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Monday, May 15, 2017

Etizolam + Clonazepam + DPH + Gabapentin + Hydroxyzine + 3-MeO-PCP + Caffeine

Age: 21
Weight: 120 lbs
Dosage: 
~5 mg Etizolam sublingual
.5 mg Clonazepam sublingual
180 mg Caffeine oral
75 mg DPH oral
1500 mg Gabapentin oral
20 mg Hydroxyzine oral
10 mg 3-MeO-PCP Intranasal
Setting: My apartment

This is a report about the danger of being in a state of compulsive redosing and the dangers of stacking more and more substances on each other. I mean everything turned out ok, but the danger was present and this could have gone wrong in so many ways. This is probably the hardest I have ever blacked out. 2 versions of this report will be given, one from my perspective and one from the perspective of my roommate. I am very fortunate that I did not incur some severe consequences through the reckless dosing or through my behavior when in this state.

My version:
T0:00-Dosed ~3 mg of Etizolam from a honey locust thorn and drank a full can of monster energy. I was sleepy but had wanted to get very altered to get my mind off of a particular and humiliating stressor. I figured I would drink the caffeine to keep me awake enough to get fucked up without passing out. After some reading however, I realize that the effects of the stimulant might cancel out the effects of the Etizolam.

T0:30- This was the first bad sign. With this cancelling effect in mind, I dose a little more Etizolam, plus half of a tablet of 1 mg Clonazepam. As I would learn, mixing stimulants and depressants is a poor choice, especially when you take more of one to compensate for the other. I also throw 75 mg of DPH on the fire. I dose another ~1 mg of Etizolam. I rolled a really loose joint.

T0:40- I don't really remember anything past this point. I apparently asked my roommate to hang out around now, though I do not recall doing this, I just saw it in our messages the next day. My notes said I dosed 1500 mg Gabapentin, 20 mg hydroxyzine and ~10 mg 3-MeO-PCP throughout the night. I did have very vague recollection specifically of the exact moment I dosed these other substances, but the memory is still pretty foggy, and all the rest was completely lost.

The next thing I remember is waking up the next day at 1 PM. I hadn't changed my clothes at all and my room was in disarray. I found random clothes of mine strewn around the hallway outside and I found my phone in the bathroom, dead. One of my looseleaf textbooks that I had not used in years was scattered around my floor, things on my desk were all knocked over and various objects were not where I had remembered leaving them. I was fairly foggy for the rest of the day, with my full cognitive function not returning until around midnight, after taking several naps. 

My roommates version:
I had apparently asked him if he wanted to hang out and smoke. I came downstairs several minutes later with my loose joint. I apparently fell down the stairs when attempting to run down them. He said I had a blank tired smile on my face, my eyes red and struggling to stay open, as if I were incredibly stoned. I had a great deal of trouble forming coherent sentences and he said I was slurring my words very heavily. I kept repeatedly telling him to bundle up so we could go outside to smoke, seemingly forgetting several times that I had told him that seconds ago. Right before we were to smoke the joint, I said I had to go upstairs to get something. He waited for 15 minutes before checking on me. He found me just sitting on my bed looking at my phone, with my coat removed. I had apparently forgotten that we were hanging out. He decided we would just smoke inside.
He said I attempted to smoke the joint several times, but each time I seem to have immediately forgotten that I had lit it and just held it until it went out, all the while wearing that same blank expression on my face. This continued for a while until he realized it was something of a lost cause. I said I had to go to the bathroom and disappeared for 20 minutes again. He found me just sitting in my room  again as if I had been there all night. I asked that we play smash bros, but when he set it up, I didn't even select a character. he said I was still mostly incoherent at this point, unable to talk my way through an entire sentence, seemingly forgetting my train of thought halfway through. I apparently just sat there and watched him play by himself, dumbfounded.
Yet again I disappeared upstairs, claiming I would be right back, and yet again I seemed to have forgotten what I was doing and just remained up there. I came back down, bringing a bunch of stickers with me for some reason. I really cannot comprehend what my motivations were throughout this experience, aside from occasionally dosing more drugs, which I likely did each time I retreated to my room. I was an entirely different person in this state, incapacitated and impaired beyond any illusion of functionality. We tried to play smash bros again, and this time I did select a character. However, I would begin each game by immediately running off the edge, wiping out all of my stocks.
At this point he called it a night and said he was going to sleep. I offered to smoke the gravity bong with him before we went to bed. He said we went up to my room, and I just sat there, having already forgotten that we were going to smoke out of it. He said he went and grabbed it and operated it himself, while I just sat there watching him, confused as to what was happening. He said he left my room after that, and at this point I went to bed or something. The next day, I had no recollection of seeing him at all that night.

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