2022 In Review

2022 was the single most eventful, trajectory-shifting year of my life. A lot happened. I got married to the love of my life and we live happily together. My nephew was born, the first of his generation of our family. I have had calm, reasonable discussions with my parents about drug use and our relationship is better than it has ever been. I was in the bridal party for the wedding one of my closest friends. Another one of my closest and oldest friends and recurring character in many of my reports moved several states away. I got super into Warhammer 40k, it eats up a lot of my time and energy now :p I had a sanctuary room built into my house as a wedding present and it is my paradise. I have actually finally met more of my online drug friends and fans in person which is super cool.

I lost one of my dearest friends to a drug overdose. I still have trouble grappling with their absence and will love them forever.

Perhaps most relevant and what has actually changed my life directly the most (getting married is a big deal but functionally very little changed in our lives!), I began working at a lab that specializes in the study of novel psychoactive compounds, especially psychedelics and dissociatives. To say I am honored that I get to be a part of this research is an understatement, it is the opportunity of a lifetime and I am blessed beyond measure that I had the fortune to find this position. I work entirely with chemistry, with synthesizing novel dissociatives. Chemistry is not my strong suit and it is not my background but nonetheless I persist. I have learned so much in my year in this position- it is a revolutionary workplace where drug use can be discussed openly and candidly, with dedicated passionate people on all sides who are making incredible discoveries every day. Everyone has been more than accommodating with me, a relative outsider and neophyte in the field. I am extremely excited for when we publish the projects I have been working on and I can discuss them publicly! (For now though, please do not pry me about any of our work- I will share it when I am allowed!) As much as I am passionate about drugs, about studying them and learning about their effects, about structure-activity relations and the vast taxonomy contained within- I think this has asserted that this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, for my entire career. I am lacking so much foundation in organic chemistry and pharmacology that ultimately just makes me feel like I am treading water over an immense void every day. The work is exceptionally challenging in a way that doesn't feel manageable or sustainable for me. Perhaps this was an experiment to see if an outsider can be taught organic chemistry on the job- and I guess the answer is, I can follow directions, I can complete tasks as instructed, but I don't REALLY know what I'm doing. I don't know what is happening on a fundamental level, I cannot discuss theories or really conceive alternate solutions or explanations for when I observed things not happening as predicted (the vast majority of the time, as chemistry dictates). And it's silly to complain about, after all I have not really put in concerted effort to learn these fundamentals on the side. Perhaps at a different point in my life I would have been more than capable, but the drive and passion and motivation isn't there for me. I am mentally exhausted at the end of every day and usually just want to get home and do drugs. I have realized that ultimately, among all the passion and study, what I like most about drugs is just taking them. I am feeling my age, which is still relatively very young, but I very much do not have the time and mental energy I had when I was younger. Perhaps this is more a function of working full time and just not being able to adapt to that lifestyle- I am a born housewife admittedly. I am not sure if this is a field in which I will continue- my true passion still lies with zoology, particularly entomology or marine invertebrate zoology. I love the creatures of this world and their infinite beauty and diversity more than anything, it is one of the few things that still stirs a deep passion in me, where I feel like I could comfortably do the work indefinitely- and more importantly, it is a field where I feel like a have a definite foundation, where I am confident in my knowledge and understanding and eager to learn more, where I feel competent and well-applied. 

I am probably never going to leave the world of drugs behind, I just like them too much. This project *gestures to entire blog* will continue indefinitely, though I would expect the rate of posting to slow even more. But perhaps I will leave this world behind someday- it quickly feels like it is reaching a point of complete unsustainability. I have crossed that cursed bridge of using dissociatives just about daily, and it is very difficult to go back. Even on days when I don't use them I probably use some other drug, like benzos, misc GABAergics, gabapentinoids or opioids. I am chronically bored and understimulated, yet also chronically tired and burned out, and drugs are the only relief from both. My dissociative tolerance is creeping up. I feel I can no longer accurately report doses of things anymore, and the experiencecs with individual drugs are largely blending together into a general dissociative slush ranging from heavy-stimulating. I worry that I will not be able to report on new compounds with the detail and resolution that I was able to before. I don't like this trajectory, and I don't know any way off of it. I don't remember what it is like to live sober anymore. I get depressed and moody when I can't access my drugs of choice. I am fully, undeniably, addicted now. So long as I have access, I will use them regularly and compulsively. I do not know how I will behave if I do not have access. That situation has not presented itself yet. The only way I can forsee this concluding, unfortunately, is coming to a head and having it cause some sort of catastrophe that forces my hand in one way or another. Until then, I have established a new sickly equilibrium, a baseline comfort that is very very very hard to break. I am making a concerted effort to break out of my dissociative stasis and revisit psychedelics, especially now that I have the space to do so. 

I haven't written much this year, just a handful of reports. Lizard Labs running into legal troubles and now ending most of their dissociative production capability is a big blow to morale. Sourcing things has become increasingly difficult. I guess what I am most proud of writing is this bio-characterizing of the wholly novel dissociatives POxP and PThP.  I would love to see these explored further.

I don't think I will ever do as many new drugs as I did in 2021 and that is okay. That is not even remotely sustainable. 31 is still a lot though, this is my second biggest year in that regard. As I do every year, I am going to rank every new drug I tried in 2022. Have fun!

1.FXE - FXE is fantastic. It's not that deep. It's a lot of fun though. I can't think of a more perfect party drug. It is another attempt to hit that MXE bullseye but it also misses, because nothing will be MXE. But it works well on its own. Its forgiving, stimulating, casual and fun, I could do this forever. It's so great. It can be profound if you really force it to be. It is not as profound as DMXE. But it doesn't need to be that, sometimes you just wanna have fun with your friends.

2. 1,4-BDO - GHB, 1,4-BDO, GBL, its all the same. This is a lovely compound for casual use, just quite dangerous in its interactions. I would describe it as Alcohol combined with MDMA without the negative qualities of either (the overstimulation, the nausea and headaches). Aphrodisiac, nostalgic, heavy and comfortable.

3. 1D-LSD - The 1-substituted LSD analogues are interchangeable but this is by far the most potent one that has been made. I love LSD. So I love this. Very simple.

4. Bromazepam - The benzodiazepine that is probably the most reminiscent of etizolam. Euphoric, not too sedating, medium duration, what's not to love.

5. Fluclotizolam - A benzo that is both useful and fun! Great to get to sleep quickly with no hangover. Pleasant and euphoric for just hanging out otherwise. Very agreeable.

6. Isopropylphenidine - Bright, visual, functional diarylethylamine. Notable for how easily I could slip between a heavy dissociative experience and full functionality.

7. Hydromorphone - Short warm simple opioid. Yum. 

8. TMA-2 - Intense and bright and colorful and so so so euphoric but god damn is it all tempered by a vicious body load. 

9. DOC - An incredibly vast and challenging psychedelic. Heavy body load. Intense in a way I haven't experienced in a while. This is beyond the realm of rankings of favorites, just a hefty drug in general, fascinating but so mighty.

10. Deschloroetizolam - Medium length benzodiazepine, but very neutral in terms of euphoria or sedation or anything. Grey, middle of the road, but not bad in any way, still nice.

11. Lemborexant - Makes me sleep. Nothing else. Useful. Can have grogginess the next day though.

12. 4-MetMP - More or less reminded me of 4F-MPH. Same issues with side effects at higher doses. 

13. HHC - Sleepy alt cannabinoid, nothing too exciting

14. Tapentadol- It is an opioid that makes me hear voices. Nice enough I guess. Kinda unnerving.

15. 2B-DCK- What if you just took ketamine and made it less potent  and also shorter lasting. This is one for enthusiasts of snorting enormous quantities of powder. If you're not into that there isn't much value here. Not really any unique qualities. Bulkier halogens are diminishing returns.

16. Propylhexedrine- Bitter benzedrex, I don't like stimulants, I don't like this one. Mostly uncomfortable.

17. Nalbuphine- Definitely an opioid but it just made me feel bad. Straight up dysphoric. Sad as hell.

18. Zopiclone- Feels kinda like zolpidem but not as fun. I got *that* side effect, where everything tastes like bitter metal for the next 24 hrs. Not worth it.

19. PCM- I snorted it and it just hurt and tasted bad and nothing happened. On paper it's psychoactive though. I'll let someone else figure it out.

Needs further exploration:

P2AP - Adamantane analogue of PCP (Adamantane instead of the cyclohexane), I have been titrating this up very slowly and steadily but honestly it scares me. The duration could be immense. It might be a powerful anticholinergic etc. I feel bad, I was not a very good test subject for this, I keep procrastinating on working the dose up.

Desalkylgidazepam - I just wasn't able to find consistent information on this one so I didn't know where to start. I don't have the time or motivation to dose titrate benzos.

Emylcamate - No one likes this one. I am working on finding out why. Not eager to do that though.

2-TFM-Diphenidne - Maybe threshold effects at 120 mg. Maybe not. Need to explore further.

O-PCiPr - It's a dissociative, that is all I can say for now.

Tofisopam - Supposedly the anxiolytic effects of benzos without the sedative or amnesic effects. I haven't given the time to exploring it.

Promethazine - Combined it with codeine pills for uhh I guess you would call it solid lean. Haven't taken it by itself.

3'-MXP - I am not confident this is active. That 3' denotes that the methoxy group is on the benzyl ring, not the alpha phenyl ring like MXP. 

PCPy - Was sent a small sample of this. I am not sure why I haven't explored it earnestly, I think I forgot, this is a good reminder! I tried it once, it felt similar to 3-Me-PCP but I didn't catch a lot of the details.

Banisteria caapi  - I smoke it. It has an interesting light stimulating effect and something else that's hard to place. But I haven't dived too deep.

Muscimol - A. muscaria extract that was decarboxylated to yield primarily muscimol. We truly live in the future! I have found it to mostly just be sedating, in the way that benadryl is sedating. Need to explore higher doses.

NEP- Honestly I only took it while I was already on benzodiazepines. I am not sure. I think it was fun though.

1D-LSD

 Age: 27

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 150 µg on tab, sublingual

Setting: Going for a long walk on a rainy but not too cold December day

 

Preface:
So the battle rages on, a 1-substituted LSD analogue is made, it is banned, another is made. The 1-site of the molecule has become contested territory. We have seen the whole host of compounds based on this theme: 1F-LSD, ALD-52, 1P-LSD, 1cP-LSD, 1B-LSD, 1V-LSD, they’ve all been wonderful and successful.

1-Substituted LSD analogues are well understood to be prodrugs of LSD, in other words, the compound that the user would obtain is a legal analogue of LSD, but upon ingestion, their body would convert it to LSD, yielding an LSD experience. While I have tried to nitpick the differences between them, ultimately I wonder if that can just be chalked to set and setting, as the same thing is happening pharmacologically in all cases. Any carbonyl alkane can be strapped into the 1- position. The human body cleaves that group off, leaving behind pure LSD to enter the brain. These carbonyl groups have grown bigger and bigger. The lysergamides are locked in an ever-turning wheel of combat with Germany’s Novel Psychoactive Substances law. It is an arms race where one substitution gets banned, only to be replaced with another larger substitution that circumvents whatever new stipulations the law puts in place. The latest competitor is 1D-LSD, the largest 1-substitution yet.

1D can mean a lot of things, but in this case it means 1-Dimethylcyclobutyl- an obscure moiety that has never been seen in a psychedelic before. It is a hefty cyclobutyl group with methyls on the 1 and 2 positions. It's such an odd structure that it is hard to describe, here is a picture. This probably opens the door to switching those methyls around to wherever one pleases.  Just another entry in the endless game!

­Sadly, the lab producing these brilliant analogues ran into legal difficulties, jeopardizing the further development of this fascinating progression of 1-substituted lysergamides analogues. A safe supply of chemicals was cut off from the world at the behest of the long shadow of the American Drug war. A man sought to make psychedelics more accessible to those who would heal and benefit from them in the face of nonsensical laws, he pushed forward research on the metabolism and effects of different lysergamides, he only sought to expand our knowledge in so many different ways, and now he must suffer under the heel of the ever-stampeding drug war. What cruel times we live in. 1D-LSD may very well be a ghost of now bygone era as we sail warily into the new dark.

Nevertheless- This is an exciting drug. It is perhaps the most potent 1-substituted LSD analogue I have ingested. Assuming the tabs are indeed ~150 µg, this is a hefty experience, probably getting close to the potency of actual LSD. The experience is vast and extensive.

 

T0:00 – Dose taken at home. The tab has an uncharacteristically slight bitter taste. I am with a group of friends- J and C, my longest time partners in crime with whom I have taken many many different research chemicals. Joining us is E and M, who are just taking strong cannabis edibles. J opted for classic mushrooms this time, C wants to revisit his old favorite, 2C-B. Our plan is to just aimlessly walk around the city where we all live. It is a wet day, breezy but not too cold, sometimes the sun tears through the clouds as they rush past high in the sky. Our first stop is to see the campus of the college where we had all graduated and formed so many drug-fueled memories, now that we had been away for years. I am a bit anxious, but in high spirits from the previous night’s dissociative-fueled debauchery. C and M had slept over.

 

T0:20- Getting ready to leave the house- perhaps the first hints of an experience? Or maybe a bit of placebo.

T0:40- We are walking to the subway station, the first notes are more definite, warmth and a little bit of a buzz,

T0:50- I can really feel It start to hit me as we wait for the subway. It is raining on and off all day, water leaks down the walls and the tiles are slaked with wet grime. All around is cold metal and dirty air. I feel like a little wide-eyed creature of the tunnels. There is a familiar psychedelic sense of energy pulsing through my limbs, a detached awkwardness with my friends, a bit of nausea stirring in my gut. When I look at the subway tiles ornate paisley floral patterns start to form. I sit quietly, taking in the space of the sooty echoes and sounds of drips around me.

T1:00- I am on the subway now, I am confined and uncomfortable but I am amongst friends. I am definitely experiencing my experience the most intensely out of all of them for now. So much activity stirs around me, it all seems shifted out of order by the grey sky of the surface above. I just curl up in my seat and take in my surroundings.

The chromed metal all over catches the light around it, the drug in my brain catches this light and sets it into motion, a shimmering swirl of glints and shines and quicksilver swirls. Grainy two-dimensional floral patterns slowly crawl across the grimy floor. Everyone around me is pulsing with energy, like migraine auras hovering over their forms. The visuals are still pastel, translucent, only apparent upon focus. It’s hard for me to maintain conversation with my friends. Nausea gently wells through me; a warm tension rolls down my limbs. I can’t wait to be back outside.

T1:05- We get off of the subway, we are back in our old haunt- so many days spent confused, lost, miserable, arrogantly feeling like I had figured the world out already, heartbreak and a deep void of depression, drug fueled hedonism and precious time with friends and lovers- the day is plain and grey now. We break onto the surface and take stock of things- in just a few short years everything looks different, we hardly recognize our environs, no one is here because it is the weekend. The world is spinning and flowing around me like a great breeze swirling leaves around my form. I feel compelled to only walk forward, concentric forms start to crackle from the wet concrete buildings, there are jolts of electricity in my skull.  

T1:15- I sit down and the intensity sets in like a fogbank smothering a skyscraper. We are in the central square of campus, sitting, laughing, joking, reminiscing. The sky is grey above, stratus clouds sit in strips and stripes and blocky spiraling forms churn within these, like an abstracted freeform of the art of Mesoamerican indigenous peoples. They crackle with shy flashes of teal and pink, it all drifts and flows with weight and purpose. I stare at the ground and the concrete forms itself into fronds and spirals and swirls, bold lines and hard angles adorn in their spaces, slowly growing and blossoming. There is not much energy or restlessness or stimulation in the visuals or in my limbs, I am content to sit down, I feel like I am just basking in the experience like a sauna. It is hard to type notes, my fingers feel cold and tight, my skin looks magenta and traced with patterns of bars of color, my phone bends away from me. I would consider this a pretty intense experience. My thoughts are going everywhere, pursuing the depths of anything mentioned in passing. Every word generates a vivid image in my mind, to the detriment of actually understanding conversation. It still feels like it is building, I am still coming up.

 

T1:40- We walk through the neighborhood back to the old house where we all used to live at various points (I was the only constant). More than half of the reports I have written took place in this house. As I walk down the streets the clouds look ever so more energetic, like great creeping caravans of megafauna grazing their way across the sky. The late afternoon light catches the swirls of my visuals in all of its warmth and illuminates them, it is a glorious scene, I am with such nice friends, the day is being swept by gusts of euphoria. The world feels bent around me, like I am surrounded by a great crystalline wind that filters my perceptions into one of colors and motion. There is a spring in my step, a sense that the sky is a great glass dome above, we talk and joke, huddled up and impervious to the strangers walking around us.

The neighborhood looks completely different in the face of monolithic gentrification. I guess you can’t really go back. We post up outside our old house, we wonder who lives there now, I wonder what energies we had laid into the house. I try and project myself through time, imagine myself there so many times, on so many drugs, in so many emotional states, but I can’t, it doesn’t resonate, that part of my life is so far gone. It makes me sad to not be able to go back, even in this form, with my mind so raw and vulnerable, it makes me sad I cannot feel this space, that this is all it was, a physical structure of brick and wood and concrete, just like any other. I guess we didn’t leave any energy behind, just a mess of scavenged junk and animal bones and improvised weapons that were too difficult to move out. We sigh and decide to take a long walk back to my house. My emotions are raw and I feel sensitive, not in an anxious vulnerable way but in a way of comfort and acceptance in being among deeply familiar company. The intensity at last feels like it has reached its peak. I am immersed into this experience as fully as I can be. I can still walk, I feel functional, I feel nauseous and uncomfortable, and I realize I will be in motion for what is to be the most intense part of an already intense experience.

T2:00- Walking through the neighborhood, I have a destination in mind and I am navigating everybody there. I am still competent enough to do that least. I am flustered though, there is a great whirlwind around me in a million colors, my brain is cast about its currents and the world is buffered from me by a psychedelic haze. Little spots of visuals try and eke out an existence everywhere I look, eyespots with angular tendrils surrounding them, blossoming spiraling forms, adding chromatic traceries to the otherwise dulled greys of the day. I feel like I am 18 again. I try to take notes while walking, I’m walking very fast, it is very hard to type. My hands don’t’ look the shape they should, they don’t feel or move the way they should, it all feels like extra steps have been added to otherwise simple processes. I am content to let it overtake me and crawl about me, I am happy to submit myself to the drug in public, so long as I can still walk and appear normal. I take in so much of what is around me, my thoughts circle back on themselves, analyze themselves, leaving me in a half-attentive daze as I move. And yet so many beautiful things from the world stick out to me, one particular graffiti tag, the color of a car briefly contrasted with the bridge it drives under, a brief flare of music from another passing car, it is a world of ornate details and I am blessed to just walk by gathering theses sensations in my wake. Auditory effects are mostly nondescript- I feel often when I take psychedelics in public the ambient city noises around me will doppler and reverberate and echo, but I am not noticing much of that this time around.

Nausea wells up in my as I walk, I fight with all my might to hold it down. I am walking fast, not stopping, I feel like I am trying to outrun the full weight of this experience. I am talking with J a bit but I am mostly just in my public solitude, marveling at the swirling world before me, marveling at the patches of peach sunlight, the golden beams they cast down on the shimmering buildings below. The sky is still great glassy dome reflecting and refracting light in a perpetual dance down upon us. Everything is in its place, everything is as it should be and is altered as it needs to be, everything is beautiful. I am physically uncomfortable but enraptured in comfort. My friend remarks that the sky looks so weird today, in a poetic sense.

 

T2:30- We reach our next destination, a stretch of abandoned elevated rail line that is densely rusted and graffitied and overgrown, easily accessible through a hole in a fence near my old house. We slip in one by one and climb a steep hill of wet railroad ballast. Climbing through fences and up steep wet hills is betraying our age. We walk right through the living room of a homeless encampment but no one is home. Everything is damp and the sky is a great golden pink above, the filtered misty light carrying a gentle luminosity down to every slick wet surface. We laugh and joke as we walk the tracks, everyone is in high spirits, no one is really feeling their drugs other than the people who took edibles. I am having the most intense experience by far.
I sit down and the full weight of my rolling peak crashes down on me, greater than before. The distant sky is spirals tumbling into each other. The buildings around me shimmer into polychromatic ghost images. The plants shift and embrace and entwine around me, the ballast below my feet smears and shifts and bulges with tints of red and blue and green. I am dizzy and it feels like a great rainbow void in the sky above is swirling a funnel cloud vortex into my skull, in the most benign way that can happen. A shiver runs down my back, I am sweaty, my hands are clammy and angular polygons form and unform and drift faintly on my skin. The world is huge, the wind is beautiful and the buildings around me sigh and heave in gentle repose. This is wonderful.
I haven’t been talking much and when I do try to talk it is awkward, I am not too articulate and I have a hard time getting my thoughts across. I am usually quite articulate on psychedelics actually, so this impairment is a testament to the intensity of the experience. I am the de facto guide for this area since I’m the only one who has been here in recent memory, but I struggle to articulate directions to the rest of the group. We end up hanging around an abandoned substation for a bit, picking through the wet trash, loitering about on the rusty machinery, joking and chiding. I smoke a bit of cannabis. Everyone seems happy with where we are, I am happy with where we are.

T:245- We sit on a pile of railroad ties at the end of the line. We’re al laughing and joking now about God knows what. We’re all cracking up, I am laughing until tears are streaming down my face. Always such a good feeling on psychedelics, always glad to have humor in an experience. After this we set out, immersing ourselves in the city’s Chinatown. It is hectic and I have to push around the crowded sidewalks. All of the people I see around me look so odd in different ways in their various groups and social circles and gaggles, and I’m sure we look strange too. It feels like the experience has subdued itself so I can navigate this setting competently. We decide to stop by E’s house for a breather and just to check it out, since it’s right on the way back.

3:10- Being back inside is disorienting. I am sweating a lot. Colored patterns sear and pulse into every wall around me, steaming like they are being baked in, just raw crackling high heat psionic energy. Textures drift and move up and down the hallways. I am enthralled standing in the tiled elevator and staring at the swirling patterns on the floor. I lay down and let my pitiful muscles and bones rest. The apartment is cozy with a beautiful view north towards the city. I still feel like I am pretty reliably peaking. The quiet in the space is heavy and glowing, contrasted to the hustle and bustle and noise of the city outside. Every little thought I have I want to engage and examine and follow through to wherever it leads me, but I also just do not feel the energy for that. After catching our breath, we set out again.

3:20- Uh oh. E can’t find his keys. Me and C and M sit in the hallway outside the elevator while E and J look. The visuals sit heavy while I sit there still and quiet. The pattern on the carpet drifts and shifts, forms twirl and intertwine, splatters of color flash into the walls. I am filled with a sharp articulate euphoria, I can talk easier now and socialize better. There is still this innate sense of being where I need to be. After about 15 minutes of waiting we realize the situation may be more dire than we first thought- E’s keys are nowhere to be found. Him and J have searched the apartment up and down, in and on and under every surface, We all join the frantic search, searching the same places 5, 6 times. Brainstorming new places to look. It becomes an engaging activity for all, we interrogate this man like the police but it is to no avail. We eventually have to make the heartbreaking decision to leave him behind as he wouldn’t be able to get back into his apartment until Monday. Adding insult to injury, it is now pouring rain outside.

(E would find his keys in his trash the next day somehow)

T4:00- We set out to walk the rest of the way back to my house. Rain is coming down in curtains, the streets are aglow with neon lights and reflected puddles, bright lights illuminate the markets and storefronts as the rain cascades off their awnings in in glowing glassy beams. We are instantly soaked to the bone, we trudge forth, all we can do is laugh at how ridiculous our circumstances are, we lost a friend, we are soaked, what a bummer. The rain and the lights are beautiful in this state, but we are drowned rats. Our path is interrupted by a goddamn parade of all things, extremely bright lights catching the raindrops, marchers who seem unsure of whether to continue in the deluge, it is all such a surreal scene, a perfect compliment to the bizarre headspace I am inhabiting. It is all chaos and deluge and a storm of god tossing us about for heaven knows what incomprehensible prank. We just try to rush home.

T4:30- Back home, we are soaked to the bone. I quickly coordinate dry clothes and towels for my friends and a pile to dry their wet clothes. It feels nice to be competent and in control, to be a good host, to make my space hospitable. I am definitely much further down in my experience now. The room is stuffy and I throw the doors open to let in fresh cool air. After the whirlwind of activity and sweat and water and mess, it is blissful to be in my own home again, my two wily cats slinking around in their own ways, it’s a warm bustle of activity vibrating the room with orange energy. We loiter around and recover from our long walk. Another friend arrives.

 

T5:00- We smoke 2 joints in the back yard. I am down enough that this doesn’t stir the dust of the experience much. My spouse arrives home shortly after this. We lie around talking about our lives, Warhammer 40k lore, gentle and joking.

T7:00- Mostly down. My friends have all left.

T10:00- Feeling a residual euphoric glow in the absence of other effects. I am filled with adoration for my spouse. It is a pleasant and coherent headspace.

T12:00- Back to baseline.

 

Conclusion: 1D-LSD is another fine addition to the growing ledger of 1-substituted LSD analogues. This is by far the most potent 1-substituted LSD analogue I have tried. To answer the biggest questions- yes it will yield an experience similar to LSD, and the tabs dosed at 150 µg offer a substantial experience that is not to be taken lightly- in fact for the inexperienced I would recommend not even consuming an entire tab. It bore all the hallmarks of a lysergamide- patterned intentional visuals, teal-pink color schemes, a long duration with a drawn out euphoric stimulating afterglow, analytical, sentimental, profound and joyous headspace. This is certainly a compound that offers a worthwhile experience.

The global war on drugs cuts the head off of another hydra, and for now it seems the possibilities for 1-substituted carbonyl alkanes that metabolize into LSD are near endless- one simply needs to mix and match the carbons as they see fit. There seems to be no upper limit on bulk- in fact it seems bulk increases potency. To constant adaptation, and to freedom for friends near and far.

 

 

POxP

 Age: 26

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 350 mg oral

Setting: My house

 

POxP is a complete novelty that I had the pleasure of being one of the first people in history to try, with no prior documentation either in literature or in the realm of online research chemical users. POxP was a suggestion born out of the very similar PThP, which was mentioned in a bluelight thread where a user claimed to have seen the compound PThP mentioned as being active as an NMDA antagonist in an article published in the European Journal of Medical Chemistry. No one was able to recover this article, though the suggestion it bore- of an arylcyclohexylamine with the sulfur bearing 4-Thiane ring as opposed to the cyclohexane ring, was interesting. In psychoactive molecules, R-bonded oxygen can often be exchanged for a sulfur and retain activity, so it stands that an 4-Oxane ring would show similar activity.

Like PThP, POxP would not be an arylcyclohexylamine. Where PThP is an Arylthianylamine, POxP would be an Aryloxanylamine. Traditionally, with the arylcyclohexylamines, fundamental changes to the 6-carbon cyclohexane ring see a steep drop in activity- using a 5-carbon cyclopentane or 7-carbon cycloheptane ring makes a compound which is wholly inactive. However, its seems that swapping some of those carbons out for oxygen or sulfur is also tolerated- though there is a stark drop in activity, they certainly are still active to an appreciable degree. It seems that maintaining the approximate shape of the six member ring is key to conserving dissociative properties.

I first began to titrate doses up from .5 mg. I would later discover this is quite far off the mark! Pushing doses higher and higher, I would eventually only experience threshold effects at a dose of 150 mg orally. It did not appear to be active intranasally up to at least 100 mg, though I have not tried doses higher than that. Because the dose is so high I eventually ran out of my tester sample, and would have to wait several months for a new sample to arrive. When it had finally arrived, I immediately shot for a fairly high dose- 350 mg. This yielded an fascinating experience that perhaps shows interesting promise for this compound- underlying a brief but heavy and still dissociative experience was a stimulating empathogenic undercurrent, reminiscent of a cathinone and replete with all the social delight and euphoric energy of that class of compound. I think compounds with the oxane ring replacing the cyclohexane are definitely worth investigating further, perhaps modulated by substitutions or structural changes that may increase their potency or duration. An N-ethyl POxE for example, may by interesting. As would a structure with a 3-methyl substitution, or one with a thiophene instead of a phenyl ring.

The following report details an experience with 350 mg taken orally.

T0:00-Dose taken

 

T0:30- Onset, feleing a bit soft and Dizzy, like I am a floppy stuffed animal.

 

T1:00- Dissociation and dizziness builds. The stuffed animal grows ever softer and ever floppier.

 

T1:05- It suddenly hits like a tsunami, washing over me and disorienting me. I am taken aback by the sudden steep increase in effects. It literally hid mid-sentence. I was watching my fiancé play Katamari Damacy on our PS2 and was remarking on something when I just trailed off, whatever I was saying completely lost in my newfound mental state. The predominant feature of this dissociation is dizziness and softness. No rush, no stimulation, not much sense of motion or weight, just soft and dizzy. It is pleasant and relaxing and gentle; it is that feeling of immersion into a still pool despite the sudden spike in intensity. I feel as though I may be levitating. I am a little bit nauseous, though it feels like it may be along the lines of a dizzy motion sickness than some reaction to the chemical itself. The couch has become a boat floating about on air currents.

The headspace is neutral, not much in the way of emotional or perceptual changes beyond what is immediately happening in my body. I don’t feel manic or sociable, just neutral, content to continue as I was doing, minding my own business and occasionally chatting with my fiancé. My mind is lucid and I am still able to process and articulate thoughts as I normally would. There are no issues with maintaining conversation.

 

T1:10- It builds exponentially, a rising weight heaving through me. I feel heavy, so much heavier, this has passed into the realm of the great dense syrupy sinking dissociation. There is a great deal of euphoria and comfort lurking about here, I feel extremely content to be right here, in this moment. I am chatty and bubbly, there is a social warmth among the heavy dizzy dissociation. Not a manic stimulated warmth, but something akin to the bubbles rising up to the surface of water that has just begun to boil. I am certainly reaching a rapid boil now.

It builds and builds and it becomes harder to think or speak, there is just so much of the experience to engage with. Not much in the way of visual or sensory effects, but any attempts at moving or walking make it deeply apparent how heavily dissociated I am.

Another curious effect begins to creep in at this point- I am swallowing more, my heart flutters, my fingertips are stimming and grabbing at things, and above all else, I am just awash with a fiery explosion of pure euphoria- The dizzying fog is cut through with a galleon of empathogenic effects, bright flares setting my neurons alight. I am suddenly very talkative and gushy, easily treading past the normal dissociative inhibitions to socializing. I just do not care, I want to talk, to love, to be friendly. I am jittery and jumpy, but oddly enough there still isn’t much of a sense of underlying stimulation. It is as though I am presenting the outward façade of an empathogen without the underlying systemic effects. Very curious. I am excited and short of breath. The edges of my vision flash in pale magenta and teal.

 

T1:20- Anything that gives me empathogenic effects will normally leave me tense, strung, and shaky, but not this. I am just melted on the couch, adrift in my dizzy dissociation, a pool of dense oil sloshing and dripping as the world turns. A rainbow sheen of energetic euphoria traces across the surface of this oil, not penetrating any deeper into it. I am alert but not stimulated. I definitely could not sleep right now. I am dissociated and content with it and all of its implications. My heart and brain feel flighty like a bird flitting through the warmth of sunbeams. There is visual static washing over everything I can see, multicolored visual snow, at times trying to form itself into vague amorphous patterns but ultimately failing and collapsing under their own instability and half-formedness. I close my eyes to try and immerse in that visual space, but I am greeted with little more than concentric ripples in dull colors. Not much to say, it is as if the drug wants me to open my eyes and engage with the waking world. I want to talk to people and be social but I cannot yet publicly talk about this compound so I keep it to myself. No matter what happens though, I am blissful and content.

 

T1:46- Effects have held the same pattern for a steady peak. Not many differences to note, I am playing video games on my laptop while my fiancé still plays other video games in the same room. It is a comfortable coexistence and this is particularly highlighted by a drug that emphasizes contentedness, peace and tranquility with ones current conditions. I am feeling great, I am numb at my extremities and it is like a gentle wind blows across me. The sense of dizziness and floppiness seems to well through me in waves. A vast deep-sea upwelling that tangles my proprioception with each pass. My limbs slowly settle back into place just as another wave hits and scrambles them again. The gentle lapping tides of a moonlit night. I am still a bit nauseous but nothing too concerning or annoying. This is not a dissociative for getting up and doing things. I am glued to the couch. Despite the energetic euphoria, nothing overcomes the floppy weight of this drug. Perhaps I could get up and dance if someone forced me but I am content to just lay here and think pleasant thoughts.

 

T2:06- The experience begins to recede a bit- a brief but exciting peak. I am mostly just feeling alert and distractable. There is clearly a physical dissociation and numbness still trailing through my limbs, but the headspace has remained lucid throughout. Beyond the generated euphoria and the dissociative afterglow, I am perfectly functional. I lie back and enjoy the ride. I am distractible and keenly interested in whatever grabs ahold of me, like being very stoned.

 

T2:20 – Trickling down more. The empathogenic effects have for the most part passed, there is no stimulated interest in anything. Just a lingering sense of dizziness and dissociation.

 

T3:00- Completely back to baseline.

 

Conclusion: POxP is a really exciting development in the world of dissociatives- that immutable cyclohexane ring in the arylcyclohexylamine is now quite mutable, though it doesn’t really yield potent compounds. It will just barely tolerate another atom in the ring, so long as it remains six members.  This is seen in POxP and PThP. PThP is fairly boring- doses high, short duration, not a particularly intense or interesting experience. POxP is something a little more special though- though it is even less potent and shorter acting than PThP, there is this fascinating empathogenic rush, a delightful serotonergic euphoria. There is still an edge of dissociative intensity lurking there too, though the dissociation itself is fairly nondescript. I only tried this one orally, so I am not sure if different effects would be found with other routes of administration, perhaps intranasal or vaporized.
I have no idea to what it owes these seeming serotonergic effects, or if that was even just some weird fluke for me. I have not heard of anybody else’s experience with this compound so I cannot have this corroborated. It is definitely something worth investigating further- though I do wonder if it is a compound that lends itself to compulsive redosing- the short duration coupled with the intense euphoria. Perhaps someday it will exist in the world in someday to learn more about it.

PThP

 Age: 26

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 250 mg oral in gel cap

Setting: My house

 

Preface: I was privileged to be one of the first people in human history to ingest the drug PThP, for which there is no prior documentation. The only relevant information I could gather was a thread on Bluelight, where a user claimed to have read an article in the European Journal of Medicinal Chemistry that stated that this compound demonstrated NMDA receptor affinity and antagonist action from PThP. Unfortunately they (and no other users) were actually able to locate this article.

Chemically speaking, PThP would be considered an Arylthianylamine, as opposed to an Arylcyclohexylamine. As the name states, it has the structure of an arylcylohexylamine, but with the cyclohexane ring replaced by a 4-thiane ring, a saturated (single bonds only) 6-member carbon ring where one of the carbons is replaced with a sulfur, in this case the carbon opposite of the amine/phenyl ring. PThP is the Arylthianylamine analogue of PCP. Per naming conventions, other amines would bear other suffixes, like PThE as an analogue of PCE.

Several studies have demonstrated that messing with the middle cyclohexane ring tends to stifle NMDA-antagonist activity in aryl-x-amines. Making it into a 5-member cyclopentane or a 7-member cycloheptane sees a steep drop in activity. The sulfur however, seems to conserve activity, perhaps by roughly maintaining the size of the middle ring so it still fits snugly in the channel of the NMDA receptor, blocking it and producing familiar dissociative effects. As is seen in a number of other psychoactive compounds, an oxygen can be exchanged for the sulfur and conserve activity, forming an oxane ring, referred to as an aryloxanylamine (This is a claim that is unpublished elsewhere that I discovered on my own- the resulting compound, POxP, which pends a future report, is active though less potent than PThP).

I first attempted to titrate up doses with POxP, which demonstrated a very low potency, with threshold effects only being observed well over 100 mg orally. I felt confident starting with a fairly high dose of PThP, finding threshold effects at 100 mg. The report that follows is for a single 250 mg dose taken orally in a gel cap. The overall duration of the experience was about 5 hours, I found it to be a fairly unremarkable and light dissociative, but I think it is still a fascinating compound, especially in its further implications in the activity of aryl-x-amines. I personally find it very exciting that there is a whole world of potential compounds contained in altering the supposedly untouchable middle cyclohexane ring! Perhaps other modifications to the molecule like substitutions on the phenyl ring could yield more interesting effects to explore or boost the potency. In my opinion it is something very well worth investigating into the future.

 

T0:00- Dose taken.

 

T0:40- I have been facetiming with a close friend who is dyeing her hair. We chat and as we interact I begin to notice the first notes, a sense of feeling a bit floaty and heavy. I am certain that this is not any sort of placebo effect.

 

T1:07- The call ends. I take stock of what sets in, a dissociation that could only be described as heavy and stretchy.

 

T1:12- The most distinct way the dissociation manifests now is a sense of constant motion, as though my brain were an intangible entity separate from my skull, its phantom-form taken up in the rushes of a running stream, dissolving into the currents and being dragged into the unknown distance. The waters are exactly the temperature of my body. It is like a sterile wind, neutral and always moving. I feel heavy. There is a swirly heavy drunkenness like my head has turned to a dense mass of viscous black lava, slowly seeping and drooping and pulling me to the earth at the mercy of gravity, its black skin cracking and separating to exude the glow of the energy that lies beneath. There is a tightness in my body as my skin begins to go numb like I am being bound by something invisible. My breathing is conscious and labored, the entire world feels heavy around me. The walls may sink further into the earth at any moment.

 

T1:20- My visual field stretches away from me, creating some strange imperceptible space between my mind and my senses. Everything has a sensation of being distant, despite no clear discernible change in my visual input. The sensory information resonates and distorts in this empty space, where it is free to flow and mingle and tangle and present itself to me at the drug’s behest. Light visuals begin to present, for the most part in a subtle strobing of my visual space. Faint colors flash in occasionally, timid golden hues and pale, understated reds. There are subtle quadrilateral patterns on the walls, though they are hard to discern.

There is not much stimulation, not much of a sense of rushing or being forcefully drawn into the experience. There is a steady motion, slow and deliberate, as purposeful and inevitable as a bathtub filling with water. I stand up and move, my limbs feel heavy and numb, but I am otherwise fairly functional, able to walk steadily, carry objects and interact with my environment. The experience bakes into me a bit but I for the most part feel lucid. My partner is upstairs giving a mutual friend a haircut, I am downstairs alone in the dark. I go up and am easily able to maintain brief conversation with them both. This is ultimately a fairly mild experience. There is however, a perpetual sense of sinking further and further into the Earth.

 

T1:30- I am a heavy piece of steel, cold and still and inhuman. My fingers are light and uncoordinated, typical of dissociatives. Their movements are more a function of muscle memory than anything within what my mind and body can coordinate. The numbness on my skin gives way to a sudden sensitivity. I want to lie and stretch out and rub myself on the soft surfaces around me like a cat squirming in a sunbeam. Everything feels so baseless and unstable, I am treading water or flitting about in the wind, totally unanchored. None of this particularly stands out from other dissociatives I have experienced, such as ketamine. It is a pretty standard suite of effects, for now mostly characterized by a dazed empty-headedness, a sensation of steady flowing and a sterile dryness to my skin and being, and most of all an odd contradiction of at once feeling very heavy and dense yet at the same time feeling light, flighty, floaty, and unbound.

 

T2:00- This has been a steady peak. I am disoriented and distractible. I smoke a bit of cannabis and this mostly just serves to stimulate my flow of thoughts. I am still alone downstairs, wondering how to occupy my time. I close my eyes and put in headphones and listen to some music to try and immerse myself fully in the effects. I am cast into a world of some vocaloid shoegaze artist (re;mo, album “Nanairo”), untethered from my body and sunken into a synesthetic landscape of subtle dimmed hues and feeble geometric forms. With a more intense experience, closing my eyes and listening to music through headphones is a surefire way to shed my physical form and project into a hallucinatory consciousness; my sense of body gains a phantom mobility, develops odd proportions and bends and twists and contorts in impossible ways, there is a sense of losing gravity, of flying or levitating, of a great soft pressure pushing in from all sides. With this I am still quite aware of m­­y body, of the surface it rests on and the memory of the space around me. I know exactly where I am, what my body is doing, I am mostly dizzy and dazed and drawn into the sensory experience like I am peeking under the surface of the ocean with a mask and snorkel, as opposed to diving all the way into its infinite depths.  My notes turn to gibberish at this point, probably from trying to type with my eyes closed, relying on a distorted muscle memory in my fingers. The waves wash over me. I am oily, swirling around my surroundings but not dissolving into them. With my eyes open those same quadrilateral visuals become tracery and latticework on the walls.

 

T2:30- already feels like a descent. I am lucid enough to read and browse the internet and take in information, this so far has not been intense enough to induce the dissociative double-vision that often renders me illiterate. I spend my time on 4chan of all places just out of sheer curiosity for what it has become in this day and age. I used to be a habitual browser of 4chan when I was a teenager, for better or worse (probably worse) it was a formative place that affected much of my development and socialization. It was where I first learned about research chemicals in fact. I aimlessly scroll through /b/ like I used to, it was once a place of familiarity and comfort, where I could talk about whatever with no consequence. It is the same as always really, just a lot of porn, people playing games with the post numbering system, people just dumping image collections and some discussions overflowing with toxicity and bad advice. It felt bigger, more important, and most of all, more entertaining back then. This does nothing for me anymore. I guess one can never go back. I decide to indulge in other nostalgia and play some flash games. These activities and interactions feel meditative but ultimately just like aimless stimulation, matching the experience- aimless, directionless, just empty interaction and the induction of an empty dissociative state.

T2:46- Going down, still a bit dizzy, still feels like I’m trailing off of the peak. There is not much to note or describe anymore beyond the steady descent to baseline in a relatively short span of time.

 

T3:18- The experience is mostly gone. I am still just hanging out by myself in the dark browsing the vast internet.

 

T4:30- Back to baseline.

 

Conclusion:

There’s no denying that PThP represents a really interesting development in the field of aryl-x-amines. The fact that the supposedly untouchable center ring can in fact be altered and still yield an active dissociative is really fascinating to me! What’s lacking is any magic or appeal in the actual experience- yes it is active, but it is not particularly interesting or engaging. It checks the bare minimum for being an active dissociative- it induces all of the familiar effects- Numbness, a loss of proprioception, a sensation of motion or sinking, a perceived sense of visual distance and derealization, dizziness and lightheadedness, a bit of stimulation, some light visuals. It lacks much depth beyond that however, it is a hollow and basic experience that really defies further description, not because it was so severe and baffling but because it felt so limited. There was little in the way of emotional depth, there was perhaps a bit of introspection and insight but it was buried in a hollow and dry and empty space, bathed in sterile light and dark. The experience was short, it was fairly light and nondescript, and most unfortunately of all, a very large quantity of the compound had to be consumed to induce this much of an experience. It was boring, but the implications are far more interesting- are there modifications to this base scaffold that would yield more interesting effects? Higher potency, longer duration, deeper insight? Perhaps there are, perhaps there aren’t, and only dedicated exploration (without promise of meaningful results!) will reveal that. For now I am happy to contribute this one data point to the pool of nonexistent information on this compound or any related compounds.

 

Bioassay data for two new arylcyclohexylamine-like dissociatives: POxP and PThP

EDIT: Courtesy of u/knittingdotcom, I have located the elusive paper that originally inspired these compounds:
https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1016/0223-5234(96)85170-1

Hamon J, Vignon J, Kamenka JM (1996) Effect of lowered lipophilicity on the affinity of PCP analogues for the PCP receptor and the dopamine transporter. European Journal of Med. Chem. 31 (489-495)

With this paper in mind, there are some interesting things to note- Firstly, as I've predicted, there's an appreciable increasein affinity in replacing the phenyl ring with a thiophene ring. This can be seen for both the oxane and thiane analogues of PCP (as well as in the PCP analogue TCP, which is well documented). Curiously, the affinity for POxP seems well outside the range of what would be considered active- if we were to just extrapolate the potency of POxP based on knowing the affinity of PThP, one would expect POxP to dose on the order of multiple grams. The fact that it is only a little less potent than PThP relatively is curious and I don't know any explanation for this.

I've had the privilege of researching two entirely novel dissociatives, POxP and PThP, technically analogues of PCP, though technically not truly arylcyclohexylaines.

The short version is- they are not too potent and have a short duration. PThP is not too interesting, but POxP had a unique empathogenic effect. I go into more detail later.

So makes their strutures special? The difference lies in that central cyclohexane ring, the middle part of the name Arylcyclohexylamine. Arylcyclohexylamines don't normally tolerate variation to that central ring, expanding to a cycloheptane and reducing to a cyclopentane both see a substantial drop in activity (Buyukbingol et al 2007, Wallach 2014). While a six member ring seems best, it would appear that the only one tolerated is not a cyclohexane- meet POxP and PThP!

Both of these compounds contain an either an oxane or a thiane ring; that is a single bonded six member ring with one of the carbons replaced with an oxygen or a sulfur respectively. POxP and PThP are anaogues of PCP, but the cyclohexane is replaced with an oxane or a thiane. Technically, they would be classified as Aryloxanylamines and Arylthianylamines respectively.

The only relevant information I could gather about these compounds was a thread on Bluelight, where a user claimed to have read an article in the European Journal of Medicinal Chemistry that stated that this compound demonstrated NMDA receptor affinity and antagonist action from PThP. Unfortunately they (and no other users) were actually able to locate this article.

I tested them via GC/MS, just to confirm that they were indeed these novel compounds: GC/MS for POxP Whereas you can see the single peak shows a molecular weight of ~245, corresponding to that of POxP GC/MS for PThP Whereas you can see the single peak shows a molecular weight of 261, corresponding to that of PThP.

I have a full experience report written for both of these compounds, which I will post soon! I steadily titrated my dose up for each one, though I had to eventually take some leaps as I only had a very limited amount to research.

My summary of each is:

POxP

POxP is a short acting and impotent dissociative that dosed at ~300+ mg orally. I am not sure about other routes of administration, other than it seemed to be equipotent intranasally. I did not try a much higher dose via that route than threshold effects. Whether it is active vaporized is unknown.

It has a short duration, ~3 hours. It is a heavy, floppy dissociative like ketamine, smooth and gentle and a bit sedating, and a bit mentally stimulating. The dissociative effect are ultimately nondescript and minor though. Most interesting however, is a slight empathogenic effect that feels like a flood of serotonin. It is like a combination of an 5/6-MAPB type empathogen (less stimulation than MDMA) combined with ketamine. It's a wonderful dreamy social state.

Dosage (Very rough)

ROA: Oral

Threshold: 160 mg

Light: 160-250 mg

Medium: 250 mg - 350 mg

Heavy: 350 mg+

Duration

ROA: Oral

Onset: 30 min-1 hr

Comeup: 20-40 min

Peak: 30 min-1 hr

Comedown: 1-2 hrs

Total: 2.5-4 hrs

PThP

PThP is less exciting. It is a dull and brief experience like POxP, but without that empathogenic effect. It is slightly visual, but not much to talk about. Similarly heavy dissociation. Something of note is that it is more potent and longer lasting than POxP.

Dosage (very rough)

ROA: Oral

Threshold: 100 mg

Light: 100-200 mg

Medium: 200-300 mg

Heavy: 300+ mg

Duration

ROA: Oral

Onset: 30 min-1 hr

Comeup: 20-40 min

Peak: 1 -2 hrs

Comedown: 2-3 hrs

Total: 4-6 hrs

These are two super interesting compounds just in term of structure-activity relations- I wonder what other ways the center ring can be modified and still yield active dissociatives- and to what does POxP owe its empathogenic effects? How can that molecule be modified to perhaps amplify those effects? And how could either compound be amplified to see a more workable potency? Perhap a thiophene ring in place of the phenyl? (TOxP and TThP respectively). So much to be discovered, and this is just the start! Sadly I do not think these compounds will be on the market any time in the near future, but I figured I could offer this up as data for structure-activity reactions and perhaps to inspire further research from those with the resources to do so!

References:

1. Buyokbingol E, Sisman A, Akyildiz M, FN Alparslan, Adejare A (2007) Adaptive neuro-fuzzy inference system (ANFIS): a new approach to predictive modeling in QSAR applications: a study of neuro-fuzzy modeling of PCP-based NMDA receptor antagonists. Bioorganic & Medicinal Chemistry 15(12): 4265-4282

2. Wallach J (2014) Structure Activity Relationship (SAR) Studies of Arylcycloalkylamines as N-Methyl-D-Aspartate Receptor Antagonists. Ph.D Dissertation, University of the Sciences in Philadelphia. 3690548