antlion

Friday, August 24, 2018

DiPT

Age: 23
Weight: 130 lbs
Dosage: 70 mg oral DiPT
Setting: My apartment

I had already experimented once with DiPT. I tested the waters with a low dose, as my research had suggested that along with its novel auditory effects, DiPT is heavy on the mind and body. I ended up polluting and adorning my first experience with an assortment of other substances after finding it much more manageable than expected. For this second experiment I increased the dose and made sure to not add anything to it other than cannabis.

T0:00- Dose taken in gel cap.

T0:40- Begin to feel the first notes- the usual nausea, though it is slighter than it is with many tryptamines.

T0:50- The other expected physical symptoms begin to kick in- chills, shaking, further GI discomfort.

T0:56- The first hint of the predicted auditory effects begins to manifest. There is a slightly noticeable drop in pitch. I am listening to familiar music to serve as a reference.

T1:15- Sounds are getting deeper. Despite the fact that I am objectively being slowly and gradually immersed into this experience, I have a sense of rapidly and violently sinking and spinning down and down, like a pebble in a lake- it's like a auditorily illustrated descent into madness, a great big waterslide into a bulging syrup that swallows every sound that comes to me. My mind is reeling and I am shaking a great deal more.

T1:35- It’s still burgeoning and ballooning, I put a playlist of familiar music on shuffle as a reference point to fully analyze the alterations. The slide into this trip is gradual and continuous- it seems like every song sounds deeper than the last. Perhaps this is a perceptual illusion, like a Shepard’s tone, but what isn’t a perceptual illusion while tripping? Are the effects asymptotic? At what point will they level out? Only the passage of time will answer these questions. However just when I think I am following a predictable slide into the bubbling cauldron of effects, new perceptions begin to manifest-
There is slight warping at the edges of my vision, like viewing the world through a glass disc, curved around its rim. It is subtle but definitely noticeable. This was entirely absent with a lower dose.  
Soon the auditory changes are not characterized only by a drop in tone, but also by a sense of bending and flanging and whirling and warping. It feels analogous to how the visual effects of psychedelics alter base visual perception- the ways in which my visual input would be altered have transposed themselves onto my auditory stimuli. Perhaps if I had more understanding of sound, tone, and music theory, I would be able to discern patterns and structures similar to the patterns and superstructures present in the visual perceptions of more standard psychedelics. To my mind however, it is simply a chaotic and esoteric shakedown of my sensory experience. The timbre of everything simply sounds “broken” for lack of any better description- it all feels so wrong, yet it is simply the experience I have subjected myself to, and I am content to accept that.
The bodyload sits atop the trip like a gargoyle, unpleasant but entirely manageable. The nausea is bubbling and tense, as if the churning of my stomach has a magnetic energy that pulls my muscles inwards towards it, taut and unnerving.

T2:00- To answer my previous questions- sounds still do seem to be getting deeper, albeit it a slower and subtler rate. I would describe the progression of effects as being certainly asymptotic. My auditory input is adorned with further hallucinatory effects- Now there are odd off kilter harmonies sliding up alongside everything – as if every sound has a duplicate that is shifted slightly out of phase, turning the world into a beautiful cacophony of discordant tones, yet this is not unpleasant in the least, it is mostly fascinating.
The last time I did this, I found the novelty of the experience exhilarating. I felt elated and euphoric and wanted to communicate this enthusiasm with everybody I knew, as if the drug had an empathogenic effect. This time around however, the novelty has worn off and the experience is very matter of fact- merely existing before me. Perhaps all of the euphoria, the excitement, the sociability from last time was just a result of being enthralled at the novelty of the experience. I am decidedly content with the experience I am having now but am not feeling much beyond that.
Cognitively I am still largely functional, typing the same, existing the same, I could probably pass for sober in most contexts were I not so weirded out and distracted by the alterations to sound.

T2:36- Things definitely have a sort of ringing metallic quality now, as if every sound is being played inside of or being emitted from a steel drum. It is like the room has become round and reflective around me and every sound is bouncing off the walls and splattering and clattering around every which way, a sharp metallic reverberance.
The out of phase harmonies that accompanied every sound have now taken on a form of their own, it’s as if every bit of input has a ghost image, shifted slightly askew, fuzzed and twisted into a ringing, beeping, buzzy corruption of their source, a pixelated simulacrum.

T2:50- Decided to work on a drawing that was commissioned by one of my friends. I notice that my drawing ability doesn't feel altered in any way- none of the flowing traceries and patterns and repetitive or radiating or exponential forms that I typically draw while on psychedelics.  While listening to more music I notice the flanging effect is less noted through headphones than through speakers, as if the distance the sound travels through the air gives it a greater capacity for the drug to wrangle it and bend it out of shape. Another odd effect is music with voices that have been pitched up now sound completely normal- this shouldn’t be surprising or interesting in the least, it was entirely expected, but it was interesting to observe. Aside from that, sounds still are tinny and have an odd ring to them.

T4:20- The effects have for the most part leveled off- the asymptote is now in its holding pattern as it approaches zero. I have been watching youtube videos for the better part of the last hour. Mostly videos of airsoft because I was curious about the hobby, having never participated. Watching videos of people and hearing their voices in a non-musical context provides for a new interesting stimulus. Every voice of course sounds lower, but is also accompanied by an odd low buzzing, like a speaker clipping. It’s as if there is a fuzzy distortion oozing off of every sound and pooling at their feet, a jumble of artifacts and noise.

T6:00- The auditory effects linger but barely noticeable at this point. I am unsure as to whether or not I have simply gotten used to them and tuned them out or whether they have truly faded. I don’t really care to be honest though. I smoke more cannabis and it has no effect on that aspect of the experience.

T7:00- Call it a night and go to sleep with no problem.

Conclusion: This drug did exactly as advertised. There isn’t too much more to say on it at this dose. Higher doses may yield more profound disruptions of one’s sensory experience. At this level though it is at the very least an interesting novelty that all self-proclaimed psychonauts would find fascinating and perhaps glean some value from. It’s a curious experience but so far hasn’t proven to be much beyond that.

DiPT + Nitrous Oxide + 3-MeO-PCP + Etizolam


Age: 23
Weight: 130 lbs
Dosage: 40 mg oral DiPT, 2 canisters Nitrous Oxide, 10 mg 3-MeO-PCP oral, 2 mg Etizolam
Setting: My apartment

T0:00- Dosed in a gel cap on an empty stomach.

T0:40- Mostly just feel tired. I am fairly sleep deprived going into this. I begin to doze off.

T1:00- I am awakened by a knock on my door. One of my friends decided to pay me a surprise visit. I am certainly not used to knocks on my bedroom door and I am grateful I was not tripping harder or this situation would have proven impossible to navigate. It was a pleasant although unexpected visit (I would prefer a message in advance in the future). As we were hanging out talking, I noticed an odd feeling creeping up on me more and more. It wasn’t the churning bodyload of a coming trip, or the odd shift in reality, but just a glowing high and dry feeling, starting to smolder in my core. This demanded my focus and attention and I quickly found myself zoning out in the conversation I was having. No sensory effects were noted yet but I ended up dismissing my friend so I could ride out whatever experience was approaching.

T1:45- The bodyload creeps up now. My muscles are tense and my extremities are shaking, as a slight nausea walks circles in my stomach before settling down to sleep. I smoke some cannabis to mitigate these effects.

T2:00- The world feels as though it’s melting, that everything is turning into liquid and aether around me. This isn’t perceived visually, rather it’s just the essence of that feeling being imposed on my mind. I am adrift and swimming amongst this melted world that still appears very much solid in my eyes.
And then, the most famous effect of all- I have begun to notice that music is distinctly deeper. Though it is only slightly deeper in tone it has a sense of depth in that it feels like it occupies more space, that is has more force and booming cavernous energy behind it. I am listening to my music on shuffle to explore the effect.
With each song that comes on, the pitch drop is more and more noticeable. There is accompanied by a sense of the waves cancelling each other out and going blank randomly, like the different parts of each song I listen to have been shifted out of phase in a way that they destructively interfere. My immersion into this experience is like a bubble suddenly popped in my head and this is what remains, similar to how one’s ears would pop on a plane.  At this point it’s not particularly exciting, just weird and novel. I am cognitively mostly lucid, with just the smoldering glowing high that is standard with psychedelics.

T2:30- I run into my roommate in the hallway while refilling my water and speak to her a bit. It’s very strange- my voice is odd and deep and booming and I physically feel as though my throat should be larger because of the depth of my voice. It’s an odd dissonance that manifests psychosomatically. Her voice too is the same kind of deep- it’s profoundly strange to witness that effect coming from a living breathing human being.
I am having fun, I am playing with more stimuli just to sample how intense the effect is. I feel giggly and elated, not from any particular pharmacological euphoric effect, but a giddiness as this novelty. I want to brag to all my friends about this truly unique experience. I message and chat with many different people who I have told about this drug before I had tasted it, conversation flows smoothly and articulately. I’m having a great deal of fun sharing the details of my particularly odd experience with others.
I decide to continue experimenting with different auditory inputs, this time by watching an episode of “The Simpsons”. I figure it will be something familiar that exists as a clear reference point in my mind so I will be able to clearly discern how sound has been altered. To that end, I settled on one of the episodes I had seen the most times, “Bart vs. Australia”.

T2:55- After watching the episode, I get the impression that the auditory effects seem to be a thin veneer, not fully formed. For the duration of watching the show, they lapse in and out of existence but sometimes they'll catch on me like a sunbeam shining off of a glittering crystal. They duck in and out and are at times very intense and jarring, while at others being hardly noticeable. This seems to fade in and out at random, though to a degree It's like the effect is more pronounced the more I'm paying attention to it.

T3:30- I take a gravity bong hit of weed and prepare to take nitrous, just to delve even deeper. I fill two balloons with the sweet gas, one balloon with two canisters and the other with just one canister. Upon getting ready to take the plunge, the balloon with one canister pops. Oh well.
The effects of nitrous were like I was lying down in a great void while a wall of sound, big deep black and shining blasted in the distance, its sound cavernous and immense. But I was paralyzed, floating in place, frozen into the mirror stillness of an inky puddle while this menacing auditory monolith loomed in the distance, blotting out the sun and drenching me in the shadow of its sound. The flanging waves of its thunder were visible as they roared through the air, rippling the fabric of reality with them. Within a minute or two the effects had predictably faded, leaving me feeling spaced out and dizzy, also as expected. There wasn’t much observed synergy between the substances, save for the fact that the typical nitrous flanging and phaser effect was deeper and heavier.

T5:00- I have been languid and bored for the last few hours, doing nothing but browsing the internet and listening to music. The novelty has for the most part entirely worn off from the experience. I decide to dose 8 mg 3-MeO-PCP orally just to spice things up a little bit.

T5:30- Start to feel the dissociation like a big cloud or a huge fog bank hovering over my brain, blurring and distorting everything that passes and streams through it. What were once crystal clear distortions have been sacrificed to noise and reverberation, the auditory inputs turning fuzzy and buzzy. Like sunlight through an overcast day, the light is dimmed and scattered.

T5:40- There is now a distinctive but mild tinnitus. It is very slightly annoying at worst not existing to any degree where I would consider it intrusive or problematic. Other than that, there is the typical expected interplay of 3-MeO-PCP with a psychedelic, though it is a very atypical psychedelic. The strange physical warping, the bubbly numbness, the sense that my field of vision is clenching and flashing.

T6:00- I am feeling like there is a great glacier crawling through my mind, shedding pulses of frigid intensity and strobing my field of vision. My fingertips are numb and everything still sounds deep. The beating and pulsing rages like a storm, further mutating soundwaves around them. I decide to go out for a walk, throwing a dash of etizolam onto the stack.

T6:20- I set out. I am unsure of why I am doing this or whether this is a good idea. Seemingly smelling that I had stepped outdoors, the dissociation pounced on me full force, quickly subduing my mind. I feel so genuinely and intensely out of touch with reality. I do not feel like I am actually outside, and I am questioning the physical existence of every object around me, I am questioning the very flow of time that all of these objects are subject to. My movements are uncoordinated and I am surely stumbling like a drunk. The distant appear close and the close appear distant.
I wanted to walk to the river nearby, stand on the bridge and feel the glorious breeze and gaze upon the glowing skyline of my city in a heavily altered state. I stopped at a nearby park along the way for a breather and noticed the effects reeling away- perhaps this was the etizolam cutting things off? I shouldn’t have thrown that into the mix. I desperately smoke cannabis to try and elevate myself again. I sat amongst tree roots as the effects creeped back in with the generous application of that cannabis. They enclosed me, embraced me, then choked and entombed me, the full moon inundating the night with a shower of silvery light that imparted the world with an eerie metallic glow, a glow that chewed away at my cognitively mangled form. As nice as the cannabis was, I suddenly found myself extremely thirsty.
Reaching a place where I could obtain water was a long and arduous walk on a warm night, the stresses of which imparted me with an even deeper sense of creeping sobriety. I was able to stop in a 24 hour convenience store (It was about 2 AM now) and was lucid enough to buy several bottles. Why I didn’t just fill a free cup is beyond me. The auditory effects are only barely noticeable now.

T8:00- I finally journey out to the bridge, mostly feeling dazed and tired. Further application of cannabis plunges my head back beneath the water. Truly I am nothing but a hedonist, greedily hunting for memories and experiences and ravenously devouring them. They pass through my drug infested gullet, mangled and deconstructed into their raw essences, the only thing that can be distilled from the mnemonic fog of this obscured mind. The skyline is beautiful, the lights dance on the reflection of the water, everything is still pulsing and flashing and my body still feels as though I am levitating above the bench I am sitting on. It is as if I a tuning into a great deep bass note thrumming at the heart of all of these lights and buildings, of the latent fury of the potential energy of so much constructed against the will of nature. I am truly alone in this tempestuous virtual world, entirely in the present and sequestered from all that came before and all that came after me, sequestered from all that exists around me except as pure sensory perception. It was so still around me, I felt like the only thing moving through a frozen world.
I eventually decide I should get some sleep and make the trek home, catching a bus that shortens what would otherwise be a very taxing walk. At this point, despite all of my attempts to fight it, the etizolam and the vestiges of the 3-MeO-PCP have taken their place at the forefront of my mind, fogging my memory. I remember very little of the bus ride home, other than everyone on it seemed to be asleep or on the verge of falling asleep. Illuminated by several incompetent and flickering fluorescent lights, it was such a dim and quiet and starkly tranquil yet unnerving space. The auditory effects are certainly gone by now.

T9:00- I finally arrive home. It’s comfortable and I am still catching visuals according to my notes but my memory of this is faint. They are described as bright feathery flashes and radiating feathers on the whitespace of my computer screen. Alternatively they are coralline, iridescent, the playful manifestation of the afterglow, the fireflies at dusk after a full summer day. I dosed more etizolam, ~1 mg, showered, smoked some more, and passed out, getting a long and restful sleep.