The PCP Trilogy: Introduction

     PCP is one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood drugs in the world. Its reputation precedes it in almost every context, it has turned into something so extraordinary and mythical that it is often simply a punchline. It is perceived by many to be the ultimate drug, an object of pure danger and destruction lurking only in the darkest most decayed corners of the inner city. The hardest, most dangerous, most insane drug, only consumed by the most hardest, most dangerous, and most insane people. I simply do not believe that this reputation is reflective of reality, and much of the negative perceptions of the drug is due to a mixture of propaganda and the contexts in which is it normally taken.

    It is not evil. No drug is evil, they are neutral substances that reflect the people that manufacture, sell, and use them. It is not a guarantor of violence or harm. No drug is, as far as we know. It is obviously not harmless either. It simply exists, for us to choose how to use it.

    PCP was originally developed as an anesthetic for humans, then later found use as an anesthetic for primates. It notably caused issues with human anesthesia as patients would sometimes recover in an agitated uncontrollable state. The drug soon hit the street, first available as tablets and powder (called angel dust), and eventually, sold as a freebase oil dissolved in solvent, in which cigarettes would be dipped and smoked. It built its own mythology, an edgy drug for the most violent fringes of broken societies. It seeped into police SOP’s and the evening news. It became widely seen as a scourge and a terror. It is referenced often in 90’s hip hop, often as a measure of insanity (“Crazier than a bag of dust” being a line dropped by both KMD and Biggie smalls). Two rappers even formed a short lived duo specifically dedicated to the drug called “Leak Bros.” putting out the single album ‘Waterworld”, where every song is explicitly about PCP (it’s pretty hit or miss but I love the hits). Its use peaked in the 80’s and 90’s and steadily declined. It is quite rare nowadays. It is only found deep in a bunch of unconnected cities in the U.S.A, with some isolated pockets of use in places like Australia and New Zealand. In cities where it is available one mostly only finds older people using it. But the market is still undeniably moving, and it seems to be a major source of income in some places. But it is nowhere near as prevalent as it used to be.

    What has given it its dark reputation? In part, a concerted campaign of propaganda that characterized it as something near-demonic, as one of the sickest and most depraved products of low-income black communities, yet another means of impressing the brutal drug war upon that population. The airwaves were blasted with a handful of high profile incidents of extreme violence and bizarre public behavior. A perception was created that it was a universal inducer of violent madness. This is of course, simply not the case. Millions of people use and have used PCP without incident. If every user turned into a naked berserker, surely there wouldn’t be anyone left to use it and no market to produce and sell it. Buoyed by these perceptions, PCP became a universal excuse for police to maximize violence against suspected users.

    Nevertheless, I am remiss to dismiss the very real violence and destructive behavior that has been inflicted by people using PCP. Many people in the neighborhoods of many cities where use is prevalent can share a story of a friend or neighbor or family member who did PCP and had some kind of outburst usually ending in violent police intervention. The extremely high profile incidents of violence cannot be ignored- people have assaulted and killed people or themselves while under the influence of PCP, people have stripped off their clothes and walked around in public, people have become extremely difficult to subdue when fighting police, this is undeniable.

    Why does this happen? Is it because the drug is evil? Per propaganda, there are often many elements that are simply left out of reporting these stories. Many of those implicated in violent incidents in PCP are people who already have a history of committing violence. They are people who may be violent while drunk, or on stimulants, it just so happens that one of their violent incidents was on PCP. McCardle and Fishbein 2002 suggests that the primary driver of aggression is underlying causes, not the drug itself. Disrobing is usually attributable to the drug raising body temperature. Perhaps the worst exacerbating factor though is how it is consumed- the aforementioned dipped cigarettes and before that powder. With both of these means, it was nearly impossible to know what dose was being ingested (even consumer mg scales have a hard time measuring doses that low), which is dangerous because PCP is incredibly potent, with a medium-high dose sitting around 10-12 mg. People were likely taking extreme doses of the drug which turned into full manic psychosis. These extremely high doses can induce visual hallucinations and a godlike delusions. Combined with a sense that one is dissociated from the consequences in the world and the fact that this drug was often being consumed in dangerous, high stress, and sometimes violent settings, there is a recipe for disaster. Someone taking a psychedelic in the kinds of settings where people commonly consume PCP would probably also have a bad trip.

    Clearly though, it is still enjoyed enough to feed a market. In 2015, it was estimated that 6.3 million Americans had used the drug at least once in their life. If it was such a universal predictor of aggression, if it so reliably induced harmful behavior, with numbers like that, would we not have seen a widely orgiastic bloodbath of violence in the populations that use it? While the incidents of violence due to PCP can appear more acute than those induced by other drugs, and while those on PCP are much harder to subdue by police than those on other drugs, it is simply a myth that is much more dangerous behaviorally than alcohol- which is not particularly safe! But it is certainly less stigmatized than poor PCP. Just as in alcohol, the vast majority of PCP users do so without causing problems.

 

    PCP is a completely standard manic dissociative- perhaps the baseline to define that class of drug. It makes one feel numb and floaty. It makes one feel lightheaded and dizzy. It makes one feel warm. It is stimulating. It induces a sort of mental dissociation from oneself and ones surroundings, turning existence into a sort of simulated solipsistic space. It burns with euphoria at times, furious and raging pleasantry. Most of all, it induces mania, a sense of personal grandeur, a feeling like one can do anything in the world, a feeling like one is the main character, with a mandate of destiny that gives one permission to do anything to realize their aspirations. Racing thoughts, endless ideas, the energy and stature to process all of it. This can sometimes be productive. This can also sometimes be extremely destructive.

    It’s a wonderful drug for socializing-I liken it to being slightly drunk with some cocaine in my system. It is disinhibiting and makes me feel so much more confident. It makes talking fun, it makes me articulate, but makes me annoying to others sometimes. It is great for just hanging out and playing video games. I often found myself using it simply to do chores around the house, as it gave me energy, motivation, focus, and an odd bit of dissociation that made the tasks seem less mundane. I think it is very fun, which I think is why people try it and enjoy it too.

    If I had to compare it to other drugs, I would say it is most similar to 3-Me-PCP or 3-MeO-PCP. I find it is a little more insightful than 3-Me-PCP and longer lasting, but it is more hedonistic and less insightful than 3-MeO-PCP. It falls in a nice space in between the two, but I would say overall character still leans more towards 3-Me-PCP, with which it also shares a greater physical heaviness.

 

    I find it to be a fairly harmless substance in the controlled set and setting in which I use it. The stigma against it, nevertheless, does a lot of heavy lifting. The set and setting of many users does the drug an unfortunate disservice. It doesn’t have to be this way though. It could be sold in a way that is precisely dosed, where people can know exactly how much they are consuming and explore the wonder of lower and medium doses. People can use it in safe and controlled settings. It should perhaps be avoided by those prone to violence, by those who have had destructive episodes of mania, narcissists, and those who are prone to destructive psychosis. It has the power to boost me out of extreme destructive episodes, when combined with calm and intentioned meditation. It can allow one to open up and articulate at the right dose, it can help break down barriers and inhibition. It can allow one to step outside of their emotions and analyze them from another perspective. It left a pleasant afterglow of controlled hypomania for days after sometimes. Its biggest risk is that it can be unpredictable and the mania can be frightening to some. This can be mitigated by titrating doses up in a controlled setting. I firmly believe that in the right setting with the right supervision, PCP or a similar analogue can genuinely be therapeutic.

 

    I sought to write a report to characterize PCP in 3 different settings. I wanted to know it from every angle- sensory effects, physical effects, psychological effects, sociability, interaction with strangers, being in public, agility etc.

    The first report is taken at a baseline, in my preferred controlled setting- alone in my study, incense lit, my favorite music playing. I simply wanted to see the drug as it was, feel it in a comfortable space with different senses deprived, characterize the visuals and auditory effects.

    The second report is taken while doing urban exploration with a dear old friend, where I had to climb and navigate narrow walks and claustrophobic spaces wearing gear in the bitter cold, with warm conversation with my friend. I wanted to see how the drug affected my coordination in tricky settings, my tolerance for cold, and socializing with a comfortable familiar person.

    The third and final report is taken at my local art museum, a huge museum with a world class collection in a beautiful building. It was fruitful for thinking about the act of creation, in peaks of beautiful mania. I wanted to see how the drug affected being in public around strangers and to see how it affected my perception of art.

    Notably, I had the fortune of encountering extremely pure PCP HCl, as a granular crystalline substance. This meant that I could dose it accurately and consistently. This is notably, not the way the vast majority of people encounter this drug- and smoking dippers is its own interesting experience, with ritual and process and smell of the drug playing deeply into the trip. But I wanted to describe the drug on neutral terms, with a controlled dose, to see it deeply as it could offer. Every time I smoked dippers with the intention of writing a report, the experience was too weak. I only felt intensity in the times I smoked them in uncontrolled settings with friends with no intention of taking notes or writing a report.