O-PCP

                                       

Age: 30

Weight: 150 lbs

Dosage: 175 mg intransal

Setting: At home. Late at night.

 

[NOTE: This is an extremely large dose! Don’t do this! The purpose of this report was to induce an intense experience to analyze the full character of the drug. Casual recreational use should not seek to replicate this. For dosage guidelines for this compound I would recommend people start in the 10-20 mg range, as it is certainly active down there. There is a long plateau on its effects past that, but an experience similar to mine would probably manifest around 80-100mg for a dissociative naïve user.]

 

They said it couldn’t be done. O-PCP was always a fantasized about compound- a pretty obvious design, mixing and matching components from some of the most popular dissociatives out there. In the lab where I had worked it had been a fabled puzzle, a tricky and fickle synthesis condemned to forever be a backburner project. It’s first official appearance was on a patent by Gilgamesh pharmaceuticals, as part of their vast swath of 2’-Oxo-Arylcyclohexylamines. We struggled with synthesizing but my colleague devised a new route (publishing pending) and successfully made it after some trial and error!

Enter 2025- It is being offered from one of the world’s most prominent ACH labs. I do not know their synthetic route but they seem to have locked down a process to produce it in great bulk. The miracles of modern science and engineering! The batch that entered the world curiously and unfortunately took on a contaminant that made it smell and taste exactly like garlic powder. Running NMR, I was never able to puzzle out the specific contaminant. It was suspected DMSO but there wasn’t any noticeable contamination from that. The lab lost access to GCMS so I wasn’t able to try and puzzle it out that way. A shame. But O-PCP does not inherently have a garlicy odor, a reference sample my colleague synthesized and tested as analytically pure did not bear it. Recrystallizing in ethanol did largely remove the odor.

Garlic flavors aside, this is a very odd compound. I would liken it most to MXPr- fairly lackluster on its own but it really shines in combination with other compounds. I would define it primarily by stillness- it is a static dissociation, most it does is rain dissociative energy down around oneself in a perfect square at a steady rate, every drop falling at a perfect 90 degree angle to the floor. Alone, it is a dull, metallic, front of the head sort of dissociation, something there but a hint of something more to come out later, but then it never comes. I can feel it a bit in my extremities, I can feel it in my heavy and disproportionate head, but there is no rush or compulsion after that. This drug does not lend itself to rushes or compulsions, not to desires to drives. It just sits there, perfectly still, legs crossed. Perhaps a little bit of mania is flitting through my mind at this time too.

When combined however, it glows and blossoms and comes alive, a golden warm flower that latches on to any experience to offer a rich, heavy, bright, energetic, vibrant dissociation- a veritable rainbow furnace of warm burning gravitous energy. It adds a pleasant meldable depth to anything else- opioids, alcohol, benzos, other GABAergics- but particularly gabapentanoids (pregabalin, gabapentin) and other dissociatives. This is an excellent mixer drug if you want a cynical swirling sweeping dancing confident bright gold edge mixed into an experience with appreciable dissociative heft and floppy pleasurable weight. It’s a pleasant and unique body feel all around.

Sorry it took me so long to report on this one, it’s been around since June. It was really hard to lock down its exact nature and it took a lot of trials to reach a point where I could confidently summarize it and address its multitudes. A lot of people have written this one off as being boring or unfulfilling but I think there is a ton of depth to it if used properly.

This report covers an experience with an extremely high dose that is modulated by cannabis. This one is also interesting in that it can present noticeable effects as low as 10-20 mg for some users. It can be pushed upwards pretty far and seems to plateau out after a point in big doses. A 10-50 mg dose is a pleasant warm stimulating threshold with a bit of mania. The 50-120 mg dose range feels generally the same with the qualities described in this report. Beyond that it can be more intense and unique. These doses must also account for my tolerance. The disclaimer in the beginning has my notes on how one should navigate that.

 

T0:00- dose taken, stings a little, smells strongly of garlic powder. Literal garlic powder.

 

T0:10- Feels like my head is inflating.

 

T0:15- Feeling more and more lightheaded, my head is simultaneously heavy and floaty like it is being inflated, a bit of a stimulating rushing undercurrent. Sensations are mostly focused on my forehead above my eyes and behind my eyes. Sounds seem more staccato and abrasive and jarring. Head feels heavy. I am watching king of the hill with my spouse and reading about paint samples online. There is a little bit of a manic and curious push that makes me want to read all of these mundane things. My spouse notes I am slurring my speech and walking less steadily on my feet.

 

T0:45- I am alone now. The same sorts of dissociation have been building, I am being cushioned on all sides by walls of static. I don’t feel a compulsion towards any particular activity. I am still mostly functional, I can read and type and get up and drink water. It’s a weird buzzing in the background.

 

T1:23- There is a heavy dissociation focused on my head, with my body mostly an afterthought. I still retain full motor skills. It still just feels dull and distant. There’s something there but it feels caged in and desaturated. I know how I can unleash the beast, so to speak- I take a large hit of cannabis from my gravity bong.

After returning  to my room, the gears begin to turn into overdrive. I feel my fingertips going completely numb, one joint at a time, each knuckle glowing standing hot bright white and then blipping out to a still numbness. The open eyed visuals pulse breaking the world into a mosaic of interlocking cells- every object in my surroundings collapses and is divided into a various rectangular zones defined along lines of contrast, that pulse with golden and orange metallic flashes. These are all arranged and interlocked and encapsulating my field of vision, it is almost a vision with compound eyes, each cell a still, solid rectangle. The borders of these cells flow with gold and raspberry twine colors. Bright and energetic. Everything is drifting. Everything is adorned in gold, I am a stoic and still King Midas, gilding the spaces before me.

I seek to enter a hole, I plug in my headphones and listen to some chiptune- Supergalactic by IAYD. Lots of satisfying beeps and bops to play off the golden reflected light. I lay down on my couch and can feel my body go numb, turn to metal with chipped red paint, and lay still, and still and still.

The hole was beautiful, it was smooth, everything felt metallic tinged and there were neon pulses of every warm color, particularly those oranges and deep golden yellows. One notable thing though was there was no motion- many times in a hole with music as a synesthetic experience, I can feel sensations of my body being pushed, pulled, flipped, floated, spun etc; in response to these internal hallucinated projections. There was no such feeling with this one. I was a still body. I didn’t feel my body, I had no proprioception, but everything was still. I was just bathing in a pool of liquid gold, the surface a mirror pulled taught by immense surface tension that threatens to crack at any moment, sending off golden fireworks to the sky. There were no compulsions in virtual motion in this space, there were no pull or directions or flights, no push or pulse, just me, still, the inner world of the hole happening around me. It was bizarre to feel after a point. It is a golden lazy river.

I am fully lucid and able to think clearly. The headspace is one of energized mania. As the gilded scenes dance around me I am fantasizing, I am fantasizing about the impact of my life, about how many people I have affected over my life, over how I would navigate what feels like in inevitable confrontation with the forces of the state. It’s all very solipsistic and self indulgent. And even in its intensity it is still and muted, it’s a mania for brainstorming, not a mania for acting. I don’t feel any compulsion to engage in any activity or pursue any fantasy from my thoughts racing meditation session.

 

T2:00- The heavy physicality is starting to wear off at this point. I right myself and just engage in reading stuff on my computer. I am reading about George Stellar and his great cold northern expedition. I feel a lot of manic energy, but it is just searing in my head, it is not like so many of my familiar 3-MeO-substituted arylcyclohexylamines where the manic push runs downs my nerves and my bones- here it is just confined to my head, confined to my forehead and behind my eyes. Running in circles confined to a pen. The rest of the body is still, dead still and quiet.

There are still bright golden and orange visuals pulsing in cellular patterns as they were before. Everything is quiet and lingering. It’s all neutral. There’s no drive to do or pursue anything, I am blank. No motion, no compulsions.

 

T2:10- Reading about Slavic paganism, reading was difficult before when I was coming up, it’s all more coherent now. Typical manic dissociative comedown reading focus and intense curiosity and association.

 

T2:20- Extremities still almost completely numb, still a tightness around my forehead, but otherwise I feel mostly normal. Not particularly manic or stimulated anymore, just kinda there. I am tired and bored.

 

T2:40- Pretty steadily coming down. Physical sensations are fading.

 

T3:00- A bit of lingering stiffness behind my eyes. Maybe a little bit of stimulation.

 

T4:00- Back to baseline. Go to sleep.

 

Conclusion: O-PCP is, at reasonable doses, very boring on its own. It reminds me of MXPr in that regard. It sits in the background, it doesn’t assert itself. It needs friends to be brought out of its shell. I have loved this drug purely as a mixer. It mixes beautifully with pregabalin. It mixes beautifully with manic stimulating dissociatives. It blends wonderfully with ketamine. It’s cozy with Carisoprodol or some oxys. Use it like a spice, to add heaviness and warm bright visuals to an experience. There is a gently flowing motion of it like a lazy river adorned with ornate golden floats that can seep into other experiences. It’s good for just sitting still. I like it for playing strategy games, it makes me feel more immersed. It might not be the most dancey but one can always try. It is a really odd and very unique compound that has little of its own definition, but a lot of heft when combined with other things.

FXiPr

FXiPr

Age: 30

Weight: 145 lbs

Dosage: 450 mg intransal

Setting: At home. Late at night.

 

[NOTE: This is an extremely large dose for most people, intended for an intense experience with an unfortunate hard tolerance. Tolerance for this one builds in a unique way, which is detailed below. For the normal dissociative user, I would suggest starting at 80-100 mg. An intense hole experience like this would probably come about at 150-175 mg. However, for dosing advice I would strongly suggest cross referencing this report with other reports that have been shared online]

 

As usual, feel free to skip the intro, its pharmacology and chem jargon mostly.

 

Preface; FXiPr, or 2-FXiPr, or 2-F-2’-Oxo-PCiPr, comes to us as a natural progression of arylcyclohexylamine development. We have 2-FXE, exploring halogenated alternatives to MXE. We have MXiPr, playing on the MXE theme with a different amine. A simple mix and match of those two paths that have been explored and behold- FXiPr.

A note on nomenclature- I was of course wary of the identity of this compound after the 2-FXE naming fiasco- for those unfamiliar, 2-FXE was initially sold as 3-F-2’-Oxo-PCE, a fluorine on the 3 position. It wasn’t until later lab analysis that it was found that all of the 2-FXE being sold was 2-F-2’-Oxo-PCE- the fluorine was on the 2 position instead of the 3! Seems like a minor difference but that small modification greatly affects potency and duration. FXiPr when sold was clearly advertised as the 2-position isomer, which was nice to see. I ran 1H nmr on the FXiPr to confirm this, and it indeed was the 2-position isomer. (compare to this sample of 2F-DCK). Now, in the past I have advocated for “2-FXE” to be called 2-2-FXE, for clarity, and this should similarly be referred to as 2-FXiPr. So why am I saying 2-2-FXE in this report and not 2-FXiPr? It is mostly for accessibility, as people searching for information on this new drug will not be searching 2-FXiPr, I want this information to be easy to find! And while a 3-2-FXE was initially alleged to exist (and did exist briefly!), there is no counterpart to FXiPr, so for now, despite how it hurts my pedant heart, I am not making the distinction.

This compound is nice because it fits pretty neatly into the expected structure activity relations. It very cleanly follows the expected pattern-So first lets just say MXiPr is analogous to MXE in the sense that FXiPr is analogous to 2-FXE. Whereas MXiPr is less potent than MXE, FXiPr is indeed magnitudes less potent than 2-FXE. Whereas MXiPr is heavier, more sedating than MXE (In my experience), FXiPr is heavier and more sedating than 2-FXE. It fits neatly into the whole class of compounds and behaves exactly as expected. Sometimes these patterns are very simple!

I have to confess this report is tarnished by my ever growing tolerance. I take an immense dose that most casual users should not attempt. Despite my tolerance though, this is not a potent drug no matter how you slice it. It has a potency similar to ketamine, perhaps even less so, but it's hard to comment on that with my tolerance. I was initially irked at the impotency of this drug, but when I accepted that I had to just chuff a hell of a lot of powder, I came to like it, it has a deep positive euphoric character, it is bereft with sensations of ocean waves and glowing and pulsing energies. The hole is deep and elaborate. The comedown is lucid and pleasant. An enjoyable mania pervades the rush of the comeup and the long steady comedown- it is mostly consumed by the heavy intensity of the peak of the experience and tends to recede then. This is a wonderful drug, it perhaps just suffers from impotency. Happens to the best of us.

The duration is short overall, it is certainly something suitable for casual use and fits a role similar to ketamine- a fairly low commitment experience that is so impotent and forgiving with dosages that it can lend enhancement to a wide variety of settings. It is of course more bright, visual, interesting and engaging than ketamine, with a manic edge on the comeup and comedown of the experience. Those not used to manic dissociatives would do well to be wary of that aspect of the trip.

This compound has uniquely built tolerance unlike any I have taken. My first trials were sub 100 mg doses with notable effects. With frequent use though, it quickly cracked apart, to the point where I found a threshold at 150 mg, desired effects around 300 mg. A lot of powder. I have never used a dissociative where the tolerance built that quickly. Maybe this is just a concern for the frequent disso users. A more casual user probably doesn’t have to worry about this.

 

 

T0:00– Dose snorted. Had to crush up big solid crystals. It smells like burnt rubber. There is a brief pleasurable sting that quickly fades. It goes down easy for the amount of powder.

 

T0:10- Feeling a bit of lightness and vibration in my limbs. It feels like heat is rising,

 

T0:15- It suddenly accelerates. It buzzes into my limbs and extremities with force, bands of buzzing static being fired down my arms; It’s an electric numbness, sizzling on my knuckles. I feel floppy and light, like there is wind behind each movement. I feel a little mentally activated and stimulated. I start replying to a lot of texts I was putting off. I am sociable and eager to talk to people, there is an edge of mania to it. It feels like a waterfall rushing upwards. My head is buzzing and vibrating. I feel stimulated to read and engage with things, I am reading about the Hell Creek Formation, where so many dinosaur fossils have been found.

 

T0:20- I lie down on my bed, It feels like I am an oil slick on the surface of an undulating ocean. Steady waves of motion pulse through my body and I just lie there and accept it. I feel soft, I feel like I am encapsulated in perfectly cubed pillows, in several segments conforming all around me and pressing into me in perfect order. There are light open eye visuals of pulsing columns and stripes running down my walls, conveyers of glowing glass bricks methodically ticking up and down the right angles in my vision, I am floaty, I am heavy at once too. It is deep deep dissociation and I am being tossed and twisted on its pastel waves.

 

T0:30- I feel so heavy I feel like sagging clay, I feel like my head is filled with neon basaltic columns, steady and sturdy and orderly. It feels like a heavy sinking wind is pulling my extremities away. I am so numb it is so soft, and yet among this, I am lucid, I can think, enunciate, articulate. With my eyes open my entire field of vision is just flashing, pulsing, flowing and drifting, the pulses travel through the mass of the room and chunk themselves into me, pushing and pulsing through my body as ballooning bolstering waves.

 

T0:50- I have enough motor control to get up, go to the basement, and take a massive bong rip. It’s time to see the depths of this compound. I turn out the lights and put in headphones and run Asobi Seksu’s self titled album, a wondrous wall of shoegaze and dreampop. The hole is active and synesthetic, globular and vast and round, and very blocky, there is a constant pixel and voxel quality to a lot of the visuals. As the music progresses my hole avatar is pulled and contorted and cushioned and blasted with glorious light. Felted wings pulse from my back at points, I turn and spin in giant golden gyroscopes; I am at times separated into segments and stretched into impossible lengths. It is a joyous ride. Color and vision, bound by motifs of blocks, interlocking, stacking, colliding at perfect ratios- predominant themes of segments per geometry formed of stained glass windows. The hole was not much motion, more of an environment transforming and adjusting around me, all in such perfect mathematical order, invoking the glory of gods sun light through the colored windows of cathedrals, prismatic and angular and all fit perfectly together in tessellation. Odd enough in this hole I still get jolts of my body interjecting- an itch on a mosquito bite; a sting on a cut; reality can still pierce through. Indeed I was not the blank confused mind surrendering to the sensory experience of the hole (or lack thereof), throughout much of the experience my mind was engaged with thoughts of my real waking life.

 

T1:30- I come out of the hole. I don’t find myself sitting in an empty daze like often happens, I am immediately functional and able to move around and engage with my surroundings. My field of vision is still pulsing and flashing. The same interlocking regular patterns of visuals still adorn my walls, in magenta and turquoise. I feel soothed and relaxed, though a driven mania similar to that of the comeup has arisen again and is rushing into me. I am now just sitting in the dark, downloading music for my library, reading about it, comfortable in the dark in the glow of my laptop

 

T2:00- The experience is turning down. I am distractable and find myself deeply engrossed in whatever task I engage in, though the task also quickly shifts to another when something catches my curiosity. I am exploring random bits of the vast unpopulated areas of the American west on google maps. It is an immersive activity that would probably be more fun if I was deeper into the experience, but there is a lingering stimulation that keeps me engaged. I still feel a little numb in the fingers and a bit dizzy and lightheaded, but my fine motor skills are intact enough to use a computer. The heavier sense of dissociation and confusion has faded though. Colorful visuals still dance across my surroundings but they are certainly becoming more faint.

 

T3:30- Mostly down. Fee a bit dazed, there is a bit of lingering stimulation but it is subtle and manageable.

 

T4:00- Back to baseline.

 

Epilogue- I have a nice glow for the next day. I am in a pleasant mood despite a spate of intense depressive episodes over the last month. Perhaps this is the lingering antidepressant effect of dissociatives that I found has often eluded me.

 

Conclusion: God I wish this stuff was more potent. I really was disappointed with my initial trials, but more dedicated use with the acceptance of having to take absolutely ludicrous doses has warmed me up to this. It is extremely similar to 2-FXE and MXiPr, for those familiar with them. It is generally heavier, less stimulating, and has a shorter duration. It is colorful and fairly visual, with a varied and diverse hole experience. It is heavy and soothing and warm. It is something quite suited to casual use, perhaps for fans of ketamine that want a little something more out of the experience.

 

 

MXPCP

Age: 30

Weight: 140 lbs

Dosage: 170 mg intransal

Setting: At home by myself. In a good mood.

 

[Please note: I have developed a dissociative tolerance and I also prefer strong experiences. This is a massive dose for a normal person. For someone without a tolerance I would suggest starting at 25 mg for this compound. An substantial experience for most would be found around 60-80 mg. An experience similar to mine would probably be found around 120 mg]

 

2025 has seen an explosion of development in the realm of 2’-Oxo arylcyclohexylamines, notably with O-PCPr and O-PCP (report pending). I am not sure what has stoked this flourishing of compound development but I will say that I am pleased to see it. MXPCP (frustratingly originally named MXP, which is already in use) comes in with 2 modifications that are tried and true- the 3-Methoxy substitution that has given us so many fruitful compounds like 3-MeO-PCP (or MXE) and the N-piperidine, for PCP. Unlike O-PCP, this has never been synthesized before or tested in any context, though it has often been theorized about. Since the synthesis of 2’-oxo substituted PCP compounds was cracked it was really only a matter of time before that was mixed and matched with some of the winning phenyl substitutions. I was nonetheless surprised to see this- just looking at the molecule there is an apparent potential issue with sterics as far as these large substitutions are concerned- O-PCP was already a challenge with synthesis that was miraculously solved- strapping even more onto that molecule that could bump into those two existing groups seemed like a fantasy but it appears to have played out right before our eyes! This opens the door to so much development, ideas that I’m sure are already on deck for the labs producing these- 2-F-2’-Oxo-PCP, 2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCP, 3-F-2’-Oxo-PCP, and 3-Me-2’-Oxo-PCP are all things we can expect on the horizon as the market optimizes itself along the lines of observed in vivo SAR. As we’ve never had a 2’-oxo phenyl substituted PCP compound before, this is literally illuminating a new area of the map for structure activity relations. It is a relation of modifications we really have never seen before but it shows promise for development of other compounds in a similar direction!

In terms of effects, this is perhaps the ultimate party drug. There is an appreciable initial rush with a lot of energy and stimulation but still a bit of that 2’-Oxo dissociative heaviness like ketamine that makes it feel floppy and fun to dance. There’s an electric tension and energy that pulses through my veins, there is almost a sense that I am projecting into an glowing avatar of myself that can function and navigate the world as an idol of pleasure and energy and hedony. There is an urgent euphoria that wants to explode out onto the rest of the world, the kind that would delight in loud noises and bright flashes. This drug is felt through the body as pulses, raging ripples of light that crackle with synesthesia- I haven’t experienced it in the context of being battered by high intensity sound waves but I can imagine they would harmonize perfectly. Most users will find a pleasant short lasting heavy dissociative stimulation at 20-30 mg. Turning the dose up increases the “heaviness” but only to a point- after about 80 mg or so (~100 mg for me) the only quality that increases is the stimulation, tension, and mania. The rush is intense with every redose. I chased this one to a high dose in search of a hole but it doesn’t seem possible with this compound- as stated before the heaviness and depth plateaus out and only the stimulation increases after a point. It doesn’t have any kind of insightful or introspective headspace in the lingering comedown like most manic dissociatives though, it is rather shallow in that regard. Not the sort of compound for late night solitary meditation or meaningful introspection. But it has its place as something fun for settings where not much thinking is required- a perfect “shut up and dance” drug in my opinion.

 

T0:00- Small crystals are easily crushed into a fine powder. Dose administered intranasally. Stings a little but it’s completely manageable. Powdery bitter taste.

 

T0:15- Onset, feeling a little lightheaded.

 

T0:20- The lightheadedness increases, feeling a bit more jittery and tense.

 

T0:25- The dizzying rush hits harder and harder. I am feeling more uncoordinated in my extremities. An intense stimulation is coming in under everything, chasing through my limbs and to my fingertips.

 

T0:30- It’s accelerating now, in a way that makes me grip my knuckles with wind whipping through my hair. This is a tight, tense dissociation, like my essence is being pulled and stretched taught from the back of my skull, leaving my fingers to tap my keyboard in staccato plunges; like I am being constricted and pulled tight but with this rush of pleasure like a tightly braided riffle in a rapid clear steam. My fingertips feel cold and numb, yet a pervasive electric warmth radiates through my body. If I don’t give them my attention, my extremities all but fall away into a buzzing dissociative void like a leaf being torn away by a current.

I have been watching various YouTube videos- first person combat footage, playthroughs of boss fights from games I will never play- I am drawn to the rapidity and flash of the content but little else beyond it. My brain is mostly lucid but now shocked into a state of seeking things purely at the level of the sensory stimulation they provide. It is becoming harder to read the words on my screen, my visual field is being split in two, blurring everything as faint visuals begin to stream in from the sides as tightly binding ribbons of flashing small concentric patterns.

 

T0:40 – What a rush! I feel chills running down my limbs pulling me taut. Pleasurable shocks of electric streamers buzzing down the bones and nerves of my limbs. I smoke some cannabis. This odd interplay of hot and cold is rushing and swirling together to increasingly greater heights- it will  be a chill down my spine and across my ribs like the electric arcs of a Jacob’s ladder, the cold numbness in my extremities like I have been holding my hands and feet in the rush of a cold mountain stream, but a definite warmth crawling over my vertebrae like the long tongues of flames licking and tracing their way up the limbs of a tree they want to consume to white caustic ash. My muscles feel sprung back and ready to launch. How I would love to just get up and dance right now! The visuals increase in depth and contrast, in rusty colors of red and orange, bright and tense and roaring across my visual field like clattering subway cars, tracing the forms of any stark lines or bars I see in my vision.  A dissociative sinking heaviness has set in too, a pouring, rushing, draining from the top of my skull down across the rest of me. There is also a heavy numbness and floppiness to this.

I feel driven, but it is quite unlike the drive and stimulation I feel from other manic dissociatives. I am shocked to realize my heart is beating only a bit faster than normal, not pounding at my ribcage as I had suspected. It feels like I am crashing over into the realm of explosive anticipation and excitement and it is curious to me that my body has not objectively come to meet that sensation.

There are pushes of mania here in a purely social sense as in “I should talk to xyz person, right here, right now” but little actual compulsion towards anything meaningful to say or share. It is like the energy of mania without any of the underlying drive of self-actualization, a façade of the manic state without the structure- empty boxcars just raging endlessly forward with all the clatter and decorum but hardly even a vagabond oogle camped out within. For most other substances I would consider manic, there is a drive to generate and pursue ideas, ideas that feel deeply fundamentally correct without any real basis. Here, there is that same sense of drive, just without the ideas or schemes for that drive to latch onto. All the trappings and signifiers and emblems of the manic state without the actual force and direction. But this is pleasant still, and that unfocused, un-fleshed out energy can still be directed into physicality, into moving, dancing, into those deeper and primordial fundaments of how a human can expend its respiration, it doesn’t need to be that deep.

 

T1:00- Although I feel so tense and jittery, I try to submit to the experience, because there is certainly some of that dissociative weight present, the kind of heft that would lead me to think there is a hole to be found here. If I sit still I am beset by a numbing heaviness and a drawing away of the physical perception of my limbs that suggests that there is a sort of all-encompassing dissociative hole experience to be found here. I plug in my headphones try to listen to something with high energy that I hope will match the drive of this pulsing raging drug. In this instance it is Femtanyl’s album “Reactor”. I ultimately do not find myself engaged in this space for very long- despite its perceived heaviness, this is not a drug that lends itself to an all-consuming hole. The closed eyed space is bright, taken with the same warm-colored visuals of pulsing and streaming and flashing lines. There is some flowing synesthesia and a sense of blossoming and exponentially growing patterns and forms, but they are 2-dimensional and devoid of fine detail. I am fully aware of my body and its presence with my eyes closed, despite some depletion of sensation, it is hard for me to ignore my bones and the idea that they are real and present and that I am real and present. No fully immersive fantasy to be found here.

I give up and recover and reenter the real world and bask in the heat waves of the continual hot dissociative rush, my vision still ragingly blurry, my body content to be still in the buzzing heft. And indeed if I get up and move I am only slightly uncoordinated, I can still get about without crashing into things or stumbling  around. There is simply too much going  on for me to sink into a hole. At least physically- there is admittedly not much going on in my head, just a blankness reveling in these pulsing rushes. I feel like I am being cooked, something bitter and bright, screaming and raging like a bomb of dissociative pleasure.

 

T1:30- Getting up and moving around makes it feel like I am a projected glowing vitreous avatar of myself- a form that is sexier and more muscular than my own, built of uniformly clear colored glass. A great tense idealized titan that can dance and thrust and punch and beam into the sky without really having to think too much.

There are many dissociatives I would describe as insightful, where I am driven to pursue and consume and process information, as much as possible as quickly as possible. I tend to feel this sensation at the front of my brain with a burning behind my eyes as if they are glowing furnaces ready to take in and metabolize whatever the world around me has to offer. This turns to compulsions to read or learn or engage with media. This normally intertwines perfectly with sensations of mania and stimulated dissociative lucidity. For this compound however, this is oddly absent- the stimulation and energy and drive are there, but there’s no one behind the wheel, no particular compulsion to engage with information, and an odd sort of inhibition in place of lucidity. It feels like an aggressively enforced hollowness, like an eager energetic dog with a completely blank expression.

Visuals still persist strongly as beads and lace strung and cast across my vision.

 

T2:00- Starting to feel a distinct and smooth comedown, with less tension in my limbs and fingers and less of a rushing sensation.

 

T2:40- I play the videogame “Shadow of the Colossus” now and find that there isn’t any degree of inhibition to my fine motor skills or cognitive processing at this point that would interfere with the game. Still a similarly smooth comedown with some tense lightheadedness and lingering stimulation. I am probably lacking something in receiving the brilliant artistry of this game in this state.

 

T3:20- I feed and mist all of my pet arachnids (10 tarantulas, 2 amblypyids, 1 vinegaroon and a jumping spider), a task that also requires some degree of motor skills, and notice no issue or interference at all. Most of the tension has died down, there is just a lingering burning lightheadedness and numbness still.  

 

T4:00- Mostly back to baseline, feeling stimulated and still a little numb in my toes and fingertips.

 

T5:00- Feel entirely back to baseline, try to sleep. Sleep came with difficulty even with my normal prescribed sleeping medications (50 mg trazodone) and I woke up a few times throughout the night too. Felt groggy and fatigued the whole next day.

 

Conclusion: This would make for an excellent party drug, and perhaps not the kind of party where one is having engrossing conversations either, but the kind with bright lights and loud noises and lots of dancing. This drug is highly euphoric with a powerful rush, but most of its properties lie in physicality. It is one of the most physically pleasant dissociatives I have tried and perhaps one of the most hedonistic ones, but it offers little in term of insight or introspection. The short duration and decent potency but forgiving nature in terms of dosing higher all go to serve casual use in the dark. I find it doesn’t really add much when combined with other dissociatives beyond a rush and some visual flare. There is a decent weight to it that makes it floppy and fun to dance with,  but the stimulation doesn’t allow for an all-encompassing hole. Effects plateau out at and higher doses really only increase the stimulation and muscle tension. There is something resembling mania but without any kind of depth or coherency that produces the kind of results that manic states can bring. One can find themselves mostly in control of their body and mind for the most part, though there is a good degree of cognitive inhibition. It is dumb, colorful fun, but a great deal of it at that.

Abelian 2024: An analysis of the structure activity relations of 24 2'-Oxo substituted Arycyclohexylamines (Ketamine, MXE, O-PCE, etc. )

 The full text can be found here:

https://ui.adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/2024PhDT........40A/abstract

 

Tl;dr: We now know how different nitrogen substitutions affect the activity of ketamine and MXE analogues. PCE analogues have the highest affinity, and pairing a 3-Methoxy with the 2’-Oxo substitution also offers us high affinity, so it probably makes sense to continue developing compounds along that pattern (though there really isn’t much left to explore at this point). One really interesting thing that stood out is that an N-cyclobutyl substitution has decently high affinity! This is definitely something that should be explored more.

 

Another fantastic and comprehensive paper has come from a friend and former colleague, the wonderful Dr. Anush Abelian! In her PhD dissertation she sets out to synthesize and analyze a series known as the β-Ketoarylcyclohexylamines- This means arylcyclohexylamines that have the 2’-Oxo group, also labeled as a β-Ketone. This substitution lends unique subjective properties to the dissociative experience- compounds with the β-Ketone often feel heavier, more hole-y and sedating compared to the manic and stimulating phenyl-substituted base arylcyclohexylamines. They tend to be less potent, which makes doses more forgiving for casual use. They tend to have shorter durations. Perhaps the most famous dissociative of all contains the β-Ketone structure: Ketamine, which could also be labeled as 2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCM.

The observation of the unique effects of ketamine inspired further development along the lines of compounds containing both the 2-Oxo substitution paired with various aryl substitutions. In research for example, Sleigh et al. 2015 and Jose et al. 2013 delve into various long reverse ester chains on the secondary amine for very short acting ketamine analogues. Tiletamine, which contains a thiophene instead of a phenyl ring (+ an ethylamine, could be written as 2’-Oxo-ThCE, or ThXE using drug nomenclature), was developed as a veterinary anesthetic.

Primarily though, development of novel compounds and data on the in-vivo activity of these drugs has been driven by the grey area research chemical market and community. Fastanbulbous on Bluelight developed MXE based on hypotheses about SAR and started a revolution with arylcyclohexylamine development. Many compounds followed suit after MXE’s extinction, using the same _X_ naming convention to capitalize on the Hype- like MXM, MXPr, MXiPr, 2-FXE. (Even unrelated diarylethylamines got caught up in the hype: MXP). Others were developed as base β-Ketones with no phenyl substitutions, like DCK and O-PCE, both of which proved to be worthy and interesting compounds. Various analogues directly inspired by ketamine appeared on the market too, like 2-F-DCK, 2-Br-DCK. Needless to say, this is a really exciting area of drug development and there is so much potential for so many unique and interesting compounds!

Dr. Abelian has for the first time done a comparative analysis of an entire series of these compounds, detailing their synthesis, comparing their binding affinities and projected pKa’s and laying out a map for the structure-activity relations of the entire family of compounds along with potential future compounds!

Her findings are multitudinous and the inclusion of more experimental compounds helps expand the potential for future developments.

The following paragraph is all chem synth skip it if that’s not of interest.

The synthesis of each compound is laid out clearly! For the chem folks, it’s a classic modified Calvin Stevens ketamine synthesis with a ring rearrangement starting with a substituted phenylcyclopentyl ketone (Stevens et al 1966). This can be formed from reacting a cyclopentane Grignard with the corresponding benzonitrile. The starting unsubstituted and 2-Cl substituted phenylcyclopentyl ketone were inexpensive and readily available for laboratory purposes (I’ll never forget that odd sickening strong celery smell that seemed impossible to wash off of anything…) so the Grignard step was usually unnecessary. The ketone is then brominated at the α position with aluminum chloride and bromine, which can then be converted into the α-hydroxyketone via reacting it with a strong base. With that, a light-sensitive imine is formed by reacting with the corresponding alkylamine, which then undergoes a rearrangement under microwave radiation, yielding the final β-ketoarylcyclohexylamine. All reactions were done under argon and all products were purified by column, then formed into the HCl salt by the addition of a molar equivalent of HCl. Further purification by recrystallization yielded excellent product! It should be noted that with the 2-Chloro substituted compounds, microwave radiation yielded a highly fluorescent byproduct. In those cases, the bromine intermediate was reacted with 6 equivalences of base to yield the α-2-chlorophenyl-hydroxycyclohexylketone. This was aminated by reacting it with Methanesulfonyl chloride, followed by the corresponding alkylamine. Each compound is extensively analyzed and characterized, which can be used as reference for drug testing programs.

For the pharmacology and structure activity relations nerds, we look at table 3.1, which lays out the binding affinities for the entire series of compounds:

 

 

A lot of really interesting observations we can make from this beautiful data! A lot of patterns we can draw! Let’s look at the different  categories of compounds. Here are the affinities displayed visually with the molecules in order from highest affinity to lowest affinity. It’s important to remember that a lower number signifies higher affinity.

 

But……….
First we gotta talk about nomenclature! We need to lay this out and communicate this clearly!  How we name these things- it's confusing! There’s the scientific way of naming things, and there’s the market way of naming things. As I discuss these compounds I will follow the naming conventions listed below.

 

There is the substituted xCx naming convention for arylcylohexylamines. You list the substitutions, and then the base structure. The first x is the aromatic ring, almost always a phenyl ring, P,  the C is the cyclohexyl ring, the last x denotes the amine, always changing, which is the object of interest here. It yields us things like 3-MeO-PCiPr etc.

 By this scheme ketamine would be listed as 2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCM.

Then MXE came out, everything wanted to be like MXE! Our naming conventions got fucked. Now we use the MXE denotation of MXPr, MXiPr, FXE, DMXE etc. Gotta ride the hype! The way this nomenclature is structured is: 2’-Oxo compounds with a substitution of any kind on the phenyl ring get the xXx label, The first character being the corresponding phenyl substitution, (F for Fluorine in FXE for example, M for 3-Methoxy, DM for methyl (“desoxy”), H for hydroxy (as in HXE); a 3- position substitution is assumed and if that is not the case, the number substitution is affixed to the front, as in 2-FXE), the last character corresponding to the amine. By previous convention, MXE is 3-MeO-2’-Oxo-PCE. The capital X in the middle represents the 2’-Oxo group in this nomenclatural structure.

Lastly, there are the compounds with no aromatic substitutions- the most popular ones are DCK and O-PCE, which seem to follow no rhyme or reason. I hate this shit! We should have a system and a standard. O-PCx. I think this is fine nomenclature. DCK should technically be called O-PCM. But I will use this convention for these compounds, just for ease of writing.

So we end up with these naming schemes. Things have been called names like n-ethylnorketamine which make things more confusing! We just name things in relation to other things. That aforementioned compound is 2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCE! You could call it ClXE (if a chlorine is involved it seems everyone just calls it ketamine!). I think the easiest name for that compound is probably just ethylketamine though. Having 3 different naming schemes depending on the substitutions the drug has is not a good way to do things, it breeds confusion and misunderstanding and obscures the patterns of relations between these compounds. But that is where we are and we’re just kinda stuck with it.

 

Anyways,

 

 

Let’s look at the patterns and structure activity relations!

 

Start with the unsubstituted 2’-Oxo-compounds: These are the ones that can fall under the nomenclature of O-PCx. They have beta ketone on the cyclohexane as ketamine and every compound in this study have. These ones have no substitution on the aromatic ring. These are familiar compounds: DCK, O-PCE. The ones listed in this study are:

O-PCA (2’-Oxo-PCA)

O-PCM (2’-Oxo-PCM, Deschloroketamine, DCK)

O-PCE (2’-Oxo-PCE)

O-PCPr (2’-Oxo-PCPr)

O-PCiPr (2’-Oxo-PCiPr)

O-PCEtOH (2’-Oxo-PCEtOH)

O-PCAl (2’-Oxo-PCAl)

O-PCcP (2’-Oxo-PCcP)

This affords us a really interesting view of the effect of different amines in 2’-Oxo substituted ACH receptor affinity. They are in order of affinity- O-PCE> O-PCiPr>O-PCM> O-PCPr>O-PCAl>O-PCA>O-PCcP>O-PCEtOH- this seems to map pretty predictably and reliably on in-vivo potency and also mostly follow the pattern seen in non 2’-Oxo subbed ACHs: O-PCE is quite potent, O-PCM (DCK) a little less so, and O-PCPr less so than that. One could predict that the potency of O-PCiPr would fall between that of DCK and O-PCPr. The more exotic amine substitutions didn’t show a higher affinity than ketamine, so would expectedly be less potent than it, though this says nothing about the actual qualitative experience. O-PCcP would be pretty impotent though and would require the ingestion of a large amount of powder. O-PCEtOH has such a low affinity one would presume it bordesr on potentially being inactive. However, two active compounds with this substitution have been observed: First with a ketamine analogue (That would be 2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCEtOH) where this compound was actually the most potent of a series of ketamine esters and ethers (Jose et al. 2013). An unsubstituted version of this compound was also allegedly sold on the market and was supposedly active in-vivo though there is no detailed information on the effects (Morris Wallach 2014). It is entirely possible for an arylcyclohexylamine to have very low affinity but still be appreciably active in vivo- this is seen in 3F-PCP, where affinity would indicate it is wholly inactive, when this clearly isn’t the case (Wallach 2014). It appears that there is a sweet spot with the ethylamine for highest affinity, and that affinity is conserved by keeping to roughly that size and shape (hence why isopropyl shows higher affinity than propyl).

 

From there we can compare the next category of compounds- non halogenated phenyl substitutions-The MX style compounds

MXM (3- MeO-2’-Oxo-PCMe)

MXE (3-MeO-2’Oxo-PCE)

MXPr (3-MeO-2’-Oxo-PCPr)

MXiPr (3-MeO-2’-Oxo-PCiPr)

DMXE (3-Me-2’-Oxo-PCE)

DMXM (3-Me-2’-Oxo-PCM)

In order of affinity: MXiPr>MXPr>MXE>MXM>DMXE>DMXM. This is an interesting case in affinity not correlating to in vivo potency- any seasoned dissonaut can tell you that MXPr and MXiPr were not at all more potent than MXE. I cannot begin to imagine what the reason for this discrepancy is, but it’s an important lesson in not really knowing what a drug does until you try it. I am curious if this pattern of affinity just increasing with larger carbon chains on the amine holds true for this particular substitution pattern- does it then hold true for 3-HO substitutions? What about a 3,4-MD substitution? It all remains to be seen. Most of these compounds have been made and tested in people so this data is more just curious for how it doesn’t align with in-vivo activity than predictive or anything.

 

Then we look at the compounds directly adjacent to ketamine. I don’t really know what to call these.

We have:

Norketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCA)

Ketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCM)

Ethylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCE, N-Ethylnorketamine)

Propylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCPr, N-Propylnorketamine)

Cyclopropylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCcP, N-Cyclopropylnorketamine)

Allylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCAl, N-Allylnorketamine)

Cyclobutylketmaine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCcBu, N-Cyclobutylnorketamine)

For these compounds, we have in order of affinity: Ethylketamine> Cyclobutylketamine >Ketamine>Propylketamine> >Norketamine>Allylketamine>Cyclopropylketamine. These compounds seem to follow the pattern laid out by the normal 2’-Oxo substituted compounds. Interestingly it seems at the very least the 2-halogen position doesn’t run into the odd pattern seen with the 3-alkane or alkoxy substituted compounds. I don’t know if this is a function of the 2 position or a function of the substitution being a halogen. Other structures would have to be tested to elucidate any pattern, like a series of 3F or 3Cl substituted compounds, or a series of 2-MeO substituted compounds. Interestingly, cyclobutylketamine has a higher affinity than normal ketamine! I wonder if this property extends to other substitutions with the cyclobutylamine- or why this seems to go against the trend of bulkier chains losing affinity- would be super curious to compare to straight chain butyl or other butylamine isomers, particularly sec-butyl. This shows a lot of promise in developing new compounds with this amine. In correspondence with Dr. Abelian, she suggested this discrepancy is because the binding pose of ketamine at the PCP site within the NMDA channel is unstable, shifting between 2 different conformations that bind to 2 different parts of the binding site (Zhang et al. 2021). It is not yet known what may modulate one conformation over the other or if it’s seemingly totally random, but either way this could potentially result in SAR discrepancies

 

Lastly, there are 3 tertiary amines with 2 alkane chains:

Dimethylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCDMe)

Methylethylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCMeE)

Methylpropylketamine (2-Cl-2’-Oxo-PCMePr)

These in rank order of affinity are Methylethyl>Methylpropyl>Dimethyl. These have not been explored really, it is theorized that aryclcyclohexylamines with tertiary dialkene substitutions are metabolized into 2 sets of the corresponding secondary amines (Cho et al. 1993). It is not known if this is also seen when there are 2’-Oxo substitutions- it is also likely that these compounds are active in their own right when they are not metabolized, though it is possible that the fate of them in vivo is to always be metabolized into those 2 secondary amines.

Is there anything else to look at?

One last pattern to analyze is the relations across the different ring substitutions? We can in 2 cases compare the 2’-Oxo cyclohexane substituted ACH’s across 4 aromatic substitution patterns: Unsubstituted, 3-Methyl, 3-Methoxy, and 2-Chloro. We have this dataset for PCM and PCE. For both compounds, affinity is greatest along the following pattern: Unsubstituted>3-Methoxy>2-Chloro>3-Methyl. I would be curious to see where 3-halogenated substitutions would fall on this pattern- interestingly, 3-Methyl substitutions are higher affinity for non 2’-Oxo substituted ACH’s- they seem to drop off here though. Just goes to show that MXE was a really brilliant design!

 

Conclusion, tl;dr, going forward:
So now we have a really nice map of the structure-activity relations of 2’-Oxo substituted compounds. The 2’-Oxo substitution grants arylcyclohexylamines a “heavier” feel and is responsible for the compounds we tend to assign the feeling of “holing”. In general, compounds with 2’-Oxo substitutions seem to follow many of the same patterns seen in the non 2’-Oxo ACHs, in terms of how the amine and the length of the carbon chain on the amine affects activity.

If we want to rank the highest affinity (and likely most potent) compounds in this study, we have MXiPr>MXPr>O-PCE>Ethylmethylketamine>MXE>O-PCiPr>DCK>O-PCPr>N-Ethylnorketamine>Cyclobutylketamine>MXM>DMXE. All of these compounds are higher affinity than ketamine, and Allylketamine is close in affinity to ketamine, being only slightly less. Of these, the ones that haven’t been made yet are Ethylmethylketamine, O-PCiPr, Cyclobutylketamine, and Allylketamine. These all represent potential future developments for arylcyclohexylamines. Notably, the cyclobutyl and allyl N-substitutions conserve a good amount of activity, and are probably worth exploring as regular non-2’-Oxo phenyl substituted arylcyclohexylamines (eg, 3-MeO-PCcBu, 3,4-MD-PCcBu, 3-MeO-PCAl etc.).

 The most interesting new finding is perhaps the high affinity of the cyclobutylamine, which has not really been investigated. It would be really interesting to see what this is actually like qualitatively and how that structure affects the activity of other substituted ACH’s!

 

References:

Abelian A (2024). Design, Syntheses, and Pharmacological Evaluations of β-ketoarylcyclohexylamines. Doctoral Dissertation, Saint Joseph’s University. Astrophysics Data System.

 

Cho AK, Hiramatsu M, Schmitz DA, Vargas HM, Landaw EM (1993) A behavioral and pharmacokinetic study of the actions of phenylcyclohexyldiethylamine and its active metabolite phenylcyclohexylethylamine. The Journal of Pharmacology and Experimental Therapeutics 264(3):1401-5

 

Jose J, Gamage SA, Harvey MG, Voss LJ, Sleigh JW, Denny WA (2013) Structure-activity relationships for ketamine esters as short-acting anaesthetics. Bioorg Med Chem. 21(17):5098-106.

 

Morris H, Wallach J. From PCP to MXE: a comprehensive review of the non-medical use of dissociative drugs. (2014) Drug Test Anal. 6(7-8):614-632.

 

Stevens C, Thuillier A, Taylor KG, Daniher FA, Dickerson JP, Hanson HT, Nielsen NA, Tikotkar NA, Weier RM (1966). Amino Ketone Rearrangements. VII.1 Synthesis of 2-Methylamino-2-Substituted Phenylcyclohexanones. The Journal of Organic Chemistry 31(8), 2601-7

 

Wallach J (2014). Structure Activity Relationship (SAR) Studies of Arylcycloalkylamines as N-Methyl-D-Aspartate Receptor Antagonists. Doctoral Dissertation, University of the Sciences in Philadelphia. Proquest Dissertations and Theses database.

 

Zhang Y, Ye F, Zhang T, Lv S, Zhou L, Du D, Lin H, Guo F, Luo C, Zhu S (2021). Structural basis of ketamine action on human NMDA receptors. Nature 596:301-5

2024 in Review

It's halfway through the year, looks like I procrastinated.

I am doing better than this post in the current moment actually. But I will talk about that later. That is things in motion that I will not post about until they are settled. I'm ok, I have stability and routine in my life again.

 

[tw: self harm, suicide, addiction]

 

 

I am still going to write this from the perspective that the year has just ended. I am going to pretend to be ignorant to the lessons and experiences I have had so far in 2025. I will discuss those in 6-12 months from now. 

 

There really isn't too much to say this time. I am doing bad. I am doing well sometimes, but not as often. I ended 2024 on an extremely dark note, in a well of unemployment, uncertainty about my future, aimless time, listlessness, bouts of insane mania buttressed by deep cavities of depression. I drove out at sunrise one morning and sat beneath a bridge without my phone with a vial of cyanide in my pocket. I have branded and cut  myself all over my body. I am at the mercy of violent mood swings, accelerated by rampant drug use. I have consciously stated many intentions to quit, and have kept to it for periods of time, but ultimately I have always failed and crumbled at that. I have lied and schemed to continue my addiction, I have betrayed and concerned the ones I love, I have made feeble attempts at seeking treatment that have all hit dead ends. I am untreated and without direction.

If I can review the year, it was beautiful and glorious in ways that are so far apart from drugs that have pulled me into the depth of our grand beautiful world. I embarked on a belated honeymoon with the love of my life- a month and a half in my motherland, Malaysia, among the jungle, among my relatives, among Islam, colorful and diverse, so many creatures living and fighting. My spouse learned to scuba dive and climbed a mountain in Borneo with me, it felt like pushing myself to my physical limits but I accomplished it. I celebrated a unique bicycle day, through pure happenstance and with great difficulty I obtained a single tab of LSD in Malaysia- The trip was fantastic and unreal, experienced in the Jungles of the motherland, the sound of insects and Azans and thunderstorms washing over me, on the other side of the world. It was the first time I truly felt the mass and depth and volume of this great sphere of iron and silicon and magnesium. I felt the glory of Islam and the glory of dedicated and disciplined prostration before a greater power. We next went to Vietnam and traveled the length of it, exploring the caves of Phong Nha – Kẻ Bàng National Park, I  bought gabapentin at a pharmacy in Da Nang and got loaded for a 20 hour bus ride to Ho Chi Minh City. I did nitrous in a gay bar and saw the tunnels the Viet Cong used to fight America. I fired an AK-47 and stood on the remains of a destroyed tank. I went to Australia, met lovely people in Melbourne and Sydney, people fighting hard for indigenous liberation and a free Palestine, there were too many beautiful experiences in Australia to count- I did LSD again, this time in the Sydney botanical gardens, it is incredible that this humble little molecule, in its microgram doses, has crept across the entire world, eager prophets and acolytes ready to spread its secrets to the willing in every place! Everyone trips, everywhere. The capstone to this was accomplishing a lifelong achievement- scuba diving in the great barrier reef. When I was a child we rented a National Geographic Documentary VHS tape on the Great Barrier Reef and I watched it on repeat. I swore to visit this glorious place, and it was everything I expected and more. Beautiful adventure, vibrant life, so much living on so much. 

It felt like a capstone to life. I never expected to make it this far. I checked something off of the list of things I wanted to do. Should I be content with the chapters I have written? Should I be content with the contributions I have made to the world? Should I strive to do more? Will I feel content if I were to die right now? The trip ended, as all trips inevitably do. 

The beginning of the year I spent still working in a chemistry lab, synthesizing new drugs. In the home stretch, I had finished the projects I was contracted for so I was mostly just grinding out new compounds as fast as I could. I busted my ass for a few months in contrast to my usual laziness and indolence in the lab and made some beautiful things. I left for a trip. I came back to nothing. No job, no prospects. I attempted to apply to graduate school (ok, anachronistic spoiler alert I failed), I applied to many jobs. My life was adrift, all of the seeming accomplishments I had built- the glory of bringing my spouse to the motherland, hiking my favorite mountain together, seeing the great barrier reef, writing more trip reports than almost anyone other than Shulgin, trying so many drugs, inventing new drugs- all meaningless in the tides of capitalism but ultimately all meaningless in the tides of my own impulse towards hedonism and self destruction. I never expected to make it this far- every year feels like a victory lap. I assumed I would've killed myself or overdosed or been killed doing something stupid and reckless. I didn't plan for any of this. I don't have the funds or means to maintain this dissociative addiction long term. Substituting for other compounds like pregabalin or carisoprodol is its own host of problems. I am trapped and shooting off into an empty darkness I never thought I would encounter, one I never prepared to encounter, a whole damn adulthood. 

People often tell me they are surprised at my age. I assume it is that I come off as immature, the spirit of a wild clout-chasing teenager. I don't know how to act my age because I never thought I would be this age. It's disorienting. 

 

I abstained from dissociatives (other than nitrous) for 3 and a half months. I thought of them constantly, I had dreams about doing them. My experiences were wonderful. There were times when I thought "I wish I was dissed right know". There were frankly, times where I was very glad I was not dissed. It was near-psychoactive to see the sun peak over the island of Borneo, an amber sky chasing away the violet night as the first glorious rays of light hit the peaks of mount Kinabalu. The thin icy air, my body pushed to its physical limits aching, groaning, my heart raging to keep going on. These were not normal circumstances, my mind was not its normal self, you can find this in so many places. Looking out of the vine-laced mouth of a cave into the valleys of Tân Hoá with its forested limestone pinnacles, soaked in slick jungle cave water. Drifting between the towering coral bommies and peaking into the little crevasses for the millions of tiny fish and invertebrates buzzing and swimming in their perfect infinitely complex ecological harmony! But this isn't a travel blog- it goes to say I abstained for a long time. I guess I can manage it if I am not at home.

 

At home it is very different. I immediately sank back into old patterns. I abused drugs heavily. An ideal combo for me in this phase would be something like 3-MeO-PCE to start, maybe a bit of 3-MeO-PCP later, some little bumps of FXE at points, pregabalin in this system for some extra depth, then later a heavy hole, ketamine, DCK, 2F-DCK, FXE, DMXE, were the choices to add weight and sink into a hole and enter my lovely "sandbox" space where I am god, the creator, I can generate a body and imagery at will. It's sensational. This was habitual. Perhaps I would also take a benzo to sleep, usually temazepam or flunitrazepam or triazolam these days. Or I would stay up with it, hit cocaine or 3-Me-PCPy to keep rocking in a blackout. How deeply deeply fucked up. 

 

After one too many incidents a breaking point was reached, I said I would quit, I got a safe, entrusted the keys to my spouse, and locked the collection in the vault. Of course I found loopholes. I was still dosing experimental compounds to write reports, for the good of knowledge I guess. This system sometimes kept me at bay- they are not all entirely pleasant. I would squirrel things for the times the vault was unlocked for special occasions or for scientific analysis. I could still order and receive things. I abused the remaining ones that were some degree of fun. I substituted for other drugs. I am not clean. I am failing this so badly. 

 

I am sorry to whine, but that is the current state of things. To break time again, I am seeking treatment options. I do not want to commit to inpatient. I love drugs so much. I cannot imagine a life without them. But that is obviously maladaptive. I need a life without them, or with much much much less of them, like everyone else.

 

Where am I going.

 

I didn't really try much new this year. Just old habits. 

Here are the new ones ranked:

1. 3-F-PCiPr - This is a truly miraculous compound, I love it so much, it goes so many directions, it is soft, it is intense, it can be confusing or disorienting, but it will always take care of me. The depth is immense, and low doses are a comforting delight. It felt like it had a nootropic afterglow, I think this one can be very useful. 

 

2. PCiPr- The everything dissociative. It lasts a very long time. It is hard to describe, it goes so many directions. It is heavy, functional, focused, confusing, manic, stimulating, sedating, and damn intense the whole way. Low doses are nice and sociable.

 

3. 3-MeS-PCiPr- This is just a less potent 3-MeO-PCiPr, it has the same essence but is muted and muffled in every sense. Too subtle. About 5x less potent than the corresponding 3-Methoxy compound. Full report hopefully coming soon.

 

4. 3-MeS-PCP- Similar to above, this is just a less potent 3-MeO-PCP, more subtle and muffled. I don't know if sulfur is a direction worth exploring with arylcyclohexylamines.

 

5. Flunitrazepam- I roofied myself and it was a lot of fun. Nice floppy euphoric short acting heavy benzo. Its nice when you do it to yourself.

 

6. 3-EtO-PCiPr- This one is really smooth and light and confusing, I need to work up the dose, I feel like I don't really understand it yet. 

 

7. 3-EtO-PCP- Another one that I have had a hard time finding a proper dose. Gets very intense very fast, very steep dose-response curve. But interesting. Not sure if I enjoy it.

 

8. 3-MeO-PCsBu- Okay I don't personally enjoy this one, but it is really really interesting- this drug is pure mania and stimulation, barely any dissociative effects, but apparently binds well to NMDA- It is so jittery and manic thoughts racing, it is a distinctively dissociative mania but there is no physical sensation. I wonder if there are biomarkers for mania in clinical trials, and if there are, I wonder if this drug could induce those biomarkers- may be of interest for research into treatment of bipolar disorder. Report someday.

 

9. 2-MeO-PCiPr- I haven't done enough of this to properly characterize it- a light  subtle dissociation so far.

 

10. 3-Me-PCiPr- Absolute hell to snort. Stimmy and uncomfortable. bleh.

 

 

 

I wonder if my parents read this blog now. I am so so so sorry.

 

 

O-PCPr

Age: 29

Weight: 140 lbs

Dosage: 90 mg intransal

Setting: At home. Very late at night. Just watched “The Truman Show” with my spouse. 

 

[Please note: I have developed a dissociative tolerance and I also prefer strong experiences. This is a massive dose for a normal person. For someone without a tolerance I would suggest starting at 20 mg for this compound. For someone without a tolerance an experience of similar intensity to mine would likely be found at the 50-60 mg range]

Per usual, the preface is a lot of chem and pharmacology jargon. Skip it if that is not of interest. An quick summary of the compound is at the end.

 

Preface:

O-PCPr was first detected when it was being sold as O-PCE at the end of 2024. Yet another egregious mislabeling error with dissociatives, as with the whole FXE fiasco. I am not sure if this is a failure on the part of QA or the development team in the labs producing these drugs. Nevertheless, a number of test samples that have been correctly labeled as O-PCPr have now been sent out from that same lab, indicating that they plan on offering it for wider sale soon, though this remains to be seen. Unlike my series of PCiPr analogues that have just been curiosity driven passion projects from small researchers, this one seems like it may actually have some market force behind it!

Identity of this compound was confirmed via ASAP-MS and 1H/13C NMR, which can be provided upon request.

O-PCPr follows a pretty logical path for the design of a novel arylcyclohexylamine. It is simple 2’-oxo-PCPr, no substitution on the phenyl ring. It is the same basic concept as DCK (which one could call O-PCM), or O-PCE.

With so many close relatives, what kind of effects can one predict from this drug before consuming it? This drug does exist in literature, it was actually among a series of compounds synthesized and analyzed for receptor affinity by my colleague Dr. Anush Abelian for her dissertation. The NMDA Ki value to related compounds in the paper like DCK, O-PCE, and MXPr, tells us is that this compound is probably less potent than its known relatives. Ki values often correlate to potency but don’t always cleanly correspond. I felt fairly comfortable starting with a higher dose when titrating this compound. And lo and behold, by my findings, if I took my tolerance out of the equation, I would say 50 mg of this would be equivalent to 40 mg of DCK or 25 mg O-PCE.

This opens up some interesting horizons with structure activity relations too. There aren’t too many PCPr based compounds floating around out there. The only comparisons I have are MXPr and 3,4-MD-PCPr. Both of which are quite unique. It is still hard to get a read on the general “vibe” of the propylamine series. What can be seen now is the pattern for 2’-Oxo-substituted arylcyclohexylamines. A methyl group has moderate affinity, activity spikes with an ethyl, and then falls back down again for a propyl, and presumably falls further with longer carbon chains (As an aside there is evidence that a sec-butyl amine is actually quite active and potent! But I maintain the prediction that an aliphatic (straight chain) butylamine would see a steady drop in affinity from the aliphatic propyl). The isopropyl configuration additionally seems to bind better than the long aliphatic propyl. This pattern is also seen in the 3-phenyl substituted analogues (in this case, MXM, MXE, MXPr, and MXiPr)- in which MXE is the most potent, MXM has a similar potency to MXPr, and MXiPr falls somewhere in between. (As an odd aside, per Abelian’s dissertation, the affinities of MXPr and MXiPr are actually higher than MXE! This is a case of affinity not fully correlating to in-vivo potency). This pattern maps on to the simple phenyl substituted ACH’s to some degree, and this is seen in Jason Wallach’s dissertation, though in this case, the methyl has a significantly lower affinity than the propyl. No idea how that would map onto in-vivo potency though, as we can see with the MX- style compounds, there is a clear divergence in that correlation sometimes.

Anyways, I digress, none of these numbers tell us what this drug is actually like! O-PCPr is short acting, heavy, smooth, insightful, suggestible, and ever so slightly stimulating beneath the heaviness. The headspace is fairly lucid throughout. Motor skills are pretty compromised, visuals are dark and neutral and indistinct. There are rushes of euphoria throughout. I think it is a fun compound that lends itself to casual use. If I want to make comparisons, it is like a more stimulating DCK. It bears little similarity to O-PCE or MXPr for that matter, it is a manageable headspace, there is no stultifying confusion. Even at moderate doses I was able to pull myself out of it and focus and function (which I did, during a devastating neighborhood crisis on one occasion). But it was nice to just sink in and get couchlocked by it. It is cozy and comfortable and smooth.

I will note that this compound seemed to slightly aggravate bladder and urinary symptoms. I am not sure if this is a personal sensitivity but I would suggest users to be vigilant of such effects and report them if experienced!

 

T0:00- Dose administered intranasally. Mild sting. Odor reminiscent of latex housepaint. Listening to Dub and relaxing on the couch.

 

T0:05- Spouse is telling me about intertidal spiders. I never knew those existed! I'm reading about marine insects now, the sea striders, Halobates. There is a slight dizziness but there is already an inquisitive and focused headspace that drives me to read about things, similar to what I experience from psychedelics. Some numbness and softness and clumsiness in my extremities already.

 

 

T0:08- It is hitting so fast. I am very dizzy. The room is spinning. My thoughts are still focused but it feels like they're starting to trip up on each other a little now and move more slowly. There is a distinct euphoric rush. It is hitting fast. I feel like I am sitting on an inflating balloon. Tracers begin to present visually.

 

T0:15- My head feels heavy, like there is a big metal cube inside of it. I am so dizzy, it feels dizzying to have my airy body support such weight. The room suddenly feels so drafty. There is a phantom sensation of wind all across my skin. I feel like I should be cold but I’m not. It feels like my entire body is wobbling and rippling in slow motion. It’s all so slow. My limbs are starting to feel so heavy and droopy like well-packed clay. There are open eyed visuals presenting as a sort of static or rainbow visual snow. There are no distinct patterns other than neat arrays of dots in a grid.

 

T0:30- I smoke a little bit of cannabis. I have just enough motor control for that. I feel so dense, everything is hitting so fast. Sounds are beginning to flange and reverberate. It feels like my entire visual field is shaking and flashing. I feel so heavy but my limbs also feel inflated by helium, it is as if all parts of me are floating up except for a dense heavy core anchoring the great balloon that is my consciousness and its perceptions of my body. I feel like a ball of lead on a vast plane of foil, sinking down and pulling the swirling ribbons of physicality around it as they dance in the persistent winds. I am a rock in the storm. There is such a gleeful rush to this feeling. My personal form is drooping and taking the form of the couch beneath it. I am sinking and sinking. I also need to pee. I am easily able to will myself up and walk upstairs, quite unsteadily.

 

T0:40- I am pretty dissed but I am able to talk to my spouse coherently. We chat about aquatic spiders and the behaviors of different spiders around water, like how fishing spiders will use the surface of water like an orb weaver would use its web- a vast vibrational field that can sense disturbances so they can be pursued. I too feel like the dainty hairy feet of the great Dolomedes spiders on the rippling surface of something immensely deep and dark. A hot air balloon drifting over a vast sinkhole. But instead of airy updrafts, the breeze pulls me in, deeper into its mouth, deeper into the hole. The depths beckon; I plug in headphones, turn off the lights, and play The Books’ final album “The Way Out”, a beautiful sound collage with excerpts from hypnosis and autogenic instructional tapes. I don’t normally opt for music with human voices so this proves to be an interesting experience.

I lie down and my body collapses into a puddle of quicksilver, dense and conforming to the surfaces it lies upon. Dim forms begin to materialize and loom over me, it feels like an entire shadowed world is laid out before me, an obscure geography begins to manifest in the sinuous violet deep rolling plains and unctuous pools and marshes before me, but as my balloon drifts over this nocturne fen-scape it seems the landscape comes up to greet me, geography folding in to encapsulate me, with the opaque black mirror still tannin bogs to my back, the tickling of the marshgrasses on my front and above me a hazy pastel twilight sky with no sun. This is a hole where my form feels relatively still in the mist, graced by the swirling dissociative winds, ready to be greeted upon by the synesthetic reactions to other stimuli. And so the multisensory and synesthetic experience continues onwards throughout the twists and turns of “The Way Out”, and in here I begin to feel my reaction-cognition suddenly grow more sensitive and unprotected as if bared away by the steady breeze: I keep finding unnerving little dysphonic notes in the music that I may not have sensed before; I can feel my thoughts spiraling fractally outwards in response to perceived negative stimulus hits from certain sounds. It all feels too exposed, it all feels too vulnerable. I feel like my brainstuff is on display, I feel at the mercy of a chemical that has laid my mechanisms bare. Thankfully this chemical is benign. All it will do with my neurons is slather them in buzzing syrup and let then all soak together. They will relax in their salon and feel sensitive and suggestible and safe.

There is still little sense of motion beyond slow and consistent following along tracks lacking something in dynamics of motion. As I ever so slowly drift, images and forms do still coalesce around my consciousness, fold in from the environment to make themselves apparent to me. This is a very solipsistic and lonely hole. With some compounds, the hole makes me feel like I am a visitor to a realm of titans. This hole makes me feel as though I am slowly drifiting through ancient and forgotten ruins, wind bellowing through their empty halls like a de Chirico painting, places that have been empty since before the temple of human cognition had been crafted.

The structure of this twilight hole is expansive, mountainous, stoic and still, even as forms matter-of-factly and placidly replicate and recur upon themselves like hopper crystals. There was always a sense of things coming together, building heavier, ever heavier. My perceptions of physical self also did not feature much distortion or alteration, I was always a still body in the gentlest breeze, at times cocooned, entombed or locked into armor or sarcophagi or mysterious pods, most motion was me simply being still and being manipulated by other perceived physical forces. Other dissociatives holes I could feel like my physical self was being twisted, bent, folded, expanded and contracted in impossible ways, but beyond a persistent floppy sinking feeling, this was not the case here. The nature of the hole was neutral, and I suspect highly sensitive to set and setting.

 

T1: 15 – I transition out of the hole as my physical body becomes more difficult to ignore. It does not take much effort to sit back upright and operate a computer again. I still feel very heavy, I still feel very dazed. Every function of my body and mind feels like I am in slow motion. I often just space out for a few seconds at a time, not really thinking about anything, just perceiving the state I am in. The room is dark. There are visuals drifting down the surfaces and indistinct dark spaces all around me, cascades of regular arrays of dots, shifting and morphing a little. Everything is gently flashing. As the shock of being in a hole state wears off and my normal cognition begins to quickly reassemble and filter back in, I just go back to reading about things on my laptop. I read about the phenomenon of hypnosis. I feel like I am made of gummy. My limbs feel heavy and buzzing and moving them is labored. But I am content to move as minimally as possible.

 

T1:30- Everything feels so slow. I am surprised to realize only an hour and a half has passed. The time dilation, particularly in the hole space, is remarkable. The intensity has leveled off at this point, I am sitting there in a focused daze like a monsoonal downpour of doom metal riffs is crashing down on me. I am not stupefied, incapacitated, or blankly staring off into space, but the presence of the drug is still overwhelmingly undeniable.

 

T2:00- I still feel the same as before. The comedown seems steady and gradual. There’s no mania, but still a focused drive to read things and engage in tasks. There is still a bit of slowness in my thoughts and reactions, like each neural impulse has to fight through slush to reach the next synapse, but the pieces to be a functional mind are all still there. It is a focus but it is a soft focus, still blurred, still not at full capacity. MXPr in its comedown left me confused and frozen in place, unable to really think or do anything and leaving me no desire to engage with anything. This is quite different from that. It’s a perfect state to competently engage with a mostly mindless videogame, in this case, I dust off my N64 cartridge of Pokemon snap and try to max out my scores. I become engrossed with finding an online leaderboard for this ancient game and find a quiet joy in seeing all these people from around the world still dedicating themselves to being the very best they can be for the sake a game hardly anyone plays anymore for only the most niche recognition. I find my mind, in its exposed softness, has taken itself to that sort of saccharine sentimentality, there are a lot of little beautiful things in the dark and quiet places in the world late at night, on pages of website with hardly any traffic, or perhaps a drug is just making me feel something profound about the dick-measuring contest of hyper-competitive gaming for dubious achievements that will forever be shrouded in total obscurity. But perhaps I am doing the same with drugs.

 

T3:00- I definitely feel further down. Cognitively I am close to being back to baseline, though I still feel suggestible and malleable- things like immediately believing obvious misinformation before scrutinizing it, fixation on certain thoughts or beliefs, I feel as though the right person could convince me to believe or do anything right now if they communicated it in the right way. Most of the remaining sensations are in my body- now just as numbness and heaviness. There is perhaps a bit of lingering stimulation in my mind, not true “stimulation” as in anything I can overtly feel, just that I would probably have a hard time falling asleep if I were to lay down right now.

 

T4:00- Almost entirely down. Just the last lingering vestiges of that aforementioned numbness and heaviness in my body.

 

T5:00- Fully back to baseline. Go to sleep (With my prescribed 50 mg of Trazodone).

Conclusion: I think this drug is excellent as a heavier dissociative for casual use- I think many users will even find it preferable to ketamine- not just because of its higher potency, but because of the slightly more engaging and lucid headspace too, at points quite euphoric and focused and sentimental without becoming too confusing or disorienting. The higher potency of course does mean that it may lend itself less to casual use as one can not eye out doses like they do with ketamine, but I find this one to be pretty forgiving at high doses, owing to its that somewhay lucid headspace. The heaviness is mostly in the body and even at a very large dose it wasn’t particularly disorienting, though it could be physically incapacitating. It has a very rapid onset with sudden upwellings of euphoria, a short peak duration and a longer, pleasant, functional comedown that is overall quite agreeable. The hole space is dim and indistinct but still interesting and quite malleable to whatever sensory inputs one lends themselves to. I believe holing on this drug with the appropriate music could provide for some phenomenal experiences, but on the flipside, it may prove very sensitive to set and setting and in the wrong place at the wrong time could be an unpleasant experience. It doesn’t have quite the same level of esoteric thought and deep-diving insight as DCK might have- in fact if I had to describe it based on comparison I would say the most accurate description is a slightly more stimulating DCK with a slightly shallower and more casual headspace- a headspace that I find projects itself outwardly onto the user’s inputs and surroundings as opposed to the inwardly gazing world of DCK. A great way to finish off a dark night. As I stated in the intro, I did notice some urinary effects in the time after taking it, though I don’t know whether this is just due to my own sensitivities or could have even just been coincidence with timing. I urge other experimenters to be vigilant for such effects and report if they notice similar. Overall though, I think this is an excellent, easy, euphoric, malleable, and forgiving compound that will certainly find its fans.