antlion

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

2C-B + 3-MeO-PCE

Age: 21
Weight: 120 lbs
Dosage: 25 mg 3-MeO-PCE + 8 mg 2C-B Intranasal
Setting: My apartment

T0:00- Dose both drugs, simply because I wanted to be revelrous for the night. I had just finished a punishing round of exams and wanted to get altered hang out with my roommate. I really did intend to turn up just a little, just enough to still be able to socialize, but I severely miscalculated it seems. The pain of insufflation is immediate and immense, it's the acerbic, biting, acute harshness of the 2C-B + the long slow burn stinging discomfort of 3-MeO-PCE. Not enjoyable at all. 

T0:05- Coming up hard and fast, much more so than expected. The sting and the drip become too much for me and I have to go purge. After that, I go and smoke a blunt with my roommate in the backyard. 

T0:10- While hanging out in the backyard I begin to realize things may get a bit out of hand. The blunt was definitely not a wise decision in this state. I suddenly notice my heart racing and body being shaken in all sorts of contorted ways. I feel like I am oddly proportioned- a longer than normal arm here, a shorter leg there, a shrunken corner of the torso and a head that's too large. My visual field is being overtaken by exploding and exponentially reproducing fronds, feathers, and fractals. My heart sinks into my guts as I realize that I am in for more of a ride than I had expected.

T0:30- I go inside and the walls look like they've been decorated with glowing Mesoamerican carvings, great swirling glyphs and blocky faces, formed from pulsing polychromatic neon lines. I realize I will not be able to just hang out with my roommate as I had planned and retreat to the relative darkness of my room to face the unfettered fury of this experience.
In my room I am greeted by the metallic pulsing swirling alien visuals that have seeped into and consumed my mind. The walls are adorned with spiraling swirling blocky patterns that are in turn adorned with hundreds of steely lifeless glowing eyes. Mysterious humanoid figures begin to form in these patterns, though they are still restricted to existing on the wall, in only two dimensions. The floor begins to fracture into interlocking rectangles that levitate and hover around me like a swarm of flies, light cascading down beneath them. I feel like I am surrounded by looming figures, silhouettes that are backlit by a brilliant hallucinated light. My room quite obviously does not appear as my room anymore. It has become an alien temple, the floor hovering in pieces above a pool of shimmering light, the walls consumed by flowing and self transforming patterns and glyphs, some extruding towards me, others retreating into a vast glowing void. My ceiling has become shiny and black and vaulted and it soars dizzyingly skywards. I feel alone in this sanctuary, like this hallowed place is sheltering me with its lustrous purity. I cannot comprehend any space outside of my transformed room, I am unable to even entertain the thought that it is possible to leave this space, but that's okay, I am safe here. Though honestly I do not know if I am inside or outside. I begin to feel a crawling sensation, like great neon snakes are coalescing from whatever material composes my bed and are slithering their way up towards my heart. I begin to sink into the bed, and then into my own chest it seems. My own ribs tower over me on either side like great lurking monoliths, clawing at the sky. Suddenly it feels like I am being pelted by a clattering dissociative rain as my entire field of vision is consumed by a cascade of tessellated hands and faces. Soon this pattern is interrupted by the interjection of pastel pink iridescent centipedes, slithering across the stoic yet delicate tessellations.
I blink and am returned to my room, but everything is made of polished black stone. Every surface is laced with glowing and pulsing vitreous red vein-like patterns, angular and sharp like the circuits on a circuit board.
I again get this feeling that I do not know whether I am inside or outside. I again get this feeling that I am being enclosed, cut off, isolated in my own private chamber. A retinue of mysterious figures surround and tend to me, as the flashing veins pulse more excitedly. The patterns of the glowing red veins and the walls begin to flow towards me like a river of lava.
As the room closes in on me, I begin to sense smaller figure surrounding me- a small crew of mysterious animated figurines, made of the same black stone as the rest of the room, adorned with teal pulsing veins. These faceless beings seem to be redirecting the red veins of the room towards me, an effort to imbue me with their mysterious energy. I look down at myself and I too am hewn from this black stone and embelished with these illuminated veins. I am a great neon golem, I feel like I am a god in this world with a dedicated cult of beings lending me their faith. The attend me in pious frenzy, trying to empower me and elevate me with their esoteric prayers. They seem to have summoned me and infused me with this energy for some purpose, although what that purpose is is not clear. Every now and then it feels as though the pulses overwhelm me, and I am overcome with pure and unrelenting dissociative energy. When this happens I feel like I am sinking into whatever surface I am on, falling into a great numbing hole. I can always snap myself out of it though.
It is now that I begin to get a sense of why they have summoned me. Out beyond the reaches of my glowing cocoon, my own personal temple, I sense it. At the very border of the light and dark it lurks, an ominous feeling, an antithesis to the brilliant light, an equally brilliant darkness. The lights around me shine ever bolder in protest, illuminating the vast stretches of a grand citadel that was previously obscured from me. I sit at its center, anticipating the slithering darkness that has come to devour it.  Wherever I cast my gaze, the lights intensify and shoot further out into the dark, its amorphous yet intricate and horrific Geigeresque textures retreating before the glow. Soon the energy and light overwhelms me and it feels as though my mind has shattered into a mess of shards, each shard representing some piece of my existence- little blocks of memories, of personalities and beliefs and indescribable feelings. From the light comes a parade of beings who seem to have developed to interact with these shards, each one unique and specialized to properly interpret and process a different aspect of myself.
I feel burnt, helpless, unable to react or respond. My mind no longer intact, it is difficult to keep track of time or anything really. It is as if I blacked out for a bit. My memory begins to fizzle to an ethereal nothing, soon accompanied by my surroundings. Everything becomes more vague and the lights begin to mesh together and muddy one another and cancel each other out as the experience begins to slowly slip away from me, like I am being drained of my neon blood. My mind seem to be latching to these patterns and visuals still, in some desperate attempt to cling to the place where I was so revered, but it eventually recedes beyond my reach.
I blink as I come to in my room. I question myself as to why I did this on a Tuesday. I still feel very wobbly and everything looks loose and shaky, as if it's all been carefully suspended on an oil slick on the surface of some flat still water, and the slightest disturbance on my part will ripple and dismantle my surroundings. I am still and in awe. There are still figures looming in the corners of my vision. Any straight lines i see collapse into diagonals or zigzags.

T1:30- I am sort of in shock from how the last hour transpired. My memory from this point forth is somewhat foggy, and it seems I only took notes during the peak of the experience. I recall still feeling wobbly at this point with walking being very difficult. The visuals have died down substantially, though there are still light flashing patterns on the walls and I still see tracers with all movement. I am down enough by this point that I can rejoin my roommate downstairs.

T3:00- Most of the effects have subsided besides a warm glowing euphoria that wraps around my limbs and pumps gentle energy into me. This is exceedingly pleasant. The light visuals have continued at the same level for the better part of the last hour and a half. I am hanging out with my roommate, we have been watching things on the TV because I am still too physically dissociated to play video games.

T7:00-I still feel faint and wobbly, with light visuals still persisting. I feel warm and somewhat wired. I know sleep will not come easily, so I take ~2 mg of etizolam and that allows me to calm down and sink into a slumber.

I was not at all expecting the intensity of this trip, but I am glad I experienced it. It was remarkable for how separated I was from reality, yet how clear and intact my memory remained for the better part of the peak. The esoteric effects, the mysterious figures, the looming darkness and the glorious citadel and the odd disjointed storyline all came across like a particularly powerful and surreal dream. 

1 comment:

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