Age: 21
Weight: 120 lbs
Dosage: 50 mg
oral in gel cap
Setting: My apartment
T0:00-Dose taken as soon as I get
out of class with 8 mg Ondansetron for nausea. I decide I’m going to go by
myself to run some errands on the other side of town.
T0:05-While waiting for the
subway I am struck with a sharp pain in my stomach and lower abdominal cramps.
It passes after about a minute or so.
T0:30-After a long subway ride I
go to a grocery store that specializes in south Asian foods. While walking
there from the subway, I feel some enhancement of thought processes and heightened
music appreciation. No noticeable effects in the body or in my senses.
T0:40-As I’m shopping around the
grocery store I am hit with this wave of pulsing burgeoning swiftness, like suddenly
my thoughts have accelerated. I find myself manically pacing the store, getting
distracted and forgetting what I was there for. I can feel a bit of lightness
in my body. I would call this the onset.
T1:00-I’m feeling nice, very
uplifted both physically and emotionally. I decide to walk half of the way home
instead of taking the subway. It’s very cold out but I am substantially bundled
up and can feel a great psychedelic warmth radiating from my core, thawing the frigid
air from around my body. I am thinking a great deal to myself while walking,
heavily fantasizing about potential positive futures or other satisfying outcomes
for my life. This reminds me of the sort of positive self-thought that comes
from empathogens. I feel entirely enraptured in my own mind, almost unaware of
the outside world, walking along mechanically and automatically and completely
ignoring all the other people I come upon. Visuals pick up slightly as light
and indistinct patterns in the sky, flashing in rainbow colors. Not much else though.
T1:30-I decide to take the subway
the rest of the way home. Upon reaching the station and finally standing still,
I realize how hard I am tripping now. I feel physically uncomfortable due to
the nervous stimulation and twitching in my limbs. Sitting still is nearly
unbearable, I want to get up and pace, but I also feel very awkward being near
all these other people. I feel so dissociated from them and they all seem so
alien. The visuals have made themselves very apparent now. They seem to have
formed into all variety of pulsing concentric circular shapes interspersed with
intricate tangled lacework patterns. All of the tiles on the floor of the
station appear to have conchoidial fracturing patterns on them. Overall the visuals
are very abstract and don’t really seem to follow any sort of larger organization
or symmetry. The subway comes and I take my seat. I am anxious to get home the
entire ride, shaking and hiding my face from people.
T2:00-I arrive home. Walking
around was scary, the high schools had just let out so there were crowds of
teenagers everywhere and I had to walk through these crowds to get home. I
normally have no issue with this but pushing your way through a crowd while progressively
tripping harder and harder on psychedelics can be jarring. While walking it
almost felt as though my body could not keep up with my mind, as if I had some
projection in my mind of arriving home faster but that projection went beyond
my physical capabilities.
I smoke a joint immediately upon arriving
home. The nausea that was somewhat apparent the last time I took this has not
been an issue, but I do notice some other painful abdominal cramps and a bit of
a twisting discomfort all throughout my body. I am very wired and shaking very
hard. I chew some gum to quell the jaw clenching. My thoughts are flowing
quickly and efficiently, and I find myself spending a great deal of time just
reading about whatever catches my interest on the internet, similar to how many
other psychedelics manifest for me. The open eyed visuals are picking up, while
the closed eyed visuals are curiously relatively faint. With my eyes closed,
there appear great checkerboard diamonds radiating their patterns into infinity
and pulsing in the aether. The open eyed visuals are like a tangled web of
roots or mycelium, dancing and intertwining with itself across every surface,
its form seemingly following some sort of mathematical or fractal patterning. They
nestle themselves into formation while pulsing and flashing with waves of
purple and teal. Soon my entire visual field is shaking, as if the world is coming
apart at the atoms, as if these webs have woven their way deep into the fabric
of existence and are slowly splitting it apart like how water seeps into cracks
and freezes to cleave rocks apart. It is as though the world is screaming from
being torn apart, but the fundamental deconstruction of all things has subdued
this scream to a muffled shout. While I am very altered, I also still feel very
grounded and lucid and functional in some sense. Perhaps my entire frame of
reference has been shifted aside into some esoteric realm and my “grounded” is
objectively cast into some distant space. The visual circuitry that has been
disseminating throughout my sensory field seems to crackle and sizzle, searing
cancer into reality, belching out plumes of smoke from the charred fabric of
every intertwined atom. The room appears foggy now.
T2:40- I am very stimulated, not
being able to sit still comfortably in any position for long and shaking a
great deal. I am also sweating vigorously now. It feels like I have done so
much in the past 40 minutes, and that time has slowed down around me, but in
reality I have just been reading a lot about WWI on the internet. Nonetheless,
it does feel like I’ve taken in a great deal of information, moreso than I
would expect myself to in that span of time. The visuals now appear as
radiating geometric patterns, still a degree of abstract and amorphous. They do
not stand out as being particularly interesting or spectacular, this just feels
like a very standard energized psychedelic experience. I physically feel very
hot, and there is a burning sensation deep in my body that radiates through my
veins like a poisoned fire consuming a building, reducing it to a desert of toxic
ash that billows up in great choking plumes at the slightest disturbance.
T4:15- I have found myself very
focused and able to read a great deal at once, only facing a small degree of
the incapacitating distractibility that usually prevents me from reading. My
friends have come over and are hanging out downstairs with my roommate but I’m
content to be holed up in my room, immersed in the steely blue fog of this
drug. I have noticed at this point I feel like I must urinate very frequently,
though when I try to go I find myself unable to. This eventually leads to my
bladder feeling very sore and strained. This only progressively gets worse
throughout the night.
T6:00- I finally decide to go
downstairs and join my friends. It still looks like everything is foggy and
smoky, and the air outside of the warm confines of my room chills me to the
bone. Being in a well-lit space
surrounded by other people is very disorienting. I thought I was mostly down
but the sudden immersion in a new environment makes me realize just how hard I
am still tripping. Conversation initially is awkward and difficult, however as
time goes on I find myself more capable. It’s similar to jumping into cold
water and slowly acclimating to the temperature. I am hearing and feeling this
crackling sensation in my inner ears, especially while I am talking or if I
have my mouth open. This fades after about an hour but is certainly novel and
mysterious.
T10:00- We have been hanging out
and smoking weed for the past few hours. The open eyed visuals have been coming
in waves, seemingly independent of when I smoke. They mostly appear as those
same labyrinthine laceworks that swirl and twist and dance on any flat surface.
I find myself much more able to do social interaction now, in fact I find
myself more able to than when I am sober, a typical effect of psychedelics. We
watch this absurd Kung-Fu movie I picked up from a souvenir shop in Chinatown, with
incomprehensible subtitles, an incoherent plot, and absolutely absurd acting
and visual effects. It’s one of the most entertaining and baffling things I
have ever seen and the comedown of the drug has certainly enhanced that. While
the trip winds down, the urinary effects have only gotten worse. I find myself
laden with chills and overall discomfort, but the bladder pain is certainly the
worst aspect of it all.
T16:00-I finally decide to go to
bed. The cognitive and sensory effects of the drug have mostly worn off by now
but I am still racked with physical disturbances. I still feel very stimulated
and no position I lie in feels comfortable. I am shaking fiendishly. My abdomen
aches. I still have to get up about every 20 minutes to pee, it is painful and
uncomfortable and the bladder aching still persists. This just plain sucks now.
After lying awake and tossing and turning for some unknown amount of time I eventually
fall asleep.
Epilogue: The horrible physical
symptoms continue into the next day. The same abdominal cramps, nausea,
shaking, and urinary pain and urgency consist, showing no sign of letting up. I
feel feverish and sweaty all day and have a great deal of trouble regulating my
temperature. This sucks a lot. I have almost no appetite and can barely eat all
day. I give myself a heavy cocktail of sedatives around bedtime so I don’t have
to toss and turn while suffering through this again. I feel better the next
day.
Conclusion: This drug is okay at
best. The last time I tried it at 30 mg I barely had threshold effects, but the
urinary symptoms presented in full force. At that time, I had been experiencing
less acute versions of those symptoms for some time before the experience, so I
was hesitant to blame the drug. This time however, demonstrated that the drug
was definitely responsible for exacerbating that state, and it seems it is
quite capable of inducing those symptoms in me when they weren’t already
present. The headspace was interesting enough but not particularly unique. I
could get the same thing from other 2C’s without the horrible toxic effects on
my body. The only part that stood out as pleasant was the comeup before the
bodyload really kicked in. The sensory effects weren’t particularly interesting
either, with only moderate and fairly abstract visuals. The whole trip felt
like being seared by a cold toxic fire. One thing to note is that both times I
took this drug I didn’t feel like I was tripping very hard, but in retrospect I
realized how separated from my consciousness I really was. This one has a very
long and very gradual comeup that immerses one into the experience so slowly that
they may not even notice when it starts to really come on.
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