antlion

Sunday, October 23, 2016

LSD + 4-HO-MiPT + 2C-B

(This one has been published by Erowid!!!!)

Age: 21
Weight: 125 lbs
Dosage: ~200 ug LSD sublingual, 25 mg 4-HO-MiPT oral in gel cap, 33 mg 2C-B oral in gel cap
Setting: My apartment

T0:00-I dose everything all together after a shower.

T0:20-I feel so chilly and shaky. Putting on layers does not make me comfortable, this is a cold that shudders out from my bones, it’s the temperature dropping before a shivering rainstorm. I am shuddering and shaking and it feels like my bones are rattling in my flesh.

T0:45-I am so nauseous, I just feel poisoned now, the bitterness of these powders that are in my stomach have seeped into every corner of my consciousness, it’s a bitterness that infests all my senses and leaves my mind feeling like dry rot. I was not expecting to feel this bad, perhaps my nutrition has been poor lately. I am shaking uncontrollably and all I can really do is lie on my bed and hope this will all pass. Any movement exacerbates the discomfort. My jaw is clenching into knots and ice cold electricity shoots through my muscles. Insofar, other effects are hardly noticeable. Slight visual distortion pulses the walls. Faint colored patterns begin to swirl but I pay them no heed. My mental state is entirely and passionately focused on the condition of my body right now.

T1:20-I feel like I have broken over the edge. I’ve had it in my mind this whole time, this will be fun, this will be a blast, all I need to do is make it over this hellish twitchy disquieting hump. At last, it feels like I have splashed facefirst into a pool while on fire, the relief is tangible and the world swirls around me as the discomfort dissipates. I am on three different psychedelics, but I honestly cannot tell that there are different substances coursing through my veins. It’s not like one drug is overpowering the others, but that they have all coalesced into one entirely unique experience, a singular drug rather than a combination of them. They have matched each other in power perfectly and synchronized into a dazzling experience of its own. The visuals do not remind me of any of the substance, they are frenetic and rippling with raw energy, incredibly intricate and jagged, twitching like green mechanical worms over every surface. My vision is dominated by a grand patterned starburst, the root of some psychedelic plant with intricate foliated visuals branching out from it. Closing my eyes drags me into a world of my body vibrating away into toothed waves, the waves spilling out into the space around me and swirling and twisting and tangling into infinite chaos and absurdity. Music is absolutely fantastic, every detail of the sound makes itself apparent to me and lays out before me for my aesthetic appreciation. I was enjoying lying around listening to music so much that I stopped taking notes or recording timestamps.
I notice mostly that I am not tripping as hard as I would’ve liked. My goal in this instance was to give myself a powerful trip on my three favorite substances from the three main families of psychedelic. I had made the observation that by some force of the cosmos, I always have the most intense trips when I don’t intend to, or when tripping that hard is inconvenient. Those trips are always inevitably quite stressful as they seriously inhibit whatever else I intended to do during that experience. I figured I would give myself some free time and try to plunge into the depths while actually prepared for it, but to no avail. Perhaps It was all just warped perceptions, that I perceive myself as tripping harder when I expect different and vice versa. That I’m objectively tripping just the same as my “hard” experiences, but it lacks the element of being overwhelming or out of my control.

T2:00-I begin to wonder how I can make this experience productive, as I realize that without sinking into the depths I feel like I am just wasting my time. I wonder how I can channel this psychedelic energy into some other activity. I smoke a bowl of cannabis to boost me a little bit and then decide to try and dissect why I have been such a poor student as of late. The hyperanalytical aspect of 4-HO-MiPT rears its head from the maelstrom and I find myself researching the definition of laziness. I soon realize that attempting to read or learn while in this state is just incredibly difficult. When I look at words, I realize that I can only read the single word I am focusing on, all the other words surrounding that one appear as incomprehensible illegible glyphs of some language I do not know. It’s difficult for me to glean any meaning from sentences as I must process them one word at a time, and then go back and cross reference each word with each other to see what they all mean in combination. I am reading the Wikipedia article on laziness at a rate of about 1 sentence per 2 minutes, and even then I have to piece together the meaning of the sentences. After quite some time I finally manage to piece together what laziness means, and how it is perceived. It’s from here that I can deconstruct the concept, apply it to my life, bring my lazy ass to amount to something and do well in school. Except I don’t, I just can’t for the life of me figure out why I am so lazy. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to solve it. This combination lends itself to powerful and clear introspection that cuts through my thoughts like a crystal knife, but this is one mystery that it cannot crack.

T3:00-I end up just reading a bunch of junk on Wikipedia for the next few hours. To alleviate my guilt I attempt homework. It falls through entirely, I completely fail at the task and cannot comprehend calculus at all. I end up feeling really stressed for about an hour, stressed about my inadequacies, stressed about my laziness, stressed about what my life is destined for with all these deep character flaws. The psychedelic torrent is merciful for not letting this swirl out of control into a deep depressive episode. Rather, I am able to rationally and clear headedly approach these issues and address them in such a way that I can merely dismiss them. Not a solution, but it kept my mind safe. I am occasionally able to at least sink back and greet the storm of visuals with a smile, sink into the pleasant sensory effects and the euphoric jolts on my brain, let the trip take me into its gentle hands and rock me back and forth and reassure me that no time is wasted, that every moment that I am experiencing the world of my own accord is a moment well spent.

T5:00-I go downstairs and hang out with my roommate and smoke more and play videogames. This is something we do together fairly often, although this particular experience sticks out in my memory. Each game we played, everything I witness, seems to be better etched into my memory than previously. It’s like the memories are a detailed relief, each feature of it carved with incredible depth and noticeable contrast, as opposed to the usual flat blur they occupy in my mind. Conversation and socialization are a bit awkward, although the hyper-analytical aspect of the experience makes for an interesting evening doing something that is usually pretty routine. This continued for the next few hours. Nothing else to note really.


T12:00-Go to sleep.

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