antlion

Monday, February 10, 2020

BOD

Age: 24
Weight: 130 lbs
Dosage: 25 mg oral in gel cap
Setting: My friend’s house

T0:00 – Take my dose. I am at my best friend’s family house in the suburbs, with another dear friend and longtime partner in crime. Both people have lived with me in the past and have been involved in many of my psychedelic shenanigans. One of them is on a dose of 4-AcO-DMT and another on 4-AcO-MET. We’re hanging out in the living room playing video games.

T0:45- I’m feeling a bit buzzy and nauseous, sailing just a little bit but the winds are warm and gentle. I feel slightly euphoric and stimulated.

T1:25- We’re laughing and joking, being social with people I am so comfortable and familiar with feels so nice. I feel stimmy and nauseous and tense, fairly standard for a phenethylamine comeup. It’s so cold outside and I can feel chills coursing through me. I smoke some weed to take the edge off of the developing bodyload.

T1:45- Laughing a lot, uncontrollably at times even. It feels so nice to laugh, it feels so nice to feel happy. I feel like there are rocket boosters starting to ignite in me but I will not take off or go anywhere, I am quite content to keep restlessly sitting in this comfy chair. No position feels quite right though, and a discomfort grows in my stomach. I feel so elated and jovial nonetheless.

T2:00- Open eyed visuals are starting to set in, as flashes of color in the white space on my computer. They don’t seem to follow any discernible lines or patterns beyond the contours of other objects on the screen. They are slight, burned in ever so slightly like a light toast. We tried to play a badly glitching copy of Mario Party 4 on an old console with a very new TV. Something along the chain didn’t cooperate, the game was in black and white and would lag and freeze a lot, the music occasionally distorting. The entire experience was colored and overshadowed by an eerie discomfort. For a while the menu music continued against a frozen screen, it seemed to carry its own creepy sentience, a ghost mocking us from the digital realm. We eventually gave up.

T2:45- The experience is leveling off now. The visuals haven’t built up much more, they will occasionally flash in and then disappear. They are timid and seem unsure of whether or not they themselves should be here. With my eyes closed there is not much to note either, just waves and pulses in dull colors.
The chills have faded to a grand rising rippling heat, it feels the way a boiling hot radiator feels on a snowy day, incredibly radiant, wet (I’m mildly sweaty), but not necessarily luminous or fiery. It’s like my body is a great big furnace. The heat energizes me, I feel so restless and I want to get up and do things and move around. Despite this visceral urge, I cannot come up with any particular reason to get up and do things, and all I could do really is pace around the house, so I just sit still and fidget. It feels spacy, not like I am spaced out, but like there is a huge empty volume to this trip. I feel like my mind is a child running around in a big empty room- a lot of energy to let out and nowhere for it to go, or no way for it to really affect the space around it. My thoughts are articulate and succinct, when I talk I feel like I am direct and to the point and earnest. It is pleasant to feel this way.
The bodyload continues, the same tension, restlessness, and nausea. Now an irritating urinary retention has set in too, a recurring side effect from phenethylamines. I constantly feel like I have to go but I can’t, and flushing myself with water doesn’t seem to do much. I am continuously hitting my Cannabis one hitter in hopes of abating some of these discomforts. Each hit feels like blowing on hot coals, they make the trip breathe and glow and emit more heat, it makes the visuals shine for a bit before they fade into the background again.

T3:30- The trip burns and sizzles as the peak lingers, like a hot ember sitting on my skin. My one friend who loves comic books shows me some of the ones he brought and explains to me what he likes about them. It’s so fun to listen to him talk about something that he loves and it was really cool to engage in this media with him as a sort of guide, it fostered a newfound appreciation, particularly as I don’t read western comics much. The pages were not adorned with distinct visuals but it seemed as if the craftsmanship and composition behind the art particularly stood out. This feels like a psychedelic stimulant, not necessarily a “roll” though, with no empathogenic effects to note. Rather, it seems to shine most in the range of its cognitive effects, it feels as if the things I am engaging with are imprinting deeply on my memory like a brand. I send out long overdue correspondences with people online and read through forum posts about research chemicals. The things I type out feel articulate and salient, and it feels exciting to engage with people so far away.
I spend a lot of time just sitting there petting my friend’s dog. It’s so nice to interact with this big mammal and have an animal respond positively to my presence. I find myself pondering how pleasant so many little things I take for granted are.
The urinary retention has become particularly marked as the other sides of the bodyload have receded. I find myself frequently having to get up and go and there is a persistent ache and itching tension in my lower abdomen, it is fairly unpleasant. My bladder feels like a weight that the rest of my body strains to hold in place.

T5:00- Another friend has arrived, he isn’t tripping though he just smokes weed. The trip is definitely on the downturn now but I haven’t really noticed a remarkable comedown. It is like the trip is sneaking out the back door. Socializing is warm and buzzy and fun, I’m laughing a lot.
We decide to kick off a 50 round game of Mario Party 6. This is grueling but also enjoyable, it fuels me with euphoria like a fresh rocket booster. Visuals have mostly died out by this point, just faint play and bright colors on the walls. The overall sense of internal dynamism and heat also plays on into the cold winter night.

T7:30- I feel like the comedown has leveled off. The trip is certainly still there, and smoking more weed feels more like stoking the coals than just transitioning into being stoned. We play a different game now, and my one friend who was tripping has left. We hang out long into the night chatting and joking and enjoying each other’s presence. I still feel very warm inside too. The urinary retention persists, and the irritation of it has crept to the forefront of my thoughts.

T10:00- I leave and wait for the trolley home. It is very cold outside, but I mostly feel fine, aside from my extremities. There is definite heat still rising through me. When the trolley comes I feel hot and flustered, the cognitive afterburn of the trip continues, miraculously almost at the same level as a few hours ago. It seems to have a very drawn out comedown. This makes the ride home more entertaining, though the station closest to my house is closed and I have to walk a good bit to finally get home. The internal warmth was truly a blessing here.

T12:00- I’ve been at home in my warm room smoking more weed. At this point the trip has mostly slipped away and I’m just regular stoned. The urinary retention still persists though.

 T13:00- Go to sleep without issue. Physical side effects have mostly subsisted by the next day and are entirely gone by midafternoon.

Conclusion: This is an excellent psychedelic for socializing in any setting, it would be a lovely party drug but was also excellent for just lounging around with some very close friends. It would probably be very boring to take by myself. It is very hot and filled with energy, it’s a big furnace inside my body with infinite space for the heat to dissipate, it’s intrinsic energy bolting in every direction just for the sheer joy of it. It lends itself to articulate conversation and thought, not particularly introspective but rather it allows for a similar degree of careful analysis of the external experience. The comedown is a long, drawn out and stimulating psychedelic afterglow on the tails of a relatively short and manageable peak. The cognitive effects were strong, while most sensory effects were nondescript or hardly noticeable. Very unremarkable open eyed or closed eyed visuals, though they were definitely there they were subtle and escaped attention. The major drawback was the intensely uncomfortable urinary retention that persisted well after most other effects had subsided, even into the next day. Urinary retention is a fairly standard side effect of psychedelic phenethylamines for me, but this time was remarkably more uncomfortable than others (though not nearly as bad as 2C-iP was).

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