not, and in that chaos, some amplify and others destructively interfere- it’s like averaging out to a state of functionality from all the extremities of the dissociative inputs. I flit around the house, tidying and picking up, with just enough coordination to not make a further mess of things. There’s a bit of a spring in my step. I don’t find myself really thinking about much at all while doing this.

 

T5:00- I take a nice hot shower. This creates an incredible sensory space, particularly auditorily, with the sound of the droplets of water reverberating and echoing and flanging on and on into a metallic eternity. I come out and feel invigorated. I am beginning to feel a bit of fatigue and strain at still sustaining this degree of dissociation for this long, there is a certain hollowness to the experience now that maybe signals it starting to trickle out. I am now caught deep into reading about the life and times of the legendary environmentalist and anarchist Edward Abbey, of knowing that he was of a world I would never experience. I wonder how he would feel about the wilderness and solitude he so espoused becoming so small in the world of global wireless information. My heart ached for the endless bounds of a world I could never experience. I ached for the absolute freedom of solitude, then wondered if my place was solitude, or what could solitude even mean in the world now; Did I truly seek solitude or some histrionic and impertinent avoidance of others, free flow of thoughts and introspection, pleasant and perhaps useful in the right context.

 

T6:00- For the last hour it has felt like the experience was lightening up and receding. But without warning, it again swells. my body is just a floppy rubber sheet at the mercy of the surface of a rolling ocean. I am dizzy and suddenly have a more difficult time making sense of what I am reading.

My spouse comes home, I can converse with them normally but I am outwardly noticeably on dissociatives still.

 

T8:00- It recedes again; I eat a dinner of leftovers. Over these long hours there doesn’t seem to be much effect on my appetite. There will be moments when the drug suddenly peaks in intensity again, where I will feel a wash of dissociating numbness and it will again feel like I am just 2 hours into the experience. This will then inexplicably pass. There was no discernible regularity or pattern to it.

 

T9:00- Just watching TV with my spouse and playing Total War: Warhammer III. It’s a fun cozy time. The experience mostly just lingers as a warm buzzing daze, waves of intensity still occasionally roll through.

 

T12:00- I am mostly down to baseline but there is still a lingering lightheadedness and dizziness. Stimulation and a slight mania provide a steady baseline. The waves aren’t really coming anymore.

 

T14:00- I feel the same as before. I go to sleep now with my normal medications and not much issue. I still felt a little stimulated, but not something that my 50 mg of Trazodone couldn’t cut through.

 

The next day:

 

T22:00- I still feel it a bit, there is still a bit of loss of equilibrium and I still feel a little dizzy and numb. This lingers for a while. I feel hypomanic when I wake up.

 

T28:00- I would say I am completely back to baseline now.

 

Conclusion: It was challenging to write this report, this is such a difficult drug to describe. I know a colleague of mine stalled on writing their report on this compound for quite some time. It is really bizarre and full of so many little quirks that I teased out from a number of tests. I consumed this compound a lot, even binged it at times, trying to crack its secrets and figure out the lingering questions it left me with. This report came about from a final conclusion of examining all of its angles. It is an everything dissociative, it offers dissociation in so many different ways, it is extremely disorienting and it lasts forever, it sneaks up on me and pangs viciously between subtle and functional and intensely confusing and maximalized. It can be fun combined with an experience and motivation; its dynamics can shift throughout an experience, offering all sorts of different ways to engage with it. I am not sure if I could recommend it as being particularly suitable for anything though, it is simply too disorienting and challenging. It can take the user to many places, even ones they may not want to venture into. It is certainly unique.