DXM + DPH + Bupropion + Gabapentin

This was originally part of this post, but I decided it was enough of a unique combination to warrant its own post. This was an experience from almost 2 years ago. This was a combination that I indulged in quite a bit for the months after, the effects were absolutely unlike any other drug I had tried, it was a combination that was totally novel and unique. This is likely due to the Sigma-1 receptor agonist activity of unmetabolized DXM. I would love to explore other drugs with similar receptor affinity. This report is short and sweet as there was quite a bit of amnesia, no timestamps even, sorry. It's been edited from its original version to include the aftereffects, Nonetheless,

Age: 19
Weight: 135 lbs

Dosage: 120 mg DXM, 600 mg Bupropion, 150 mg DPH, 3 g Gabapentin

Setting: My apartment

I had a little bit of DXM left, and didn’t feel like going all the way to the store for more. I wondered how I could make it go a long way. I had been reading earlier about the action of CYPD2D6 inhibitors and the effects they can have on DXM. I happened to be prescribed one of the most potent ones. I was already taking 450 mg a day. I figured throwing another 150 mg on would make for an interesting interaction. I decided to add some DPH to the mix too, both for its deliriant properties and because it too is an inhibitor. Because bupropion lowers a person’s seizure threshold I decided to take a ton of gabapentin too (I am prescribed 300 mg 3x a day).

I don’t remember the comeup much, but I was cast into the familiar state of everything seeming distant and metallic. Everything seemed to have rippling outlines, with tiny thin hairs sticking out of these auras. It was like everything had a hairy aura I guess. I began to feel like I had company, it was that feeling of the objects around me being people, seeing something from the corner of my eye triggered a strong feeling of sharing the space with another presence. I was alone for this entire experience.

I went outside to sit in my backyard and smoke, It was a nice dusk and the sunset was serene and pleasant. While lying back there, I got a very vivid hallucination-A black cloud, looking like a really thick puff of smoke, crawled across the sky like an amoeba with pseudopods. It appeared to be 15 feet off the ground or so. It reached powerlines, at which point it bent and altered its “limbs” to crawl over them. It the flashed out of existence. This was wild, the powerlines looked hairy and everything still had that aura. These hallucinations were unlike anything from psychedelics, they were not patterns or alterations, but just total hallucinations. I spent the next hour and a half relaxing back there, and the entire experience is a strange hallcucinatory circus. The entire time, it feels like I am hanging out with my friends back there like I have been pretty often at night the past few weeks, they are communicating and interacting with me and each other. They are hanging around, smoking, passing around a piece and joking and being warm presences. Of course in reality, I am completely alone. These people barely even manifest visually- They only appear in the corners of my eyes, and when focused on they vanish. They are faceless, featureless, grey and ethereal. They are loosely based off of real people I know, they are sentient silhouettes, ghosts if you will. Sometimes they are standing, looming, walking around, and we both feel like we notice one another. But once again, no one there, absolutely nobody.

The next day, I am still pretty dissociated when I wake up. I feel kinda numb and just very altered. Dex walk is still apparent. Upon smoking, I am blasted right back into the dexosphere. I no longer have the hallucinations of other presences. Rather, I am stricken with debilitating dissociation and super clear and vivid closed eye visuals. This time, I am floating above detailed landscapes, with rivers, rolling hills, and completely desolate terrain, devoid even of plant life. Other hallucinations include the typical zooming through a tunnel or between pillars.
The next day I wake up in the early afternoon still feeling pretty dissociated, like the syrup has stuck to my insides and now refuses to be extricated. I go through the day in a dizzy haze, still robowalking and still feeling uncoordinated and numb. When i smoke weed, it feels like I am in the depths of the DXM experience again. My sense of proprioception collapses inwards as my body begins to go numb. I am couchlocked and stricken with the most vivid closed eyed visuals of maps, landscapes, trees and buildings, all tinted grey and maroon and swirling with an alien sickness. I feel a restless itchiness in my joints and extremities. I keep smoking and it keeps me feeling dissociated throughout the day. This feeling only begins to fade around nightfall. 

3-MeO-PCE + 3-MeO-PCP

Age: 21

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage: 25 mg 3-MeO-PCE + 10 mg 3-MeO-PCP both Intranasal

Setting: My apartment

T0:00- Both drugs mixed and cut into a single line. Snorted all at once, it stings quite a bit.

T0:05- Feeling a bit dizzy and lightheaded already.

T0:10- I am shaking quite a bit, this is unlike any other dissociative comeup I’ve experienced so far. It’s as though I have just kicked off a chain reaction bearing an immense amount of potential energy that is slowly leaking into me, foreshadowing the full force and fury of what is to come. I am fading more and more as it feels like my body is being sucked away from me by a giant vacuum. My fingers begin to move more slowly as I become more fuzzy and numb. Memories flit around my head as rectangular butterflies.

T0:20- The potential energy is burgeoning and bubbling with an unexpected fury. I begin reflecting on my memories, the memories of that day, the memories of the past week, they always present as strange alienated vignettes, seemingly divorced from my actual self. It’s like they are all being viewed through some icy screen that saps the memories of any emotions mental entanglements. My fingers feel numb and mechanical.

T0:30- At last, the great rising bubble begins to crackle at the seams. Raw energy is expulsed with immense pressure, screaming down my limbs, spraying spitfire into my bones and electrifying my extremities. My back arches and my muscles twitch with this sudden influx of unfettered power. My thoughts are racing faster than I can manage, but it’s not distressing, rather I am distracted by the bustling fury with which I try to keep up with them.

Soon it feels as though I am simply moving faster than the world around me. Everything surrounding me seems to lapse into slow motion, even the music I am listening to. It’s like the soundwaves have slackenedto a more manageable speed and I can now meticulously weasel in and dissect every little fragment of the sounds with my ears. This must be how a hummingbird feels. I begin getting open eyed visuals of blocks and rod-like forms forming into great palisades around me, towering walls of pillars jutting from the ground. It is as if time has slowed down to the point where it is freezing and crystallizing into these solid forms.

T0:45- I apparently spend this span of time dressing up in my various costumes and dancing around my room, playing with my various dead animal parts. I know this because I recorded the whole thing on my webcam, though I have very faint recollection of this. I am not sure what drove me to do this, perhaps some desire to perform some “ritual” or to try and contact some metaphysical aspect of the experience. Nevertheless, the footage is nothing short of inane absurd madness. I felt like I had some grand purpose in mind while doing this, that I was maybe creating some art piece or really truly reeling in some arcane forces. Setting it up was a substantial effort, and this combination of drugs does not seem to hesitate in stoking the fires beneath me and electrifying me with motivation. I feel like with the proper directive, I could do anything right now. My motivation is astronomical, for no reason other than to expend the pure energy bursting from my every nerve. I feel incredibly warm and fuzzy, and my movements are carefree and uncoordinated. It’s a miracle that I somehow didn’t hurt myself in all of this activity.

T1:15- I thought I had peaked when I had been driven into that dance of madness. Nope, it seems this combination takes quite a bit of time to really get going. All of my notes from here on out were written in all caps. I suppose I felt that lowercase letters could not properly contain my energy. I feel ‘spun out’, in the purest and strongest regard. It feels like my physical body is in constant motion, that it is a gelatinous form being whipped and frothed by raging winds or tossed about by raging centrifugal, and that I am struggling to keep my mind in place within this wavering frame. I feel as though a solid form is no longer sufficient to contain this energy, that every atom in my body had been excited to the point of detaching from one another and liquefying. It feels as though some unknown force is punching and pulsing and rippling my liquid form, not out of malice but simply as collateral damage from its quivering, pummeling energy. This is not so much a heavy debilitating bodily dissociation, rather it is an all-consuming thrashing maelstrom of mental dissociation. I do not think I have ever felt so violently torn away from myself.

My notes for this portion of the experience border on incoherency. What little I could glean in a sober state was mostly in regards to bodily sensations- Feeling as though my body is being shorn apart by gale force winds, feeling as though I have been painlessly dismembered and split into separate parts, feeling as though I am being pelted with a hail of blocks, feeling like my body is shattering into tessellated fragments, feeling like I am imploding into myself, feeling stuck and held forcefully into place as the world rushes around me. The incoherent jumble of descriptions is fraught with dark and sinister imagery, a lot of it deals with having my body being forcefully taken to pieces or destroyed in some way. I am really, truly lost in my own room.

T1:35- I do not feel human, I do not even know what human means. My world is this strange self-contained sphere, a partitioned vesicle separate from the consequences of whatever lies beyond my bubble. The space within this bubble plays by its own rules, follows its own physics, has its own sense of time and space. It still feels as though I am being sheared apart by hurricane force winds.

I close my eyes and it feels like part of me is rising into the sky, while another part of me is being sucked forcefully downward into oblivion. I am being pummeled still by little vibrating fists and my memories are being scattered about like someone throwing a deck of cards up into the wind. I am adrift in a storm of walls.

T2:00- The experience shows no signs of letting up. Great dissociative gods loom over me and watch me as I continue to be tumbled around inside the infinite anesthetic maelstrom. I am still being stretched between things, split into pieces, all of this is absolutely relentless. It’s like they have tossed me into a dryer and turned it on full force, for nothing other than their absurd, maddened entertainment.

T3:00- I’ve been playing a little videogame to try and pass the time faster, as it still feels as though time is moving slower than normal. Even after all this time passes, I don’t feel like I’m coming down at all, the storm rages with a fury that has only diminished ever so slightly. Everything is flashing and pulsing still, and I am still altered beyond any sense of functionality. The boundaries of my body are still amorphous and gelatinous, it still feels like a dissociative gale is raging around me, mentally, I still feel starkly and acutely separated from the world.

T4:00- Only now can I start to say that I am beginning to come down, but just barely. I go downstairs and hang out with my roommate. Interacting with people is very challenging as I just feel alien and inhuman, and my mind feels scarred and abraded from the sheer force of this combo.

T5:00- Go out in public to a convenience store. It’s extremely odd, I have very little sense of body and feel like I am just a head and shoulders zooming around, with no sense of how tall I am or how much space I occupy. Visually, things are still flashing, pulsing, beating and throbbing.

T6:00- I go to bed now, still feeling very dissociated. I don’t have any problem sleeping though, despite how heavily and irredeemably stimulated I felt earlier.

Aftermath: The next day I sleep in. I don’t feel too dissociated when I wake up, just the usual afterglow. Throughout the whole experience, the sheer force of the dissociation was so severe that I couldn’t comprehend ever recovering from it, yet here I felt the next day mostly normal and recovered. It’s nice how that turns out.

This is a very intense combination, it seems to really drag out the duration of both drugs and bombard the user with an unrelenting and extremely intense dissociative storm, similar to the merciless and uncompromising nature of O-PCE. Approach with caution. 

Methoxphenidine

Age: 21

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage: 150 mg oral in gel cap

Setting: My apartment

T0:00- Dose taken in gel cap.

T0:30- Not feeling anything so far other than a slight nausea.

T0:50- Onset. I am very suddenly feeling pretty dissociated. It feels as though my head has been turned into a brick, dense and inert. The world has been tilted askew as numbness tingles into my fingers. The dissociation feels like it is originating in my extremities and creeping inwards.

T0:55- It has gone from onset to comeup quite quickly. It’s as if a dissociative time bomb had been cooking within me for the past hour or so and it had just burst, splattering anesthetic shrapnel throughout the inside of my being. I am sinking into my bed as if it is made of soft mud and the room begins to rock like a boat on choppy water. My skin feels like its tightening and my mind feels like it is being wiped of thought, as if to force it to a place of neutrality. When I close my eyes I am greeted by a bunch of concentric rectangles, glowing like the static of a CRT screen in a dark room, with fuzzy indistinct silhouettes of figures standing in front of it. With my eyes open I begin to see an array of rings with squares inside of them adorning the walls that buckle and bend inwards towards me.

T1:00- I am going up and up. This drug is very buzzy and I feel like I am vibrating faster than a human body normally can or should. I can particularly feel my teeth buzzing against each other. Time feels like it is splitting into frames and my body has an aura around it that forms a solid copy for each frame that passes, leaving a trail of 3 dimensional tracers in my form. What was once a sinking feeling has given away to a total liquefaction of my being. I am now some sort of syrup or gel that is beginning to leak and drip off of my bed. I am being blasted with pulses of dissociation like blasts of light. It feels like saran wrap has been draped over me and is clinging to me, binding me, wrapping around me and floating away as a little vesicle. I am shaking and I am cold and I am floating on a tiny island. My lips are buzzing and feel very sensitive in contrast to the rest of myself. Keeping my eyes open takes a great deal of effort. I decide to take a gravity bong hit of cannabis to kick things into the next gear.

T1:15- My body has been crushed into oblivion and I have quickly been reduced to a stray mind floating in a great void. I am gummy and moving in slow motion. Whatever membrane that surrounded me has ruptured and my existence is cascading into the fissure like a great waterfall being sucked into a drain. I drift around this immense void, with great pulsing radiating disembodied buildings floating around me like in the very final scene of Akira (excuse the reference but it was almost entirely analogous to that). Hands are wrenching my essence from right angles and are pulling it apart, disintegrating me into obscurity. Opening my eyes is like popping up on the surface of the water after diving down for a long time- I find myself short of breath and very disoriented, briefly quite unaware of where I am or how I got there. With eyes open I have a slightly better sense of body, and everything is like tendrils. I feel like I am a big U shaped noodle. My legs are unctuous, they are like a strand of spaghetti or an oil slick floating atop an undulating sea, waving and rippling at the mercy of the waves. Strange red block figures, perhaps distant ambassadors from ‘the other’ manifest with my eyes closed, although they are blurry and indistinct, watching me unobtrusively from a distance. The sound of my computer fan becomes distorted into garbled mumbling voices, like an auditory pareidolia.

Mentally, I just feel a pure and neutral dissociation, like my mind has been literally shaken to the point of being invalid and nonfunctional. I can’t really think about anything no matter how hard I try, I am at the mercy of whatever stray thoughts choose to drift by, like being forced to stare at clouds drifting across in the sky. I am blank and content and blissfully disconnected from the world around me. My memories of the day prior trickle in and feel like fiction in my head, becoming indistinguishable from the memories of recent dreams I have had. My daily life suddenly seems alien and baffling.

T1:30- This trip is rapid and energetic, yet I feel entirely unable to use my body to any degree. I am paralyzed with these same blissful pulses of dissociation. This experience has been dominated by visions of a great upside down triangle, a powerful structure radiating the security of its energy, radiating the potential force contained its angles. I feel as though this is the symbol of the “other”, perhaps not the “other” that I typically encounter, but a different “other”, one unique to this substance, one that holds reverence for straight lines, for linear vibrations, and for concentric pulses of force. I feel that I have entered a special and exclusive hole that few get to access, and that I have passed their test, that I am being recruited into their cadre.
I get a vision of being a serpentine creature with bird head, constructed from harsh angles and straight lines, I am in an area or amphitheater, similarly devoid of any curves or circles. The lines of the structure are repeating and trailing and closing in on me, wrapping me in their vibrations, pressing on me from all sides.

T1:50- The open eyed visuals appear as tendrils and branching blood vessels throbbing across the distorted and impossible walls of my room. I am still a liquid, conforming to whatever surface I occupy and sloshing around within whatever contains me. It also feels like I am under water, like I am some piddle of a dense and viscous fluid resting on the bottom of the sea, the currents shearing my surface away into the swirling abyss. My fingers feel long and floppy like they are made of clay. I am slowly regaining more of a sense of body and solidity, and I am still buzzing and vibrating a great deal but I am coalescing into some coherent form at least. My thoughts are scrambled and incoherent, evidenced by several notes I had taken at this point that make absolutely no sense to me. Time seems to be passing slowly, it feels as though time itself has coagulated and become gelatinous.

It’s very hard to move, but I don’t want to anyway. I feel extremely comfortable, as if my perception of physical self is pouring back into me and settling into the ideal position for maximum pleasure. I find myself constantly short of breath. My thoughts are so scattered and disconnected that I feel like an alien, that the contact with the other has seared my brain temporarily and that it is still trying to sort things out and reassemble itself in some way that will function in our world.  

I would definitely say I am out of the hole at this point. I try to smoke more cannabis but it fails to launch me back up to where I was. I resign to simply relaxing and letting the experience drain from me as my being filters back in.

T2:30- I am drifting down. I have been playing a peaceful and ambient game for the past hour, for lack of anything better to do. I am too impaired still for most activities anyways. My tongue is numb and the inside of my mouth is tingling. I try to eat a little and I can’t really taste it. Closed eyed visuals still present as simple angular straight-lined geometric forms.

T6:00- I still feel physically floppy, although I am mostly down otherwise. Socializing is difficult at first, I find it difficult to hear, and the bright lights outside of my room are jarring. My short term memory falters in conversation, but I eventually get used to it and I am able to do things normally.

T8:00- Go to sleep. Wake up feeling a bit distant the next morning, with a pleasant afterglow that lasts throughout the day.

Conclusion: MXP in my past experiences was never a substance to send me down the “hole”, but in my recent experiments it has surely proven itself. Perhaps it’s the addition of cannabis, or my setting, but overall it provides an exciting and interesting experience that almost feels like an abraded and dulled down psychedelic, devoid of color and with a mysterious damper taking hold of my thoughts and moving them uncontrollably along some predetermined track. Overall it is very buzzy and vibrate-y.  

2C-iP

Age: 21

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage: 50 mg oral in gel cap

Setting: My apartment

T0:00-Dose taken as soon as I get out of class with 8 mg Ondansetron for nausea. I decide I’m going to go by myself to run some errands on the other side of town.

T0:05-While waiting for the subway I am struck with a sharp pain in my stomach and lower abdominal cramps. It passes after about a minute or so.

T0:30-After a long subway ride I go to a grocery store that specializes in south Asian foods. While walking there from the subway, I feel some enhancement of thought processes and heightened music appreciation. No noticeable effects in the body or in my senses.

T0:40-As I’m shopping around the grocery store I am hit with this wave of pulsing burgeoning swiftness, like suddenly my thoughts have accelerated. I find myself manically pacing the store, getting distracted and forgetting what I was there for. I can feel a bit of lightness in my body. I would call this the onset.

T1:00-I’m feeling nice, very uplifted both physically and emotionally. I decide to walk half of the way home instead of taking the subway. It’s very cold out but I am substantially bundled up and can feel a great psychedelic warmth radiating from my core, thawing the frigid air from around my body. I am thinking a great deal to myself while walking, heavily fantasizing about potential positive futures or other satisfying outcomes for my life. This reminds me of the sort of positive self-thought that comes from empathogens. I feel entirely enraptured in my own mind, almost unaware of the outside world, walking along mechanically and automatically and completely ignoring all the other people I come upon. Visuals pick up slightly as light and indistinct patterns in the sky, flashing in rainbow colors. Not much else though.

T1:30-I decide to take the subway the rest of the way home. Upon reaching the station and finally standing still, I realize how hard I am tripping now. I feel physically uncomfortable due to the nervous stimulation and twitching in my limbs. Sitting still is nearly unbearable, I want to get up and pace, but I also feel very awkward being near all these other people. I feel so dissociated from them and they all seem so alien. The visuals have made themselves very apparent now. They seem to have formed into all variety of pulsing concentric circular shapes interspersed with intricate tangled lacework patterns. All of the tiles on the floor of the station appear to have conchoidial fracturing patterns on them. Overall the visuals are very abstract and don’t really seem to follow any sort of larger organization or symmetry. The subway comes and I take my seat. I am anxious to get home the entire ride, shaking and hiding my face from people.

T2:00-I arrive home. Walking around was scary, the high schools had just let out so there were crowds of teenagers everywhere and I had to walk through these crowds to get home. I normally have no issue with this but pushing your way through a crowd while progressively tripping harder and harder on psychedelics can be jarring. While walking it almost felt as though my body could not keep up with my mind, as if I had some projection in my mind of arriving home faster but that projection went beyond my physical capabilities.

I smoke a joint immediately upon arriving home. The nausea that was somewhat apparent the last time I took this has not been an issue, but I do notice some other painful abdominal cramps and a bit of a twisting discomfort all throughout my body. I am very wired and shaking very hard. I chew some gum to quell the jaw clenching. My thoughts are flowing quickly and efficiently, and I find myself spending a great deal of time just reading about whatever catches my interest on the internet, similar to how many other psychedelics manifest for me. The open eyed visuals are picking up, while the closed eyed visuals are curiously relatively faint. With my eyes closed, there appear great checkerboard diamonds radiating their patterns into infinity and pulsing in the aether. The open eyed visuals are like a tangled web of roots or mycelium, dancing and intertwining with itself across every surface, its form seemingly following some sort of mathematical or fractal patterning. They nestle themselves into formation while pulsing and flashing with waves of purple and teal. Soon my entire visual field is shaking, as if the world is coming apart at the atoms, as if these webs have woven their way deep into the fabric of existence and are slowly splitting it apart like how water seeps into cracks and freezes to cleave rocks apart. It is as though the world is screaming from being torn apart, but the fundamental deconstruction of all things has subdued this scream to a muffled shout. While I am very altered, I also still feel very grounded and lucid and functional in some sense. Perhaps my entire frame of reference has been shifted aside into some esoteric realm and my “grounded” is objectively cast into some distant space. The visual circuitry that has been disseminating throughout my sensory field seems to crackle and sizzle, searing cancer into reality, belching out plumes of smoke from the charred fabric of every intertwined atom. The room appears foggy now.

T2:40- I am very stimulated, not being able to sit still comfortably in any position for long and shaking a great deal. I am also sweating vigorously now. It feels like I have done so much in the past 40 minutes, and that time has slowed down around me, but in reality I have just been reading a lot about WWI on the internet. Nonetheless, it does feel like I’ve taken in a great deal of information, moreso than I would expect myself to in that span of time. The visuals now appear as radiating geometric patterns, still a degree of abstract and amorphous. They do not stand out as being particularly interesting or spectacular, this just feels like a very standard energized psychedelic experience. I physically feel very hot, and there is a burning sensation deep in my body that radiates through my veins like a poisoned fire consuming a building, reducing it to a desert of toxic ash that billows up in great choking plumes at the slightest disturbance.

T4:15- I have found myself very focused and able to read a great deal at once, only facing a small degree of the incapacitating distractibility that usually prevents me from reading. My friends have come over and are hanging out downstairs with my roommate but I’m content to be holed up in my room, immersed in the steely blue fog of this drug. I have noticed at this point I feel like I must urinate very frequently, though when I try to go I find myself unable to. This eventually leads to my bladder feeling very sore and strained. This only progressively gets worse throughout the night.

T6:00- I finally decide to go downstairs and join my friends. It still looks like everything is foggy and smoky, and the air outside of the warm confines of my room chills me to the bone.  Being in a well-lit space surrounded by other people is very disorienting. I thought I was mostly down but the sudden immersion in a new environment makes me realize just how hard I am still tripping. Conversation initially is awkward and difficult, however as time goes on I find myself more capable. It’s similar to jumping into cold water and slowly acclimating to the temperature. I am hearing and feeling this crackling sensation in my inner ears, especially while I am talking or if I have my mouth open. This fades after about an hour but is certainly novel and mysterious.

T10:00- We have been hanging out and smoking weed for the past few hours. The open eyed visuals have been coming in waves, seemingly independent of when I smoke. They mostly appear as those same labyrinthine laceworks that swirl and twist and dance on any flat surface. I find myself much more able to do social interaction now, in fact I find myself more able to than when I am sober, a typical effect of psychedelics. We watch this absurd Kung-Fu movie I picked up from a souvenir shop in Chinatown, with incomprehensible subtitles, an incoherent plot, and absolutely absurd acting and visual effects. It’s one of the most entertaining and baffling things I have ever seen and the comedown of the drug has certainly enhanced that. While the trip winds down, the urinary effects have only gotten worse. I find myself laden with chills and overall discomfort, but the bladder pain is certainly the worst aspect of it all.

T16:00-I finally decide to go to bed. The cognitive and sensory effects of the drug have mostly worn off by now but I am still racked with physical disturbances. I still feel very stimulated and no position I lie in feels comfortable. I am shaking fiendishly. My abdomen aches. I still have to get up about every 20 minutes to pee, it is painful and uncomfortable and the bladder aching still persists. This just plain sucks now. After lying awake and tossing and turning for some unknown amount of time I eventually fall asleep.

Epilogue: The horrible physical symptoms continue into the next day. The same abdominal cramps, nausea, shaking, and urinary pain and urgency consist, showing no sign of letting up. I feel feverish and sweaty all day and have a great deal of trouble regulating my temperature. This sucks a lot. I have almost no appetite and can barely eat all day. I give myself a heavy cocktail of sedatives around bedtime so I don’t have to toss and turn while suffering through this again. I feel better the next day.

Conclusion: This drug is okay at best. The last time I tried it at 30 mg I barely had threshold effects, but the urinary symptoms presented in full force. At that time, I had been experiencing less acute versions of those symptoms for some time before the experience, so I was hesitant to blame the drug. This time however, demonstrated that the drug was definitely responsible for exacerbating that state, and it seems it is quite capable of inducing those symptoms in me when they weren’t already present. The headspace was interesting enough but not particularly unique. I could get the same thing from other 2C’s without the horrible toxic effects on my body. The only part that stood out as pleasant was the comeup before the bodyload really kicked in. The sensory effects weren’t particularly interesting either, with only moderate and fairly abstract visuals. The whole trip felt like being seared by a cold toxic fire. One thing to note is that both times I took this drug I didn’t feel like I was tripping very hard, but in retrospect I realized how separated from my consciousness I really was. This one has a very long and very gradual comeup that immerses one into the experience so slowly that they may not even notice when it starts to really come on.

3C-E

Age: 21

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage: 50 mg oral in gel cap

Setting: My apartment

T0:00-Dose taken. At my house with friends over, two of them on acid and one of a combination of MXP and DXM.

T0:20-First notes begin to manifest, a bit of chills and shaking with some abdominal discomfort.

T0:45-A familiar warm psychedelic weightlessness sets in. It feels warm and fuzzy, yet at the same time there is great discomfort stirring within me. My muscles constantly feel as though they are on the brink of springing to action, making them quite dissatisfied with the fact that I am simply sitting still. I am quite nauseous and stricken with this stimulated toxicitiy like my nerves are being zapped into overdrive.

T1:00-The same feelings continue to fester and spin inside of me. Visual effects begin to pick up as if they are a distinct result of my brain “frying” under this stimulating electric storm of nerve impulses. They appear as a dancing haze, a psychedelic fog tracing itself in the air and giving off the appearance of auras and heat waves. Closing my eyes give the first clear visuals, triangular patterns and chevrons rapidly radiating out of central points, flowing furiously like conveyor belts gone haywire, flipping and spinning and rotating around and vigorously cascading outwards. I am shaking quite a bit now.

T1:30-Still the same discomfort. The nausea and GI symptoms are calming slightly although the shaking has ramped up to the point where it is impeding my ability to type. For the sake of amusement I tried converting my vicious tremors into playing a bass drum, as I find myself tapping my leg very rapidly. It sounds like a machine gun, it was pretty cool, I wish I knew how to play drums because I could probably do some absurd blast beats in this state or something. I really don’t know much about music to be honest though. The same closed eyed visuals are still presenting, still moving as rapidly as my heartbeat, my thoughts, my every movement. If I could describe myself in one word, it would be ‘fast’. The open eyed visuals are simple concentric patterns and a distinct fogginess to my vision, not blurriness but as if my vision was washed out and faded. Cognitively, my thought processes are mostly introspective and self-reflective, as if the burden of trying to orient my excess energy with the outside world is too much and I must turn inwards for any sense of harmony or calm. Even confined to an inner realm however, my thoughts still flit about too quickly for me to catch them, too erratic for me to focus on them or process them. They whizz around nebulously like a swarm of insects. Yet I do not feel anxious in any way. I am taken by a sense of mindful calm and being in the present, a distinct ability to ignore these relentlessly errant thoughts and to peacefully accept this ignorance. My thoughts are racing and I just don’t care.

T3:00-I’ve felt faint and overall faded for the better part of the last few hours. The tremors and shaking are still enough to interfere with any activity that requires fine motor skill. Nausea and queasiness has been coming in random bouts the entire time, seeming to alternate on and off every 20 minutes or so. Despite what feels like many close calls I do not end up needing to vomit. Open eyed visuals have mostly been slight and only noticeable when focused on. Thought processes had mostly sputtered out now leaving that sense of empty calm, despite the physical agitation. This drug is pleasant, but not particularly deep or interesting. I find myself saying a lot of extraneous stuff and being pointlessly verbose in conversation, speaking in long, rambling tirades, and sending long rambling messages to people.

T3:30-Smoke a lot of cannabis. It seems to calm down some of the bodyload for a bit. I am shaking somewhat less and the nausea seems to have passed. The smoking stokes the flames of my thought however, and what had been smoldering embers was now ignited into a glistening glowering conflagration. The visuals also became more prominent. A text from someone who couldn’t know I was tripping filled me with racing anxious thoughts about how to deal with the situation and the potential bad outcomes, especially in case of them trying to call me. I decided to calm myself down by hiding upstairs in my room. I was feeling so overstimulated that I decided not even to turn the light on and simply lie there in the darkness. Lying down was overall comfortable, at least at first. However, the agitation in my limbs filled me with this looming sense that I should be up and about. The open eyed visuals were more prominent now, appearing as great spiraling checkerboard fractals, rapidly spinning and morphing and pulsing and radiating in the dark, not in any bright colors but in muted cool tones. Everything seemed to have a rippling magenta aura. I became locked in introspection as I was tossing and turning on my bed, struggling to find any one position comfortable for long. My thoughts often turned dark and pessimistic and I was often struggling to reconcile my existence with the amount of suffering others experienced and potential suffering I could experience. My thoughts were always grounded and pragmatic though, and never risked spiraling out of control. I also found myself having to urinate quite frequently, sometimes encountering urinary retention despite this. After going I decided to rejoin my friends downstairs.

T4:15-Some friends come by and smoke. Socializing feels awkward but these are good friends whom I am comfortable with, so it ends up leveling out and feeling okay. I feel tweaked out, like the energy I had previously that I could devote to making verbose conversation had burned away and left me feeling lazy and slurred. Despite this I still physically felt very stimulated and speedy. After they leave, another friend arrives and doses LSD, adding to the collective madness of the setting. My one friend is heavily dissociated and loudly repeating words while my other is content to sit and stare blankly upwards, while yet another seems to be receding from reality all together. We play super smash bros, I find my ability somewhat improved, perhaps due to a faster reflex time and faster, twitchier fine motor movements for pressing buttons.

T4:40-One of my friends who is on LSD and is inexperienced with psychedelics accidentally makes a bit of a mess. I take them upstairs to give them a change of clothes and find they are lapsing in and out of being responsive and that they seem at times entirely unaware of the outside world. They are completely disconnected from reality and any sense of consequence, and that’s when I realize this person needs to be watched over by a sitter. I feel lucid enough to take up the role and also deal with the cleanup of the mess. Somehow I manage to quickly, calmly, and competently accomplish all of this, beyond my expectations of my functionality in any state. I end up having to knock my friend out with benzos and sedatives as their trip seemed to have taken a sour turn and they had wished for it to end quickly. After they are safely asleep I rejoin my other friends downstairs who seem a bit freaked out by what happened. The nausea has returned and is coming in waves again.

T5:20-As the night goes on we all smoke a great deal of cannabis. I am still phasing in and out of intense nausea and despite not having eaten all day I have absolutely zero appetite. I find myself still having to urinate often too. The shaking has not let up either, though I have my motor skills about me enough to roll a blunt by this point. Through the next few hours I feel the familiar pleasant feeling of a psychedelic afterglow, though the physical effects have only barely decreased from peak levels. I can form thoughts more eloquently and make connections better than normal, I feel witty, funny, competent, smart and confident. It feels deep and not superficial, and hanging out with my friends feels great as we joke and laugh all night. I do eventually feel like I have grown exhausting, to myself and others. I end up going to bed very late into the night despite having to wake up somewhat early the next day.

T14:00-I go to bed. Sleeping was difficult as I felt pretty wired mentally and it was very hard to get comfortable physically. Though it had died down substantially, I was still stricken with the nausea and the tremors and the agitation in my muscles.

T24:00-Almost a day later I am still feeling the physical effects, even though I have returned to my normal self mentally. I am still quite nauseous with some stomach discomfort and I still have to urinate frequently. I am still shaking a bit and the agitation still resides in my limbs, making it uncomfortable to sit still for too long. Mentally I feel drowsy and worn out all day, even after taking a nap. I later go to sleep early after starting to feel a cold coming on. My memory of the past day’s events is somewhat foggy, not as crystal clear as some of my memories on psychedelics are, especially with LSD.

Conclusion: This is certainly one of the most physically stimulating psychedelics I have taken, with the physical effects long outlasting any of the other effects. The amount of tremors and muscle agitation was unreal, though all of that would probably have felt more manageable if I was walking around or doing something other than sitting in my house all day. The nausea and stomach/abdominal cramps were definitely prominent throughout the experience, coming in waves and lingering like a slow burn well into the next day. There did not seem to be any empathogenic effects. There was mild cognitive enhancement with thoughts geared towards introspection. The visuals were very mild and unremarkable. Overall it was really not much more than a novel experience and I don’t see myself taking it again for any reason. 

2016 in Review

I guess this is going to be an annual tradition as long as I am mired in this swamp... I will inevitably stop this activity or run out of new drugs to try, but until then!
So uh, I did a great deal of drugs in 2016. I would consider this year the most concentrated year of my activities to date, at least in terms of rigorous study of new substances. I have thankfully reduced my level of casual abuse, which peaked the previous year, concurrent with worsening depression. A better mental state this year has meant more responsibly (although admittedly not entirely responsible) use. My mental health has vastly improved, mostly attributable to a wonderful support network and a relationship with someone that has lasted throughout most of the year. I am really truly and deeply in love and it has helped me wrangle my still tumultuous mental state better than I ever have before, this is not even the shallow confidence gained from someone adoring me, but an infinitely deeper level of improvement, introspection, enrichment, and support coming from someone who understands my mind at a fundamental level. I love you so incredibly much, and I am grateful for your presence in my life every single day.
This is the year I had the most hallucinogenic experiences, beating out 2015 by a margin of 20 experiences. This will probably be the peak of my use, as I am literally running out of new things to try and I am losing the energy, health, time, and wherewithal to pursue this as passionately as I once did. I have now had over 200 hallucinogenic experiences, and my quantity of tasted substances has reached 70.
Looking onwards, i still wish to pursue new substances at the very least, and to pursue a more refined and more strictly regimented pattern of casual use to enhance experiences or foment self-improvement and transhumanistic practice. I aim to end the casual abuse as it is detrimental to my health and fills me with feelings of guilt and unrequited hedonism. Although it is mighty mighty fun...  there are ways to have fun and have it still be useful and productive. As far as new combinations go, I wish to end the binging behavior I often find myself doing, where I am just impulsively stacking substances on each other without any real intent or direction. In the future, I wish to only do meticulously planned and calculated combinations. Most of this stems from a desire to continue producing reports. Having received some serious feedback on my reports, I aim to produce reports of superior quality and universal usefulness to the intrepid psychonaut, especially for the bank of new and rare substances that are beginning to rear their heads in the market.
Without revealing toooo much info, I will say that I have become an active participant in the inner workings of one of the most prominent websites for harm reduction and unbiased, pragmatic information on drugs. This has certainly helped to make me feel like the knowledge I have accrued is of some use and I am happy to be providing material gains to others through my passion and interest. This is something I wish to continue indefinitely, even beyond whenever I may stop my experiments.

Anyways, here's a power ranking of every new drug I tried this year. I'll take it from the top again. Full reports for all of these are in the sidebar.

1. 3-MeO-PCE: The #1 spot for the second year in a row is a dissociative, and more specifically, a delightful little arylcyclohexamine. 3-MeO-PCE presents as MXE's more functional cousin, leaning more towards the experience given by 3-MeO-PCP but improved in every way. Rather than the usual dissociative dumbing down, this one affects cognition almost like a psychedelic, vastly improving focus and cognitive ability. This one has some serious transhumanistic and therapeutic potential, and while quite rare, I now have a substantial quantity with which I can experiment. Euphoric, colorful, and truly shows the potential to improve my life and myself. I'm excited to further familiarize myself with this.

2. Diphenidine: My experiences with this chemical are apparently non-standard. It is strikingly similar to 3-MeO-PCE, although it strikes much more of an emotional and manic chord. This is a bit more dangerous than 3-MeO-PCE as I can definitely see the potential for going off the rails a bit. But damn does this one drill to my core and really make me think and feel in a way that feels uninhibited from my sober state. This is one to be used with the utmost caution, though its rewards seem bountiful and sweet.

3. 2C-C: As is going to be established repeatedly throughout this list, bodyload is truly one of the biggest hinderances to my experimentation. Some say to embrace it, to accept it, to feel the pain, but honestly after so many times that just no longer become interesting or productive. 2C-C has blessed me with experiences entirely free of any bodyload, and in its stead, it has a quite pleasurable feel in my flesh. It's sufficiently deep, analytical, and visual, and lacks the irritating stimulation that some of its cousins have. A delightful substance that is extremely useful in combinations.

4. 2C-I: I once presumed I had taken this in the early naive days of my experimentation, sold as LSD. I have since tasted a batch that is 100% confirmed to be this, and have had nothing but interesting experiences from it. It too is not too heavy on the body, and thus has found its way into my tool chest. What really places it high on my list is that when insufflated, I find myself struck with a deep focus that lets me complete any task quickly and efficiently without distraction, the way some described adderall to be. Most stimulants do not affect me much, so to find a drug that literally materially improves my functionality is a blessing. The visuals and psychedelic effects are icing on the cake.

5. Etizolam: My major qualm with benzodiazepines (I know its not technically one but judging by effects, it might as well be), is just how heavily they can affect memory for quite a period of time. Etizolam spares me that, being a short lasting experience that is more lucid in my memory than its cousins. The added bonus is that it doesn't leave me in a semi-blackout state for several days like some do (eg. clonazepam). It's useful for sleep, for acute stress and anxiety, for coming off trips, and is honestly pretty fun. I mustn't lose sight of the fact that its apparent relative benevolence is negated if I find myself binging on it recreationally.

6. Ephenidine: Ephenidine is another fairly psychedelic dissociative (see a pattern here?) that has given me my share of interesting experiences. It's a pretty standard experience that stands out for its euhporia, functionality, and deep colorful visuals and hole states. It simply lacks the emotional and cognitive depth of the other two dissociatives on this list so far, but is nonetheless a consistently enjoyable experience.

7. 2C-B-FLY: I only got one taste of this but damn what a good time. This is a drug that I would describe as overwhelmingly fun. The bodyload was a bit rough for parts of it, but no matter, this is a drug that filled me with joviality and unrestrained social capability. My cognitive processes and ability to interact with others was vastly improved, this drug is utilitarian and shows promise for use in social settings. It used to be cheap and readily available but I unfortunately missed my opportunity to acquire more. Oh well.

8. 5-APDB: To be entirely honest, I am not the biggest fan of empathogens. They are undeniably enjoyable, in fact they are the essence of enjoyment. The problem is, that enjoyment is so entirely detached from reality or any sort of pragmatic thought, it is a delusional fantasy that often leaves me feeling a bit silly and foolish in their wake. Also I just get really sappy and talkative and usually make a fool of myself. Nonetheless, I have had great times with this drug. I prefer it to MDMA because it lacks the stimulation and bodyload that MDMA can have sometimes.

9. Deschloroketamine: The first time I tried deschloroketamine I found myself elated, I had found an experience that was very very similar to my sweet golden MXE. There were a few slight differences, ones I considered minor at the time, but they would become glaring with repeated experiments. The main difference is energy level- while MXE is somewhat stimulating, Deschloroketamine destroys you, renders your body weak, impotent, and useless for a long while. While this is no issue while you're in the hole, the comedown is always draining and sluggish. The experience itself is quite enjoyable and euphoric, but the aftereffects are usually pretty rough.

10. DALT: This is a truly unique substsance, though its novelty only gives it a shred of merit. It's fun for casual use, for hanging out with friends, for throwing a relaxing psychedelic blanket on any experience, but it's simply too mild and too short acting to really stand out. It's just a slight taste of what could be a full experience and oftentimes just isn't worth the hassle of smoking it. As it stands, it is mostly just a novelty, but a pretty neat one at that.

11. Memantine: This is another one whose value mostly stems from novelty. It is incredibly long lasting, like multiple days long lasting. It's a marathon experience. While interesting, I'm not sure what merit to grant it, as it is one of the most fundamentally neutral things I have ever felt. It's intensely dissociating and oddly cold and clinical. I'm certain that I would not call it enjoyable or unenjoyable, it just is.

12. 4-HO-DPT: I had such high hopes for this one after what I had read online. This was my holy grail, and when it became available from a major vendor, I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, it turned out not to be up to the hype. Don't get me wrong, it is an interesting and enlightening experience that certainly glows in certain areas, namely psychedelic whimsy and enhanced cognition. But damn the bodyload is something hardcore, and administering it is by far the worst drug administration experience I've had. The chalky powder stings and clumps up in the nose, it smells putrid and the powder fluffs up all through the sinuses and throat, this is followed by intense nausea and overall discomfort. I really wish I could explore this further, but that's such an obstacle for me.

13. 2C-T-7: Similar to the last, this one yielded an incredibly interesting experience that covered a wide range of effects. It seems like this one gave me everything psychedelics could offer in one experience, and unfortunately that included crippling bodyload that lasted throughout the entire experience. Interesting, but once again, there are just major obstacles to me studying it further. The questionable safety profile is also a bit of an issue.

14. 2C-D: This is about as standard as a 2C-x experience could be, as if they were all averaged out into one. This unfortunately also included a rough bodyload, though nowhere near as intense and crippling as others. Overall, it was just short lasting and kind of uninteresting, there is nothing it does that other psychedelics don't do better. The one interesting tidbit was a sort of cognitive enhancement afterglow that lasted well into the next day, which was pretty delightful. It can apparently be used at low doses as a nootropic. I barely had any to play with though.

15. ALD-52: This is another one that held a lot of promise, but ended up being underwhelming in several ways. The main issues were once again, bodyload and just not particularly standing out as an experience in any way that would redeem it from that. It was certainly fun and my time on it was enjoyable, but it didn't stick out in any way that made me yearn to try it again. Suffering the discomfort it made me feel out in the woods wasn't too fun either.

16. ETH-LAD: Same as the last, I've heard most lysergamides are pretty similar and this was only subtly different from ALD-52. It too was rough on the body, and it too wasn't too interesting, although it's visuals were pretty unique. The big issue was that it really stymied social interaction, making everything awkward and really displaying quite the opposite effect to others like 2C-B-FLY. If I ever try this again it'll probably just be alone.

17. 2C-E: Opinion on 2C-E is torn. Shulgin spoke volumes of praise, while others recount their nightmarish and deeply uncomfortable experiences from it. I am apparently of the latter camp. It seems pretty dependent on the individual and consistent for that individual. The bodyload was the major offputting feature of this drug, as it just absolutely ravaged me and left me feeling deeply ill throughout and after the experience. That aside, it was interesting and had some pretty neat and enjoyable features, but in the end it was just too rough on me. I have entertained perhaps trying this one again just because it is so highly praised by some.

18. 5-MeO-DALT: This was just an uncomfortable experience from every angle. Bodyload was uniquely terrible, with nausea and really frequent urination. The experience was just odd, unsettling, and disquieting. The worst part of it though was that it seemed to instill an absolute inability to focus. My thoughts were racing faster than I could possibly maintain and it made for a deeply unsettling night of pacing and stressful discomfort.

19. O-PCE: I have taken this one a good bunch of times, I do not know why. Every time I regret it. This is pure dissociation, pure, debilitating dissociation that just completely wipes me every time, annihilating my functionality and dismantling my ability to do anything. It is long lasting and just completely unrelenting, it holds my head under the water and doesn't let me take a single breath for its entire 3-4 hour peak. There is no focusing or snapping out of it, once you are subjected to this drug you are completely under its control for as long as it desires. If any drug could make me fuck up my life accidentally, it would be this one.

20. Glaucine: And now we reach the bottom of the barrel. This is my absolute least favorite drug, it is responsible for the most irredeemably awful drug experience I have had. Even my out of control nightmare psychedelic experiences have some value to them, this was just a waste of my time and mental energy. This was just a hallucinated depressive episode, where I found myself writhing with discomfort just begging for it to end. It's a nonstandard hallucinogen that doesn't really match the receptor activity of any others, and my god it just sucked all the way through. The bodyload was rough, the mental load was rough, even coming off of it didn't feel entirely good. Just a stressful and entirely unenjoyable substance.

So that's it, that's my list for this year. I excluded a few that were too minor in their effects to really be placed with these other substances. Also, I excluded a few that are certainly powerful substances, but I simply have only had minor experiences so far that are not worth writing. These ones all warrant further exploration at higher doses.
-5-MeO-DMT
-AMT
-2C-iP


Happy new year to you all. Thanks for reading.

Memantine

Age: 21

Weight: 120 lbs

Dosage: 150 mg oral

Setting: My apartment

T0:00-Fifteen 10 mg memantine pills ingested. A quick shower was taken.

T0:30-First notes arise, a very slight feeling of dissociation and dizziness melding with a sense of joviality and euphoria. I feel giggly and excited, perhaps from the slight nibble of feeling I have contracted, or perhaps from some deeper chemical enhancement.

 T0:40-The dissociation now manifests as cold, clinical, and clean. It’s a very pure detachment, with numbness in my extremities and a sense of distance relative to my surroundings, both on a physical and cognitive level. The comeup has been very gradual, like I am slowly sinking into a sterile icy pool.

T1:00-Visuals begin to appear. They come in the form of an all-consuming array of spots and dots overlaid on every surface I gaze upon, little concentric circles of rainbow colors. Otherwise, the experience is fairly lucid and stimulating so far, in contrast to some other dissociatives that rush in like a paralytic flash flood. The progressive numbing of my extremities seems to be creeping towards its apex while my sense of proprioception collapses and dissolves. It feels as though my consciousness is in a balloon that is slowly rising from my body as it expands, lifted by a vestigial bastion of warmth in my core. Cognitively, a slight touch of deeper emotion, empathogenesis, and euphoria trickles in. It’s not quite to the effect of other drugs like MDMA, but is definitely greater relative to other dissociatives.

T1:30-I am very very dissociated, and the burgeoning experience shows no signs of slowing down or letting up. The dissociation is heavily mental, with a feeling of detachment from language, semiotics, cultural constucts, and other societal essences of humanity. I feel mechanical and icy, like a chilly golem. This difficulty understanding words and sentences is coupled with a faltering short term memory, making conversation difficult. Physically, I am still functional, I can get up and walk and carry things with no issue. Thus, it is in no way a ‘hole’ experience yet. I am slightly nauseous and am rapidly alternating between feeling too warm or too cold. The visuals begin to appear as patterns, still composed of dots, like a pointillist painting. These dots are distributed in orderly and harmonious configurations, seemingly dictated by some underlying mathematical arrangement. Blocky shapes in this meticulous order also begin to appear.

T2:00-I am dissociated to the point where typing is difficult, and closing my eyes leads to a total loss of coordination and sense of bodily presence. If I focus, I can snap out of it briefly and poke my head above the surface, but with my mind at rest, my thoughts begin to wander exponentially into the distance, blurring to sheer static nothing. It feels almost psychedelic in that the visuals have kicked up to the point of uncontrollably interrupting my perceptions. It is very difficult to focus on one thing for long, leaving me in that default state of my mind drifting off into the abyss.  My short term memory has been compromised further, rendering conversation near impossible. The bodily feel that was shifting randomly between hot and cold has finally settled on cold, with a sterile frost shuddering through me.

T2:40-I smoke a joint. I feel like I am floating a few inches above my head, and that there are curtains of red and green cellophane draped around the room, creating blocks of altered color in my vision. Every time my focus breaks and my mind wanders, I am not only drifting into the distance and fading away, but now I am being entombed, sequestered into a little bubble or chamber that provides a sort of tangible separation between myself and the rest of existence. Reading is very difficult, especially due to the fact that the words and letters seem to be hovering an inch off of the screen at random. My body feels like it is folding along angular lines, forming into some sort of prism.

T3:00-Still feeling cold, I retreat to my bedroom to grab a sweater but decide to stay up there for a bit to ride out the raging peak of this trip alone. The orderly visuals adorn every surface, dancing and pulsing in calculated, mechanistic unison. It appears as though everything is lit from below by a purple light with no discernible source, everything appears futuristic, shiny, and weird. My thoughts are disorganized and arbitrary, and they often wither before they can fully develop, leaving me feeling a state of total flat neutrality, my cognitive processes reduced to impotent static. I feel like a cold city skyline at night, seen from a great distance. When I close my eyes I am hit with a ghost image of the room that appears to be composed of a collage of numbers, letters, and other odd symbols. If I lie down with my eyes closed long enough, this dissolves into a great black and purple swath of something or nothing. Eventually this scene becomes occupied by characters, odd blocky humanoid figures composed of dense sections of random numbers, moving jerkily and going about their seemingly normal everyday activities, such as sitting at a laptop, or walking around their plane aimlessly. These beings do not really present in any discernible way- not good, or evil, benevolent, kind, caring, not even indifferent, they simply exist, like I am watching them through a screen, witness to them but entirely separated. I do not care about them, and they do not care about me, and it is alright. I return downstairs to find myself further physically impaired, with my sense of momentum and proprioception heavily compromised. Talking has now become difficult due to being unable to feel my mouth, and thus being unaware of how to properly use it to form phonetic sounds. I am pulsing like a jellyfish and my field of vision is being sliced into blocks that begin to separate from each other and form into 3-d cubes.

T3:20-The open eyed visuals peaked around now, with complex 3-dimensional patterns appearing on surfaces with mottled textures. Most notable were squiggly fractal patterns that resembled bone sutures or ammonitic sutures that begin to very clearly spawn on my ceiling. I found myself with my head lazily thrown back, slack jaw hanging open staring aimlessly at the ceiling. These patterns were not even moving or breathing or shifting, they were simply there, static and bold. Moving my eyes around left tessellated rainbow afterimages of everything, their forms fringed by this same squiggly suture pattern. It feels like everything is covered in spiderwebs and when I move I am disturbing some tentative stringy connection with everything else in the room. That I am anchored in some way to every surface and I feel a slight elastic resistance to every movement, as if the drug is gently but sternly suggesting that I remain still, static, slack and frozen.

T5:30-Continue to hang out and smoke more weed. I mostly just feel stoned at this point.

T8:45-Smoke even more. This time however, it seems like I have really stirred up the dust. I feel like I am suddenly and rapidly being drawn away from myself.

T9:00-Now, 9 hours into the experience, with the help of cannabis, I have entered a sort of a hole. I have curled up on the couch next to my friends and closed my eyes and become entirely separated from the reality they inhabit.

The hole began with a great golden pulsating concentric angular patterns across my eyelids. This soon became wiped aside by a great black abyss, which was soon speckled with explosions and splatters of little white dots, like CRT static or a blizzard. The abyss began to fold up into a network of cylindrical shapes and tubes, still streaked and battered with this onslaught of white particles. These forms then became cut and partitioned, it felt like my mind was being split into sections and separated into its various components. At last this visage shattered to reveal a vast infinite forest of spindly conifer trees, arranged in an eternal field of fractal patterns. I found myself hovering above it, then wandering amongst the trees, the sky above deep and infinitely black, no stars or clouds or anything. The white particles became a raging blizzard, the snow swirling and blowing around me and grating away at my vision. The ground was white with a shallow accumulation of snow. The forest was not scary, or uncomfortable, like everything else this trip it was fundamentally neutral. There was no fear in my heart, no sense of being lost or out of place, simply a sense of being somewhere new. It almost felt magical, and the mystery and majesty of the vastness bathed me in the glory of exploration. Upon opening my eyes and returning to the hole, I found myself immediately back among the forest, not having to navigate the convoluted entry process again. As time progressed I found myself entering a different sort of hole, a more abstract space where I was able to generate clear imagery in my mind, though without constant focus these would soon decay into rainbow concentric ripples and lose their form.

T13:00-Was down enough to go for a walk to a convenience store with my friends. Still felt pretty distant and not entirely stable on my feet, and interacting with the cashier/sharing space with strangers was difficult and awkward.

T14:00-I mostly just feel stoned now, but the visuals are presenting still. It’s the same rainbow suture patterns, now moving and breathing and subtly rippling. I end up falling asleep around now with little trouble.

T24:00-I wake up the next day, still feeling dizzy and out of it. This persists through the entire day, I have difficulty balancing and staying properly on my feet. Smoking brings back a similar feeling of dissociation, though definitely not to the same degree, and lacking in the visual aspect.

T48:00-I am still feeling it the next day. I feel separated from the world, as if I am watching everything on a TV screen. I am a bit off balance still, but find interacting with people smoother and easier.

T52:00-I can finally say I am down about now.

Conclusion: This drug is certainly fascinating. Not entirely enjoyable or fun, except for some tinges of euphoria at the beginning, rather it just felt fundamentally and deeply neutral. It’s essence was elusive and mysterious, it felt as though it was a drug that existed at the fringes of consciousness that simply was not meant to be understood. The cold and wintry essence of infinity that it contained was perhaps a symptom of the cold winter day, but the depths of the experience were certainly isolating and chilly. The afterglow is very very long and left me feeling off-balance for days.