Age: 21
Weight: 120 lbs
Dosage: 50 mg
oral in gel cap
Setting: My apartment
T0:00-Dose taken. At my house
with friends over, two of them on acid and one of a combination of MXP and DXM.
T0:20-First notes begin to
manifest, a bit of chills and shaking with some abdominal discomfort.
T0:45-A familiar warm psychedelic
weightlessness sets in. It feels warm and fuzzy, yet at the same time there is
great discomfort stirring within me. My muscles constantly feel as though they
are on the brink of springing to action, making them quite dissatisfied with
the fact that I am simply sitting still. I am quite nauseous and stricken with
this stimulated toxicitiy like my nerves are being zapped into overdrive.
T1:00-The same feelings continue
to fester and spin inside of me. Visual effects begin to pick up as if they are
a distinct result of my brain “frying” under this stimulating electric storm of
nerve impulses. They appear as a dancing haze, a psychedelic fog tracing itself
in the air and giving off the appearance of auras and heat waves. Closing my
eyes give the first clear visuals, triangular patterns and chevrons rapidly radiating
out of central points, flowing furiously like conveyor belts gone haywire,
flipping and spinning and rotating around and vigorously cascading outwards. I
am shaking quite a bit now.
T1:30-Still the same discomfort.
The nausea and GI symptoms are calming slightly although the shaking has ramped
up to the point where it is impeding my ability to type. For the sake of
amusement I tried converting my vicious tremors into playing a bass drum, as I
find myself tapping my leg very rapidly. It sounds like a machine gun, it was
pretty cool, I wish I knew how to play drums because I could probably do some
absurd blast beats in this state or something. I really don’t know much about
music to be honest though. The same closed eyed visuals are still presenting,
still moving as rapidly as my heartbeat, my thoughts, my every movement. If I
could describe myself in one word, it would be ‘fast’. The open eyed visuals
are simple concentric patterns and a distinct fogginess to my vision, not
blurriness but as if my vision was washed out and faded. Cognitively, my
thought processes are mostly introspective and self-reflective, as if the
burden of trying to orient my excess energy with the outside world is too much
and I must turn inwards for any sense of harmony or calm. Even confined to an
inner realm however, my thoughts still flit about too quickly for me to catch
them, too erratic for me to focus on them or process them. They whizz around
nebulously like a swarm of insects. Yet I do not feel anxious in any way. I am
taken by a sense of mindful calm and being in the present, a distinct ability
to ignore these relentlessly errant thoughts and to peacefully accept this
ignorance. My thoughts are racing and I just don’t care.
T3:00-I’ve felt faint and overall
faded for the better part of the last few hours. The tremors and shaking are
still enough to interfere with any activity that requires fine motor skill.
Nausea and queasiness has been coming in random bouts the entire time, seeming
to alternate on and off every 20 minutes or so. Despite what feels like many
close calls I do not end up needing to vomit. Open eyed visuals have mostly
been slight and only noticeable when focused on. Thought processes had mostly
sputtered out now leaving that sense of empty calm, despite the physical
agitation. This drug is pleasant, but not particularly deep or interesting. I
find myself saying a lot of extraneous stuff and being pointlessly verbose in
conversation, speaking in long, rambling tirades, and sending long rambling
messages to people.
T3:30-Smoke a lot of cannabis. It
seems to calm down some of the bodyload for a bit. I am shaking somewhat less
and the nausea seems to have passed. The smoking stokes the flames of my thought
however, and what had been smoldering embers was now ignited into a glistening
glowering conflagration. The visuals also became more prominent. A text from
someone who couldn’t know I was tripping filled me with racing anxious thoughts
about how to deal with the situation and the potential bad outcomes, especially
in case of them trying to call me. I decided to calm myself down by hiding
upstairs in my room. I was feeling so overstimulated that I decided not even to
turn the light on and simply lie there in the darkness. Lying down was overall
comfortable, at least at first. However, the agitation in my limbs filled me
with this looming sense that I should be up and about. The open eyed visuals
were more prominent now, appearing as great spiraling checkerboard fractals,
rapidly spinning and morphing and pulsing and radiating in the dark, not in any
bright colors but in muted cool tones. Everything seemed to have a rippling
magenta aura. I became locked in introspection as I was tossing and turning on
my bed, struggling to find any one position comfortable for long. My thoughts
often turned dark and pessimistic and I was often struggling to reconcile my
existence with the amount of suffering others experienced and potential
suffering I could experience. My thoughts were always grounded and pragmatic
though, and never risked spiraling out of control. I also found myself having
to urinate quite frequently, sometimes encountering urinary retention despite
this. After going I decided to rejoin my friends downstairs.
T4:15-Some friends come by and
smoke. Socializing feels awkward but these are good friends whom I am
comfortable with, so it ends up leveling out and feeling okay. I feel tweaked
out, like the energy I had previously that I could devote to making verbose conversation
had burned away and left me feeling lazy and slurred. Despite this I still
physically felt very stimulated and speedy. After they leave, another friend
arrives and doses LSD, adding to the collective madness of the setting. My one
friend is heavily dissociated and loudly repeating words while my other is
content to sit and stare blankly upwards, while yet another seems to be
receding from reality all together. We play super smash bros, I find my ability
somewhat improved, perhaps due to a faster reflex time and faster, twitchier
fine motor movements for pressing buttons.
T4:40-One of my friends who is on
LSD and is inexperienced with psychedelics accidentally makes a bit of a mess.
I take them upstairs to give them a change of clothes and find they are lapsing
in and out of being responsive and that they seem at times entirely unaware of
the outside world. They are completely disconnected from reality and any sense
of consequence, and that’s when I realize this person needs to be watched over
by a sitter. I feel lucid enough to take up the role and also deal with the
cleanup of the mess. Somehow I manage to quickly, calmly, and competently accomplish
all of this, beyond my expectations of my functionality in any state. I end up
having to knock my friend out with benzos and sedatives as their trip seemed to
have taken a sour turn and they had wished for it to end quickly. After they
are safely asleep I rejoin my other friends downstairs who seem a bit freaked
out by what happened. The nausea has returned and is coming in waves again.
T5:20-As the night goes on we all
smoke a great deal of cannabis. I am still phasing in and out of intense nausea
and despite not having eaten all day I have absolutely zero appetite. I find
myself still having to urinate often too. The shaking has not let up either,
though I have my motor skills about me enough to roll a blunt by this point.
Through the next few hours I feel the familiar pleasant feeling of a
psychedelic afterglow, though the physical effects have only barely decreased
from peak levels. I can form thoughts more eloquently and make connections
better than normal, I feel witty, funny, competent, smart and confident. It
feels deep and not superficial, and hanging out with my friends feels great as
we joke and laugh all night. I do eventually feel like I have grown exhausting,
to myself and others. I end up going to bed very late into the night despite
having to wake up somewhat early the next day.
T14:00-I go to bed. Sleeping was
difficult as I felt pretty wired mentally and it was very hard to get
comfortable physically. Though it had died down substantially, I was still
stricken with the nausea and the tremors and the agitation in my muscles.
T24:00-Almost a day later I am
still feeling the physical effects, even though I have returned to my normal
self mentally. I am still quite nauseous with some stomach discomfort and I
still have to urinate frequently. I am still shaking a bit and the agitation
still resides in my limbs, making it uncomfortable to sit still for too long.
Mentally I feel drowsy and worn out all day, even after taking a nap. I later go
to sleep early after starting to feel a cold coming on. My memory of the past
day’s events is somewhat foggy, not as crystal clear as some of my memories on
psychedelics are, especially with LSD.
Conclusion: This is certainly one
of the most physically stimulating psychedelics I have taken, with the physical
effects long outlasting any of the other effects. The amount of tremors and
muscle agitation was unreal, though all of that would probably have felt more
manageable if I was walking around or doing something other than sitting in my
house all day. The nausea and stomach/abdominal cramps were definitely
prominent throughout the experience, coming in waves and lingering like a slow
burn well into the next day. There did not seem to be any empathogenic effects.
There was mild cognitive enhancement with thoughts geared towards
introspection. The visuals were very mild and unremarkable. Overall it was
really not much more than a novel experience and I don’t see myself taking it
again for any reason.
