Weight: 120 lbs
Dosage: 20 mg oral in solution
Setting: My apartment
T0:00-Mix powder into solution
and drink it. Incredibly bitter, as expected
T0:10-First notes hit. This comes
not in the form of visuals, sensations, or thoughts, but bodyload. I am smacked
with chills, nausea, and bruxism.
T0:20-Start to notice the first
visuals. Very colorful, slight warping and distortions.
T0:30-Visuals are very clear now.
They are florally, they are radiating and blossoming and shaped like rosettes.
They are all very carefully organized and structured. As if the world is made
of hexagonal or diamond shaped cells, and each rosette pattern is blossoming
symmetrically inside each one. They are clear and mesmerizing, and not really
in motion at all. The bodyload is still powerful and makes me shudder with
discomfort.
T0:40-The visuals are picking up
even more. It looks like someone took the warp tool in photoshop and just wiped
it haphazardly across my vision. Everything is twisting and distorting.
Patterns appear on blank surfaces, but even they are subject to this grand
warping. The visuals are rainbow colored, while most substances seem to have a
certain color to them this drug captures them all, a total spectrum. There are
concentric rainbows being emitted from everything. Not just lights, but
literally every independent object, like auras. They pulse and breathe with my
stressed and quickened breaths. This is insanely sedating and stoning, it
almost feels dissociative. I don’t want to move at all, despite the restless
feeling and intense discomfort that makes me writhe and twitch. Something is
torturing my muscles and blood it feels like.
T1:00-I want to find calm and
harmony, I want my body to chill the fuck out. If I close my eyes I really
really drift off, my body fades until all I can feel is my racing heart. The
CEV space is not too strong, but consists of similar patterns as described
before, but with an element of depth and more dimension. I am still
experiencing intense bodyload. I try putting on all sorts of music. I’m not
sure why, but I choose to listen to noise. I really don’t know why I do this,
it doesn’t help anything, at all. In fact it feels like it is contributing to
some psychosomatic landscape that is exacerbating the bodyload. Whatever, I do have
a tendency to fuck with my own body. I curl into a ball on my bed, it’s the only
comfort I can find, it feels like I am on a rocking boat. Emotionally, there is
no euphoria, no depth or introspection even. There is a great deal of pondering
the minute details of my stimuli, especially music. Music becomes pretty
fascinating. I would love to try this one again with a healthier diet and maybe
more melodic and harmonious music. The grinding discord, the disjointed cacophony
and auditory fearmongering shreds me apart though. It’s an interesting sensation.
It feels like the air is being poisoned by soundwaves, that every breath I take
in this space is leeching this toxin into my blood and thoughts. I can’t move
and don’t want to move.
T1:30-I invited friends over, but
told them to come later. They ended up coming early. Whatever, that’s fine. I
let them in. Social interaction feels super awkward. There is still that
over-analytical aspect of every bit of stimuli that meets me, and this of
course makes socializing a total mess. I feel like I am reading too much into
people’s body language and emotions, I am reading into things that just
straight up aren’t there. This interrupts being able to coherently respond to people
or process interaction. Whatever. I’ll just go smoke weed. That usually
pacifies any social awkwardness. My friend brought dabs. Ho boy. We go up to my
room. They interact and I’m glad that I don’t have to do much. I show them some
cool stuff I found recently. I take a dab. I smoke a bowl. I take another dab.
Suddenly, a strange thing happens. It feels like my ears pop. I can suddenly
hear myself in the third person. It is like there is a microphone recording my
voice and playing it back into my ears in real time. This is weird. Otherwise,
there are not really any other auditory hallucinations that are standard to my
trips. The visuals are mostly fading out now, I am shaking a lot still. A lot.
The nausea is still there but has calmed down.
T2:00-We go play videogames. The
amplified mind afterglow is there, but not too prominent. I can interact much
more seamlessly and effortlessly now. There is no confidence or euphoria, but
thigns feel ok. I still feel incredibly awkward at points and my little social
faux pas that are ubiquitous feel absolutely crushing and devastating, but I
get over it.
T3:30-Mostly back to baseline
CONCLUSION: 4-AcO-DET is a short
trip. It’s less introspective and more … outrospective ? Is that a word? You
find yourself hyperanalyzing everything, free of the mooring lines of emotions
or your own ego / personality. It is a very neutral drug. The bodyload was
heavy, but I would later learn that a nutrient deficiency was responsible for
that. I am excited to sample it again once I’ve restored some equilibrium to my
body. The visuals were beautiful, and it made music fascinating.
No comments:
Post a Comment