*This report dedicated to the loving memory of RT. I have never met someone so mysterious and unique, so full of vitality and joy. Most unique was the sheer and seemingly unconditional kindness you showed me as a near stranger. I have never met someone who seemed to be so enamored with the joys of life and the joy of being alive. Rest in peace and party forever my dear friend.*
Age: 20
Age: 20
Weight: 120 lbs
Dosage:
30 mg 2C-C oral in gel cap
10 mg 4-AcO-DET oral in gel cap
70 mg 5-APDB oral in gel cap
100 mg Ephenidine oral in gel cap
50 ug LSD oral
40 mg MXE oral gel cap
100 mg Ketamine Intranasal
??? mg DMT vaporized
Setting: My apartment
So I guess a combination of this
magnitude requires a bit of background. We were hosting a party at our house
later that night. I was trying to decide how to alter myself for this one,
considering I had altered myself in a special way for pretty much every single
party we’ve hosted. Alluding to my effort to develop streamlined and specific
applications in combining substances (see this essay / this thing / this report), I decided I was going to put together the perfect party pill. I
decided what qualities I wanted in the trip and what substances would guide
that. I am most social and functional on the comedown of trips, so I figured I
would take it as soon as I could so I would be in that state by the time the
party started. Here is my rationale for each ingredient:
2C-C – A visual psychedelic with
an interesting headspace but functional lucidity. Not too stimulating and not
too much bodyload which is a plus.
4-AcO-DET – A deeper psychedelic
to add a bit of that tryptamine depth and profoundness to the trip. I selected
this one specifically because of its short duration.
5-APDB – An empathogen would be
perfect for a social occasion of course, I decided to keep the dose low so I
wouldn’t make too much of a fool of myself. I chose this over MDMA because it
is less stimulating. In general I didn’t want to mix too many stimulating
things together.
Ephenidine – Probably the most
social/functional dissociatives I’ve taken, with strong visuals, euphoria, and
psychedelia. It was relatively familiar at this point, and it would provide a
sort of dissociative base from which to work from.
LSD – Shulgin describes 2C-D as ‘psychedelic
tofu’, and I figured a bit of LSD would serve this purpose too. I had a half
tab left over from when I split some last week so I decided to just throw it in
one of the capsules (this was a very strong batch). It would provide a familiar
and functional psychedelic base from which to operate.
MXE – I loveee MXE. This was
added for its rush and its euphoria, and to amplify the general dissociation. I
chose less stimulating substances for the other parts of the combo, so I figure
I’d this this experience be powered by the stimulation of MXE.
The next thing to be considered
was timing. All of these substances had a different length of come up and onset.
Ephenidine and MXE took the longest, so I put those in the first capsule. 5-APDB
had a slightly longer comeup than the psychedelics in my experience, so that
came next. Lastly all the psychedelics. At this point I decided I wanted more
MXE so I just added some more to this capsule instead of cracking the other one
open. All of the capsules were filled with powdered ginger to combat nausea.
1st capsule (T0:00):
100 mg Ephenidine, 20 mg MXE
2nd capsule (T0:25):
70 mg 5-APDB
3rd capsule (T0:30):
30 mg 2C-C, 10 mg 4-AcO-DET, 50 ug LSD, 20 mg MXE
T0:00-Ingest first capsule. I am
in math class right now, my last class of the day, and there is half an hour
left. I don’t like doing drugs in school, but I had to get this started as soon
as possible. I figured it would start to kick in a bit after I got home.
T0:25-Class ends, ingest second
capsule as I leave the room.
T0:30-Ingest third capsule while
walking home. Not feeling anything yet. Stop by the corner store and pick up
some blunts.
T0:45-I’m home now. Our house is
a wreck. I start cleaning by doing dishes and picking up the stuff that is
littering every surface in our house. I can feel the dissociatives start to
come on as I clean. It is this feeling of lifting and rising, of my weight
slowly reeling away from my body. My roommate comes down to help clean. I feel
a squirming in the pit of my stomach as the psychedelics begin to play. I flop
down on a couch, it feels like my form is rushing along a rollercoaster, the
wind slapping my face. I am sweaty and out of breath. I’ve really done it. The
entire world seems to turn liquid as I begin to drift and wobble away. I
confess to my roommate that I probably can’t help clean anymore. We talk for a
bit, but I am struggling to understand what he’s talking about. I decide to go
upstairs.
T1:00-I smoke a bit. The world
begins to flash and come apart at the seams. Colorful lines begin to appear on
every surface, twisting together and dancing their formless dance.There’s a
tangle of incomprehensible rainbow forms that start to telescope and recede
into infinity. My entire room looks like its shaking. Earlier that day, I took
a test in organic chemistry. I am struggling in that class, so it’s been
weighing on my mind quite a lot. Suddenly, the visuals shift to match the ball
and stick depiction of organic molecules. Everything is overlaid by hexagons,
shifting, rotating, switching and turning to represent stereochemical shifts in
chirality, reactions and rearrangements of molecules, representations of some
of the fundamental forces and properties that compose all things on this earth.
My body feels like it’s been wiped with a cloth and smeared along glass. Or
that my body has turned to putty and these great psychedelic invisible hands
are twisting and turning, pinching and pulling and squeezing and smearing my
form.
T1:20-I begin to fear for what I’ve
gotten myself into. I do not feel grounded at all. What if I am still in this
state when the party begins? I find myself adrift in an overwhelming and
powerful confusion. All the drugs have kicked in, and it is almost like I can
discern each one in this swirling maelstrom. But none of them are interacting
with each other, rather they are all fighting and clawing for dominance of my
headspace. The dissociative kick comes in briefly, and I feel the river rush of
MXE drag my form across the room. Then the melting, sinking, numbing weight of
the ephenidine stops me in my tracks and sucks me into the floor. The 2C-C
responds with a zap to fetch my attention, then straddles me across its
framework of colored diamonds and hexagons. The acid cowers in the background,
tossing itself ever so slightly into my periphery. The 4-AcO-DET smashes
through the scene, dragging my mind into a different paradigm, blossoming
violently. I pace my room in circles as I cycle through this, each drug taking
its turn to ravage me in its own separate way. The 5-APDB is the only one that hasn’t
reached its full potential yet, and simply presents as a warm and sweaty discomfort
that colors the whole experience with a sickly shade. I feel like I am filled
with sand and the grains are sloshing around me with each movement. I feel like
my sense of touch has turned into static, a rushing river of interference
eviscerating and distorting every bit of stimulus I try to take in with my
skin. The loss of ego that suddenly strikes me is profound. I am not a person, a functional being, or any recognizable iteration of humanity. I am a physical vessel of flesh, within which chemicals react, and upon which those chemicals act. I am but a reaction chamber that physically responds to what is being reacted within it.
T1:40-I am still pacing my room.
I try to lie still on my bed and listen to music, but for the life of me I
cannot keep still. It is like in this battle for my mind, the drugs are tossing
my body about, inflicting collateral damage upon my restless and discomforted
form. There is no sign of them coalescing, only the confusion of this absurd shattering
of my existence. I decide to try drawing to ground myself. Whenever I sit down
however, it feels like every bit of me is being dragged across the room and
into the ceiling. Like some jet stream has taken me to pieces and sprayed them
about. All I can draw is frantic scribbles and jagged lines. No forms, just my
hand being dragged and tossed about by this unconquerable current. I am still
thinking about molecules quite a lot. I imagine that my axis and my limbs have
become chemical bonds, and each movement is the substituents of this parent
chain twisting and moving about through space, forming different stereochemical
isomers. Walking has become a baffling ordeal as I am forced to crawl around my
room. I am being pinched and twisted into all variety of shapes.
T2:20-It feels like something has
washed over me. Or rather, it feels like a great warm upwelling from within.
The sun seems to shine brighter. The entire world suddenly shifts in tint and
becomes anew. I think the 5-APDB has finally kicked in full force. All of these
sparring forces within me are suddenly swept up by a flash flood and swirl
together in its raging waters. It feels like everything has suddenly clicked
into place. Each drug is a puzzle piece, and for the past hour these puzzle
pieces have been twisting and rotating every which way, struggling to find out
how to fit together, but to no avail. But at last. It seems as if they have
finally found their correct orientation, and have enmeshed with one another
into a glorious shining beacon of existence. I feel like I have hatched from a cocoon,
I feel like I have metamorphosed into my glorious winged form. I am in party
mode. Miraculously, I can walk again, although I am still a bit unsure on my
feet. All I can do is smile and glow and radiate colors and light. I am so
fucking glad. I feel fully functional and capable of doing anything, in fact I
feel capable of doing more than anything. I rush downstairs and run into my
backyard to bask in the sun’s beautiful glow.
T2:30-I feel so fucking euphoric.
I am so proud of myself, that I ended up getting the exact desired effect from
the cocktail that I put together. I feel so competent, like I’m a professional
drug-doer or something. Whatever that means. It doesn’t matter I’m high as
fuck. I want to tell everyone how great this is, this is reminiscent of that
time I mixed MDMA with mushrooms and 25c.
T2:40-The first guest arrives. I
greet him. I am really fucked up and he can tell. I thought I was functional,
but I soon realize I am in no state to host a party. Whenever I sit down I sink
into a well of colors that forms on the surface of whatever I am touching. The
guy is pretty used to using hallucinogens so I don’t feel awkward or out of
place being in this state. Conversing is awkward for me but he doesn’t seem to
mind. We smoke more. Holding things is a strange feeling, as objects all feel
so weightless.
T3:00-More people show up. All I
can do is sit on a couch and zone out and stare at them as they seem distant.
No use trying to talk. This is slightly worrisome, the party is beginning and I
am in such a state of turmoil. Through frantic pacing and drinking a lot of
water, I feel as though I can probably sufficiently sober myself up though.
Every time I stand still or sit down however, it all comes rolling back and
swamps me. Bright patterns adorn everything, and they are nice. My body is
buzzing into numbness, and that is nice. I just don’t like the mental
impairment that comes with the dissociatives and 5-APDB. It’s short term memory
loss and slowed gummy thoughts, this makes conversing so difficult and awkward.
T4:00-Even more people have showed
up. However, I am sufficiently down by now. I am relieved to have turned out
okay just in time. I decide I will refrain from smoking for another hour just
to make sure I don’t accidentally kick things up too hard.
T5:15-The time has come. I smoke.
A lot. And it turns out okay, I just feel stoned. Somehow, the most acute
effects of all the drugs seem to have completely passed. I am now just feeling
slightly dissociated, and colors look brighter.
T7:00-My friend who has a lot of
a lot of different drugs has been selling his wares in the basement. I am
hanging out with him and decide to treat myself to a bump of ketamine. This
does nothing more than give me a slight dizziness and wobbliness that lets me
drift around the house like a ghost filled with sloshing water. I really only
feel it in my body.
T8:00-He is also selling DMT, and
has a vaporizer for it. I decide to hit some. It is the familiar DMT rush, and
it is like the edges of my vision are bending inwards, a swirling pulsing cacophony
of color at the fringes of everything. This is a nice effect to accentuate the
state I’ve been in all night, but doesn’t last very long.
T10:00-Smoke more DMT up in my
room. The party is winding down and people are just hanging out in my room,
hotboxing it with DMT. I smoke more of it and all it really does is put me in a
pleasant state of warping purple visuals and a warm rising body high.
T12:30-Go to bed finally.