DCK

(This one has been published by Erowid!!!!)

Age:20

Weight-120 lbs

Dosage: 50 mg insufflated

Setting: My apartment

Deschloroketamine is a new arylcyclohexamine on the scene (already reportedly being sold as normal ketamine in the UK...), and it's a blast, I'd be stoked if someone gave me this instead of K. Nomenclature is weird. DXE has been thrown around but that's just to market it  to be like MXE, that name makes absolutely no sense. DCK would be the most proper abbreviation but like... DCK hehehhe lololol sorry I'm like 12. It is the ketamine molecule (a derivative of PCM (phenyl-cyclohexane-N-Methyl), minus a chlorine. MXE gets the E in its abbreviation from being a PCE analogue, the E indicates an N-Ethyl group. The X in MXE designates the 3-Methoxy group. There is no N-Ethyl or methoxy group in this one. DXE is about as wrong a name as you could give it. DCM is one I think is proper but it hasn't caught on, i doubt itll catch on, and no one will recognize it. I'll just call it desket for short. But i digress.......

I took live notes during this one. They are incoherent. You can read them here:

http://pastebin.com/skHnA3uS

I tried to incorporate them into the report as best I could but a good chunk of them I just don't remember and a lot of it just isn't even words.

T0:00-Crushed into a fine powder and insufflated. Stings a little bit.

T0:30-Onset, beginning to feel the first warm notes of dissociation, a feeling of being underwater and having warm waves roll over me

T0:40-Warmth begins to wrap around me. I feel a strange feeling, like its going to level off here. I am wrong. CEV’s begin to manifest in red and blue patterns. I begin feeling numbness in my extremities.

T1:00-I feel glued to my bed. It feels like the lower half of my body is unreeling, that there is a numbness winding its way up my body. This is a pleasant and welcome sensation, it feels like I am made of fluffy cotton and having tight bounds removed, so I am free to puff into the atmosphere at my discretion. Classic dissociative effects come in, with ataxia, double vision, numbness, and a total collapse of proprioception. I feel like I am in many many pieces as I have no idea where anything is in relation to anything else.

T1:10-I feel dizzy and buzzy. Another classic dissociative effect, more reminiscent of MXE than Ketamine, I feel like the outlines of my being are vibrating into static, disintegrating into low-fidelity blurriness. I feel like I am buzzing.

T1:20-I somehow manage to take 2 hits from my gravity bong, to kick this into next gear. Hooo boy. Timestamps cannot exist for the next bit of time.

Independent movement quickly becomes a foreign concept as I am rendered more or less catatonic. This is the warmest and most pleasant drug induced paralysis I’ve ever felt, it feels like a great warm blanket has been draped over me, immensely heavy but not so much as to crush me. There is no reason I would want to move, I have been rendered statuary, both physically and psychologically. This is a big dissociative hug.

I have my laptop on my lap. I decide I will try to type out live notes of my CEV scapes. I find myself able to operate my fingers at the very least, but it is extremely difficult. If I am not looking at them I completely lose track of where they are, and I find my sense of which hand is left/right crossed many many many times. I’ve fallen into a dissociative “hole” state, and this is pretty cool. This hole is nothing like vast empty expanse of the K hole, but rather is strikingly similar to MXE. It has the same deep intense reds, greens, and blues acting as auras and a general color palette for this internal world. Similarly to the MXE hole, it is an experience of mentally generated surreal worlds and scenarios, all appropriately abstract and highly incomprehensible. These aren’t the coherent disturbing alternate realities of DXM, simply dreamlike amalgamations borrowing elements from my conscious world. My notes are unfortunately irredeemably incoherent at points, but I do recall the feeling of being sprayed in the face with a great numbing hose, or lying in a raging river and having the rushing water swirl around me and take my form away.

One visual I remember is the entire world flattening into ribbons that slid past one another, each adorned with many blurred violet human silhouettes. It was as if they were film strips containing a million soulless bodily forms. The other close eyed visuals came in the form of biomorphic hallucinations, mostly imitating animals that I have an affinity for. Images of insects, isopods, stingrays, and millipedes paraded around my exploding mind, all of them being bent and warped in impossible ways to fit the strange constraints of esoteric patterns that lurked beneath this rippled reality. I feel like I am being washed over by a raging storm, and it feels great, it feels awesome. It’s raging benevolence. It’s a tsunami and a hurricane that simply want to give me a hug. It feels like raging winds are blowing away the dust of my corporeal form. I try to write these images, but I am forced to open my eyes every time I want to type. I keep losing track of my fingers, and they keep losing track of one another.

Waves are a recurring feeling, ocean waves, washing over me. Each time they wash over me, my form melts and coalesces to fit the form of the surface of this nonexistent sea. My entire existence is on a plane that is undulating and splashing about. This feels immensely and irresistibly cozy. I feel like I have built a psychological fortress, I have made a castle of soft numbing bricks, this is my safe place, this is the realm where I have dominion, over an imaginary world, but most importantly, dominion over myself that I do not feel in my sober life. I spend a great deal of time hallucinating vivid dream scenarios. I ditch my anesthetized body and explore the caverns of my mind. In the included notes there is some vague attempt at mentioning many of these dream sequences. Honestly though, a great deal of those notes are incoherent and I have literally 0 memory of them, so I will just leave them be for now. There was a great deal of scenario/setting shifting however, teleporting me around the city and taking me to all variety of strange fractal castles. This feels like a grand carnival, a celebration of my imagination, I am inside a great hexagon, and a billion geometric forms strive to converge on me. Surreal looking creatures parade around the rim of my polyhedral world, this is an orgiastic and slovenly display of ego and rather than ego loss, it seems to be an ego transplantation, it is moving the ego to a place where it is boundless and powerful to its own discretion.

2:30-I can read a clock again. I suppose I am coming down. I feel like I cannot return to my beautiful crystal hole. But I have more of this stuff. I can always go back :3 I am so tired though, the sedating effects of this substance are real and heavy. I just want to sleep, all my limbs feel impossibly heavy and I move in slow motion. I go to bed at 12 AM. This is absurd for me, I usually go to bed at 4.

Epilogue: Sleep was weird. It felt like I didn’t sleep at all. I had vividly realistic dreams, not lucid dreams however, it was like living out movies, being directed by fate and puppet strings and the hand of god, to perform the most mundane tasks in what bordered on a fever dream or the sort of scenario projections that strike whenever I try to sleep after taking deliriants.

I am high the next day. I talk people’s heads off, the afterglow is typical of any dissociative afterglow, but I am thankfully spared the short term memory loss.

Conclusion: This stuff is great. New favorite drug mayhaps, it is a beautiful colorful adventure space like MXE, where I can to a degree create a world of my own design. This is what I’ve been pursuing through psychonautics all this time, this is what I’ve pursued my entire life. I feel like with more trials and more focused meditation I can totally control this to an omnipotent degree. Flashes of narcissism ;)

LSD + 2C-B + 3-MeO-PCP ++ DALT

Hey, first post of the new year! This is recounting my wild new year's eve :3 Without further ado:

Age: 20

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage:

200 ug LSD (sublingual)

35 mg 2C-B (oral)

10 mg 3-MeO-PCP (sublingual)

10 mg 3-MeO-PCP (Intranasal)

80 mg DALT (vaporized)

Setting: My friend's house, subways, my apartment

T0:00-Happy new years! It’s about 10:15 PM, I am going across the city to go to a party with my friend. I take 2 tabs of acid and pack up the rest of my party supplies and go.

T0:30-I am definitely feeling the first notes of the acid. Not a sort of distance or dissociation, but warmth and a feeling of being in tune with my mind and body that I get when I hit a sweet spot dose of 200-300 ug. A perfect party dose.

T1:00-I arrive at the party. I quickly pop 35 mg of 2C-B in a gel cap. I had a pretty large meal about 3 hours ago, so I’m not really sure what will come of this.

T1:45-It’s midnight. Happy new years. I’ve been socializing fine all night, albeit a bit strangely and awkwardly, but I don’t mind. I’ve been sitting in the back yard smoking weed for the entire party, the cold isn’t bothering me at all. Visuals are very light, only can be seen when I look at the ground or look into the sky, typical patterns. The trip feels very light so far, it would seem like the 2C-B is still on the onset. I should’ve taken it earlier.

T3:00-It’s later and the party is winding down, I dose the 3-MeO-PCP now by popping open the capsule and pouring the powder under my tongue. The inside is less crowded so I feel better about going inside. I feel a feeling of confidence coming on. I feel like dancing, I feel like partying, it feels warm and pleasant. Too bad the party is winding down. 

T3:40-I decide to head home now. Everyone is going to their respective homes, and I realize im not going with anyone. Whatever, this will be more fun. I feel immune to the cold night as I walk to the subway station. I wonder how it would feel to suddenly become the victim of a violent crime, to get stabbed or shot. What would I do? Would I just go home and deal with it or accept death? Would I go to the hospital? Fun thoughts. I reach the subway station and take a seat. The platform has all sorts of new years revelers milling around. I see mice running around since it is around 2 AM. I decide to kill time by reading about them. Fascinating creatures, its odd to think someone as complex as a mammal has become so ubiquitous and numerous, and that something as complex as a mammal has infested the highly specific ecosystems that humans create. I suppose that’s why there isn’t much diversity amongst vertebrates in these settings… but I digress, I am coming up substantially now, with very strong and distinctly 2C-B visuals appearing on every surface. I become transfixed by staring at tiles, which are decorated with striated and striped foliate patterns. There seem to be subtle faces hidden amongst the patterns but it is dominated by an organic sort of abstraction.

T4:00-The train comes. I sit in a car behind a person. People are looking at me, its an appropriate night to act like I’m so fucked up that I don’t notice though. The person in front of me has a voice that comes from eating lit cigarettes every day for 10 years. I can’t tell if she’s coughing or talking, but she asks if I’m okay I think, then says something dismissive sounding. Eh. The train pulls into the central station where I have to transfer. Holy SHITttt is it crowded. It’s like 2:30 AM and its packed with revelers. I duck off into a little corner and stare at the wall until the train comes. Catching snippets of people’s conversations around me is very very odd. People are weir, everyone looks like caricatures, or stereotypes of their given subcultures. I recognize some people as they run around the platform in and out of my field of vision, assign them character personalities and stories. At last the subway comes. Things only get worse. Now this dense mass of people must squeeze into subway cars. I get in, but barely, I am pressed against a window and tripping fucking balls. Flashes of green and pink hit my peripheral vision and illuminate patterns on blank or mottled surfaces. I am wearing headphones and manage to drown out a lot of the people noise around me, this calms me down. A person sitting in front of me looks like she’s on the verge of crying. The boy next to her keeps trying to console her, and eventually it seems like she’s passing out, and he has to keep her upright. Weird thing to witness while dissociating into a world of patterns. I eventually reach my stop and push my way out of the subway car. This ordeal has lasted a great while. I finally get home at about 3 AM.

T5:15-After hanging around the house for a bit and basking in how many balls I am tripping, I take a shower. In the shower I think about a lot of things that I don’t feel comfortable writing about. A lot of it is plotting, manipulation, dark thoughts and things that make me a bad person. I suppose this is what comes with the territory of confidence.

T5:25-I get out of the shower. I rail another 10 mg of 3-MeO-PCP because why not, it’s new years.

T5:40-The ceiling looks like it’s a dome, its bending away from me and being touched upon by patterns formed from right angles. Suddenly the greatest softest feeling washes over me. I feel like a moth, I literally feel like a moth. I am soft, I am fluffy, I am lightweight and I can fly. I feel like I am made of dust, I am covered with downy hair and downy scales, I am a cottonball with great muffled wings. The word “moth” is weird to me. I know it designates an animal, but when I hear the word the association isn’t made. It is lost all its symbolic meaning, it is simply a lonely and unattached word now. I am not a “moth” I am that animal that is covered in fluff, with 2 wings covered in downy scales, and feathered antennae, primarily nocturnal and rests with its wings open. I feel so soft, I feel so warm and snuggly, I wish I had someone to cuddle with right now. I listen to really pleasant soft music. It feels indescribably beautiful. I am somber but I have opened a brief bubble of glowing respite, glowing like the moon in a lukewarm night, the moon that moths flutter in the silvery glow of. I honestly don’t know what’s real or what’s not anymore. My memories feel so distant. Like I know I’m not a moth, but that’s it. I have no idea what’s real or not beyond that, but It doesn’t bother me at all.

T6:00-I go outside. I’ve decided I am going to try smoking DALT out there. It takes me forever to get ready. I keep losing track of what I’m in the middle of doing. I keep losing track of where I put things. I keep getting distracted. It feels like the myth of Tantalus. My short term memory is fucked. I finally manage to get outside. I was gonna lounge in the bathtub we had back there and smoke. I make a shocking discovery. Our backyard has been cleaned up and our bathtub has been cut into pieces and stacked in a corner. What the fuck. Who did this. I begin to think I am just hallucinating this, that I have really gone that far. I wake up my roommate and get him to confirm. I am so scared. Waking him up is weird. His voice doesn’t sound like his and he doesn’t look like him. It’s really unnerving. He confirms that I am not hallucinating our backyard. Whelp. That’s disappointing. I go up to my room and decide to just smoke the DALT in there.

T7:00-The smoke tastes like sweet DMT, it is a very subtle but manageable acrid, it tastes sort of like pumpkins but it is wholly a unique odor. Each hit I take feels like I am being pulled further and further out from reality, into a grand fractal globe of repeating concentric patterns. Like a great cosmic tongue, reaching out to taste me, and my essence swirling away from me to meet it. At last it savors my flavor, and draws me into its maw. I am truly gone.

T7:20-I close my eyes and it feel my body fade to nothing. I feel it melt into my sheets, become a part of the great fractallized diamond everything around me. I am so distant from myself, I feel the love of some motherly feminine essence envelop me. It feels like an embrace from the fluffy legs of a moth, it feels like being enshrouded in its dusty wings. A great green glow permeates this realm and cascades around me. I do not feel like I am contacting an entity, merely touching with and embracing a personification of some inherent essence of the universe or of my internal self. I feel this great motherly presence descend from the sky and enshroud me in great smoky fingers. It feels like the hand of god, it feels like divine protection and the fire of life and the burning back of forests of death. A great glowing pastel crystal fractal flower blooms above me and blossoms into infinity. Death is something to think about here. My heart is racing, what would happen if I were to die? My existence, everything became a great intricate skull, one that seemed to be woven from a billion waxy fibers, it was like a cattle skull, flashing in deep green and crimson, it was the idea of death, encapsulating all the fears and notions the living hold towards it. It was a great desert that was blossoming with life, it was an oasis of existence. Everything felt so natural and perfectly in place, and so beautiful. I felt cleansed and healed, the energy was pastel pink, green, turquoise and blue. I felt the same strike of life force I’ve gotten from other trips, especially mixing psychedelics and dissociatives. This essence,  this non-entity that I mentioned before is wrapping me in its dusky wings and singing soothing songs that cascade onto my brain.

T8:30-It’s time for bed. I take alprazolam and etizolam to knock myself out. While I lie there waiting to sleep, I get dream projection scenarios like with DXM. It’s vivid visions that simply take place in the world around me, I just walk around and do normal things in these hallucinated worlds. I open my eyes and I am back in my bed, I haven’t moved at all. It’s interesting. I eventually fall asleep.

Epilogue: The afterglow the next day was really nice I was confident and social, and didn’t even feel out of it but rather improved in every way. Although I was a bit wacky and out of touch with reality. You take what you can get I guess.