antlion

Thursday, November 19, 2015

5-MeO-MiPT

Age:20
Weight-120 lbs
Dose: 20 mg
ROA: oral (in a gel cap)
Set: We’re hosting a party later today, I’m excited but also pretty anxious. I woke up kinda early and have a whole day to kill beforehand. Also on a bit of glow from 3-MeO-PCP the previous night.

T0:00- 10 mg taken in a gel cap

T1:00- Starting to feel first effects, a sort of numbing electric stimulation through my limbs, reminiscent of LSD or phenethylamines. Colors look brighter. First alerts seem mild and I do have a good amount of time to kill so I decide to take another 10 mg.

T1:45- It still feels pretty mild, but there is a definite sense of ascending, coming up and rising. Getting jittery with a great deal of physical stimulation.

T2:00- The numbing electric stimulation begins to transition into a sort of dissociation. Lots of body tremors, with bodyload in the form of an odd buzzing queasiness. Not really any visuals except some warping/swirling if I really focus, along with brighter colors. No patterning of any sort.

T2:10- The uncomfortable stimulation has mostly faded and the dissociation has taken over and swept me with a great calm. My body feels so good, and tactile sensations begin to ramp up. Touching things feels fantastic, especially rough surfaces, it’s like my skin can sense every minute feature of every surface, and each little node of stimulus pulses through my body.

 T2:20- I am getting spontaneous tactile sensations that feel like I am gently being brushed by a light cloth or big brush with very fine bristles. It feels like there is a gentle breeze blowing on me from all around. The best way I could describe these sensations is “fluttery”.

T3:00- Visuals begin to pick up, completely against my expectations. They are similar to the tactile sensations in that they flash in and out, fleeting and fluttering. They are vivid amorphous blobs of color, not arranged in any particular pattern and not corresponding in any way to my normal visual stimuli. Eventually faint thick tendrils begin to seep in as the dominant visual, subtly turning the world into a gummy tangle. Otherwise, it seems like I’m looking through glasses that make the world clearer-perspective is a bit distorted but everything appears in high definition and is rippling. I feel very stimulated and restless, which along with chills lends to some slight discomfort.

T4:00- It feels like my mind has just been soaking in a big cold damp psychedelic blanket. I cannot really form coherent thoughts or articulate things. It is different than the usual mental acuity that comes with psychedelics, it’s as though my mind is in such a different void of a place that trying to reconcile that with my stimuli and memories is pointless. I have an alien mind in a familiar world, and the dissonance just creates static. I decide that I’m still not deep enough, and decide to take 2 huge hits from my gravity bong.

T4:30- I underestimated this chemical heavily… The visuals were and still are pretty light and I took that to correlate directly with the cognitive aspect. What followed is still somewhat inexplicable. It felt like a dissociative, but crawling with alien life. With my eyes closed, the ‘visuals’ were ethereal and vague and honestly couldn’t be considered visuals but some strange synesthetic aesthetic experience wired directly into my brain, no stimuli or even hallucinated stimuli, just pure void and essence. My body would just fade when I closed my eyes, no pleasurable tactile sensations, just total absence. It felt like my mind was forming a gravity well and sinking into existence. Any attempts at using some internal narration failed, it was as if my ability to use words had just died. I rode this out for about an hour and then went outside to listen to music and enjoy the sky. There were those same swirly tendril patterns in the sky and more flashes of color, some of them corresponding to the forms of the patterns. The tactile sensations had more or less faded. Music was fascinating, it was like the feeling I get from listening to music stoned where I can pick out every sound and every layer of carefully placed instruments and voices, but amplified tenfold, I could intensify my focus on certain elements of the soundscape and isolate them in my mind.

T6:00-I was mostly down by now, unlike the usual comedown from psychedelics where I feel especially social and have increased mental acuity, I mostly just felt drained and eroded. One thing to note during the comedown was INTENSE muscular discomfort, just a great deal of aching and restless leg syndrome and that feeling of never being comfortable.

T7:00-back to baseline I think.

Conclusion: This would be my first foray into the 5-MeO-Tryptamines and I would later come to understand them as their own class of drug entirely. They are incomparable to other psychedelics for several reasons- The first is a lack of sensory stimulation and distortions until higher doses are reached, and even then the effects are subtle and odd. They do not follow the patterns or harmonies of traditional psychedelic visual effects- rather they are vague, disconnected, and extremely abstract. The headspace is unlike anything else, it’s a blank neutrality and a sense of suppression of the normal channels of psychedelic thought. It’s not entirely as though these chains of thought have been rendered blank, but rather they have been rerouted into esoteric territory that defies proper comprehension- it’s a profound alteration that leaves the mind unsure of how to react. The physical effects of this drug in particular feature a great deal of stimulation and hallucinated tactile sensations, moreso than any other psychedelic I’ve taken. I’m not entirely sure what utilitarian value I could apply to this substance personally, it’s just so odd. The leg pain on the comedown was interesting too.




DXM + 4-HO-MiPT + LSD + DPH + Hydroxyzine

(This one has been published by Erowid!!!!)

CW: Existential terror
Age:20
Weight-120 lbs
Dosage:
T0:00-30 mg Hydroxyzine oral
T0:30-240 ug LSD sublingual, 25 mg DPH oral, 60 mg DXM oral in syrup
T1:00-20 mg 4-HO-MiPT oral in gel cap, 60 mg DXM oral in syrup, 50 mg DPH oral
T1:30-40 mg DXM oral in syrup
Setting: My bedroom

Set: Had been planning this trip for a few days. I was excited but also very nervous, as I knew how intense and just how utterly utterly strange this experience could be

T0:00-30 mg Hydroxyzine taken, with 3000 mg Gabapentin (anxiolytic and anticonvulsant, I’ve noticed it never really has an effect on the trip itself). Shaking with anticipation.

T0:30-Take the next set of doses. Drink the DXM with some difficulty- I’ve noticed I’ve had trouble consuming it lately, even the smell makes me nauseous. I used to be able to drink it with the same ease I could drink hard alcohol (hesitant but not difficult)

T1:00-First alerts- a sedating slight dissociation with light visuals, a unique combined effect I notice when combining the two substances. They usually come on faster when I combine them. I go for the next dose. The 4-HO-MiPT feels like a nausea bomb the moment I swallow it. This is probably just anxiety and psychological but it makes consuming the next round of DXM intensely difficult. I try sipping it, I try gulping it, it’s all very very difficult. I originally had 100 mg laid out for myself but I am not able to finish sipping it before the next scheduled dose.

T1:30-The effects are beginning to coalesce, noticeable in strengthening visuals, psychedelic patterning that seems to be warping and swirling in synchronicity with the swells of nausea that are washing over me. I manage to toss back the rest of last round’s DXM, and have another 60 mg laid out. I can’t though, I just can’t, I want to try to hold all the substances down as long as I can and I know the remaining DXM would make me puke. I’m already clinging to my trashcan for dear life, facedown, fighting my body with all my might. I can feel the 4-HO-MIPT, often a strong nauseating agent in my stomach, exacerbating everything. I feel so dizzy, the room is spinning and rocking.  
There’s no timeline from here on out. It was like falling asleep, I was just in a different plane with no idea how I got there. I recall brief moments of respite and clarity. I am in immense pain, my guts feel like thei are just rotting off of my bones. My room looks distinctly two dimensional. A lot of strange sounds are coming in, like great beasts slowly drifting across the sky. These sounds float around my room like disembodied voices, although they simply seem to be low sweeps and warps. It looks like my room is rippling or vibrating into pieces.
I’m not sure what happened, but I ended up in a faraway existence. An interesting thing I’ve noted is that my experiences with combining DXM and psychedelics triggers a longing for locations in videogames from my childhood… a little background, when I was little I would have dreams that would feature locations from videogames, but it was usually inaccessible locations or background places. I would go to these places and find the most magical things, I had such a strange attraction and obsession with exploring this unknown and finally exploring these places in my subconscious was absolutely satisfying. Well with these trips, those places were envisioned in my mind, in concept, not literally, that same essence of the mysterious unknown, that same overwhelming urge to explore from my childhood dreams, came back. This time it was a location from Super Mario Galaxy.
This only appeared briefly, these only ever appear as I’m about to plunge deeper. And deeper I plunged. This felt like the absolute rawest and direct communication with subconscious possible. It felt like this was an existence dredged from the very depths of my mind. This was the true grimy primordial slime of my everything, and it was disgusting. It was absolutely unnerving to know that this place was the deepest depths of my mind, it was so… idk it seemed corny it seemed gross it seemed unwieldly and lame, I always figured my deep subconscious would be different, but this bulbous gelatinous realm defied all expectation. I sense hints of it when I’m on psychedelics alone or dissociatives alone, but here it was, the full power of them combined.
It did not appear visually, or really exist in terms of any aesthetic experience. After all, those are human channels of perception that taint the essence of all things they receive, translate existence into human terms. But this was beyond that, this was pure thought, pure essence, something that senses could never comprehend. The realm seemed… gelatinous, its essence was one of being amorphous, where beings of pseudopods and projections would travel and float through the solid aether, indifferent to any concept of gravity. I imagined myself as a being in this world, a pained and uncomfortable and disgusting thing entrenched in this existence. I felt like this was the true reality, after all it was true essence! I had always been in this place, I was pure thought and always dwelled in this realm of pure thought, I knew its rules and its esoteric natural laws, the sober world was just a projection, a convoluted structure built from the foundation of pure thought, the senses providing the building blocks for this great tower of delusion. I was home. It sucked. What a fundamentally unnerving and humiliating place. Worst of all was a sense of the essence of hostility, manifest in beings I would call “the dex police”, In this realm I felt so much shame and guilt, and the realm reacted to that, exacerbated it, sent agents to degrade me. Perhaps my crime was building this projection of a world in which I am now typing this.
Just fundamentally uncomfortable on the deepest subconscious level.

T~3:00-I’m coming back, in the sense that I can now recognize the world around me. I am no longer trapped in the other realm, and although I can dissociate when I close my eyes, I am now too far from that place to truly return. One of my friends pays me a surprise visit, I talk to her and am amazed that I am able to hold a coherent conversation despite the way my body and mind feel. I feel like a slug whose mind is exploding with puzzles.

T3:30-I am pretty out of it, I am very dizzy and have the classic dex walk, I go downstairs to interact with people, everything has a cozy warmth to it, perhaps just in contrast to the bitter cold dextroverse.

T4:30-I drank a bunch of the cough medicine I didn’t drink before and it mostly just has a stoning bodily dissociation effect. I definitely do not go back to any hallucinatory or even hypnagogic states, I am just high as shit in my living room.

T5:30-I mostly feel down now, still a bit wobbly and thoughts all feel very…. Surreal for some reason. I am shaking a great deal, especially at the wrists and ankles.

THE NEXT DAY: I feel high and dissociated all day, I have a lot of shaking and rhythmic twitching of my ankles and wrists. Clonus perhaps?

AFTERWARDS: The next few weeks saw a steeply declining and worsening depression accompanied by continued abuse of DXM by itself. This brings me to a point of near psychosis, where the delusion of this world being a projection of dextroverse me begins to take root. I begin to get really paranoid, that these agents from the dextroverse would manifest in my dreams, or somehow even manage to break into my reality, and take me back to where I belonged. It’s uncomfortable. My DXM experiences become a strange mental dissociation, less physical, and feel hypnagogic with my mind drifting away to half-dream states that I don’t even realize are hallucinations until they break. Lots of odd visions. This wore off as I began doing MXE rather than DXM as my “im sad and want to get fucked up” drug


Very hard to describe, kinda feels like these pictures though



If I could assign visual properties to the dex-beings, they would look like this