Age: 25
Weight: 130 lbs
Dosage:
18 mg oral in gel cap
Setting:
My house
T0:00-
Dose taken. I am in a house surrounded by expansive fields, pine forests, and
old ramshackle farm buildings in the Southeastern U.S. It is a hot late summer
day, the sun beats down from a blue sky.
T0:30-
No discernible effects yet.
T0:43-
A bit of jitteriness and discomfort but this may be placebo.
T0:47-
It makes its presence definite with noticeable stomach discomfort accompanied
with a sense of foreboding. There is a certain stimulation and weight in my
extremities.
T1:00-
I feel a bit nauseous. Waves of unease begin to pass through me, gentle with
frayed gradient edges. It is not unease in a strictly negative sense- rather it
is pulses of offset, a reality shifted just slightly askew from ours, a
sensation that would be intrinsically disturbing in the body of any person. I
step out back for one hit of cannabis just to manage the nausea. Bathed in full
sun it feels like something is rising through me, a tension that gradually dissipates
as it travels. My jaw is clenching. I test the visuals out by gazing upon the
expanses of grass and fallow- it appears as though heatwaves are running over
everything despite the cool verdant ground, and there is a definite increase in
visual snow.
I
step back inside back into the air conditioning. The change of setting, from
the sensory load of the sun and sky and all the birds and insects singing and
the breeze blowing through the distant trees and brush, to the muted interior
of my house with the lights off, is disorienting. It feels like my mind is
still running on the sensations of outside, vigilant and ready to pick up an
overload of stimulus, which it is entirely unable to find. I chew some gum to
mute the bruxism and lie on my bed. I find it difficult to find a comfortable
position to lie in- there is a buzzing in all of my joints, a nervous
twitching, nothing feels quite good or comfortable. When I close my eyes it is
like gazing into a black hole, an immense void that comes away at its edges.
I
decide to watch King of the Hill- the episode I watch is sweet and
heartwarming, emotionally resonant and cleverly written. It’s hard to focus but
when I can I feel more engaged than I normally do watching this show. It feels
as though a certain significance can be ascribed to what I’ve just seen even
though it probably isn’t there.
T1:30-
It for the most part feels like a strong and odd stimulant, my heart is racing
and my limbs shaking. I feel short of breath with a slight chest tightness-
very typical stimulant effects for me. I am also swallowing a lot more than
usual. Visually there are slight distortions, it looks like there’s a blizzard
of barely discernible particles blowing across my field of vision at all times,
leaving dully colored tracers when I move my eyes. The lower corners of the
walls are pulsing with faint and quivering pools of muted color. I've settled
into the twisting discomfort more and more, it begins to feel more normal and
natural. It feels nice to adapt to it.
T1:40-
Jitters upon jitters, my mind is running around chasing everything it can but
not seeing anything through. It feels like a fierce wind passing over the upper
strata of a landscape, just barely scraping the precipices of every towering
structure, grazing their apices but failing to feel around them in their
entirety, failing to seep into their depths and gingerly trace the curves and
crevices of the ground. I keep thinking of things I should be doing but get
overwhelmed and don't do anything at all.
I
feel nauseous and lightheaded and my walk cycle feels disjoint. My thoughts are
straying from one thing to the next- what I’m going to do the rest of the day,
some stuff about friends and relationships, how distinctly stagnant I’ve felt
all weekend, all over the place. There are little twitches in my muscles. The
nausea wells up again. I feel like I should get up and go for a walk to shake
some of the restlessness out of my limbs.
T2:14-
Went for a little walk around the old barn and the silos and smoked a little
and looked for bugs. The sun was so hot and the sky was so blue, I found myself
lost in thought a lot, and ended up aimlessly wandering in one direction or the
other, it was a good way to let go of
excess stimulant energy. It’s so lovely being outside, the sky is so big, so
blue, I want to dive into its depths. Being here feels so gentle and sweet, the
vibrancy of life is like a frosty iced tea in the sweltering afternoon. I sit
on my back porch for a bit and look into the great blue above, visuals
presenting as drops of pulsing ripples.
T2:50-
Stopped inside for some water before heading back out and playing with a
projectile launcher, firing off small pellets into the woods. I felt very
grounded and in the present with the bright sun chasing away most of the drug’s
effects. There is something rising and creeping through me though it is less
discernible.
I
come back inside and I am definitely feeling it less than I was before. There
is still a sense of restlessness and breathlessness.
T3:10-
Certainly on the downturn, the experience gradually recedes without issue. For
now at least.
T3:20-
Feeling slower, the residual stimulating is evaporating off my body. The
letters on my screen flash a bit, something is still definitely going on but
its barely discernible.
T3:40-
I am feeling more attentive to things, feeling like I am drawn deeper into
whatever I engage with, in stark contrast with before when I could only skirt
from the shallow fringes of one thought to another. I engage in media and
thoughts and emotions with emotional depth, as if my mind is enveloping them
like an amoeba, its pseudopods meticulously feeling every inch and taking in
every bit of electric information.
T4:30-
I step outside and smoke another little hit of weed. Sitting on my porch and
gazing into the distant stands of pine trees in the light of the golden hour
was titanically beautiful. They towered over the landscape, growing ever
upwards and outwards, aiming for the heavens as the great sturdy oak directly
in front of me, draped in epiphytes, aimed to be heavy and stout. So much life
was around me- swarms of great darner dragonflies picking off the multitude of
other flying insects for an early dinner, the perpetual songs of the katydids
and crickets and meadow katydids and buzzing cicadas, the birds circling and
flitting above, twittering as they fly, grasshoppers and velvet ant wasps
playing to and fro above the ground. The grass, sheared around me and turning
to dense thickets of fallow in the near distance, the skyrocketing pillars of the
treeline exploding into cascades of green, the lichens and ferns and mosses and
fungus and ivy embracing the branches of the hardwoods, all of it perpetually
growing, breathing, respiring and bathing in the golden sun. I love to see so
much life, I love to see so much struggling with and against each other, a
tangled dense web of interactions, of which I am but one more component. I was
just another heartbeat, another mass of cells running a million chemical
reactions at once, the same as all the other around me, the same processes as
the plants, their vacuoles thick with water, the same heartbeat as the birds in
the branches and the little rodents hiding in the field. Another source of
carbon dioxide and evaporated moisture. It was a lovely sense of unity, my
heart was filled with love and all I could do was smile and bask in it. This
sensation snuck up on me, washed over me, inundated me, it was absolutely
sublime.
T4:55-
I eventually go back in and wrap myself in my covers on my soft bed. I am
texting with my partner who is far away, and also a close friend I have an
intimate relationship with, also very far away. All I want is to nuzzle up and
cuddle up with a person or something living, large and warm and soft. I feel
lonely, but not the tragic self pitying loneliness, rather a yearning borne
from circumstance. There are tears in my eyes imagining how pleasant another
person’s touch would be right now. It’s okay though. The substance largely
feels like it has disappeared from me, with a few embers still burning on my
emotional ganglia.
T5:30-
There is a sudden upwelling of stimulation and unease, like a steady tension
pulling through my body. It is odd that it seems to have come back to me in the
later hours of the experience. There is marked music appreciation, everything
sounds so inherently pleasant and emotionally resonant. It reminds me of when I
first began getting real into psychedelics, how I would go to parties
absolutely tripping face and listen to wonderful emotional punk music that despite
being very corny still tugs at my heart strings to this day, it’s a similar
feeling of nostalgia, empathy in reaction to untethered emotional expression. I
just want to sit and listen forever.
T6:00-
A strong visual snow and static persists. The drug fills me with a sense of
longing and loneliness again, another wave of yearning, I just want to lie in
bed and cry and listen to music. I miss cuddling with people, I feel a bit
emotionally raw, like I would collapse into sorrow at the slightest negative
touch or if I were to witness something terrible happen to someone. It’s as if
every protective layer around my emotions has been sanded away. I toss and turn
in bed and nuzzle with my blankets and listen to music. Despite the rawness
this is very pleasant, it feels cathartic and gentle. It feels like I needed
this, yet it also feels a bit alien and out of place. But I have no choice but
to accept the sensation and roll with it, and it feels good to do so.
My
roommates are hanging out and having a bonfire. I don't really feel eager to
interact with anyone though, or at least I would rather just be alone with
someone I knew well and trusted right now. I have only been living here for a
few weeks after all.
T6:40-
The rawness and disquieting sensations have mostly entirely passed by now. I
begin to just feel normal, if slightly rattled and off kilter. I smoke some
more weed and it fails to stir the dust much, making me just feel stoned. This
signals that it truly has receded for good. I end up going outside to hang out
around the fire.
T7:00-
I would say I’m entirely back to baseline by now.
Conclusion:
I typically do not find myself drawn to the 5-MeO tryptamines, though they have
plenty of merit. Across the board they seem to offer a truly unique psychedelic
experience, abstract and capricious,
with a notable physical aspect that is either highly pleasurable or extremely
uncomfortable. The DPT series of compounds meanwhile is also quite capricious,
alien and intense and at times quite punishing. I came into this experience
expecting a burdensome trial but was pleasantly surprised by both the
gentleness and emotional depth this compound presented. The timeline was
peculiar-the initial peak was for the most part just stimulation, as though I
had consumed an odd stimulant that passed through me in offset waves. It was
past these peak effects however, almost 5 hours in, that the compound really
truly shined, lending a beautiful emotional rawness that enhanced just about
every sensory experience I encountered with a deep empathetic resonance, from
gazing out upon nature, to talking to friends, to listening to music. The
initial pulses of discomfort gave way to a generally pleasurable and gentle
body feel that would be excellent for cuddling up to a loved one. I was overall
pleasantly surprised by this compound and at this dose the toxic side effects
were restrained enough that I would feel comfortable doing further trials with
higher doses. It seems this may have unknown depths to offer.
