DMXE

 Age: 25

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 70 mg intranasal

Setting: My house

 

Preface:

For the impatient seeking one answer: Is this like MXE? In some ways yes, but it is hardly a perfect imitation. It is in fact something delightful and exciting entirely of its own and certainly worthwhile to explore further. If one liked MXE, they will probably enjoy this substance a lot, but they shouldn’t expect to feel exactly that long gone MXE feeling they are craving.

 

 DMXE is the marketing name for 3-Me-2’-Oxo-PCE, the D denoting “desoxy”, a fairly obscure nomenclature for an absence of the methoxy group (think deschloro in deschloroketamine). While I am slightly irked at the defiance of the arylcyclohexylamine naming conventions, I know the market drives these things and any semblance to MXE is a major promotional point. DMXE as it is known, is an interesting and exciting compound in its own right, comparisons notwithstanding. I worked my way up from a 20 mg dose initially, this proved to be a threshold dose, just barely discernible. I was able to go out grocery shopping, with little more than some stimulation, an elevated mood, a spring in my step, and some light visuals. At 50 mg, it had echoes of a party dissociative: A rushing euphoria, bubbly sociality, and a physical disinhibition that made each movement feel like dance steps in a divine circus. Past there is the dose that is written of in the following report.

 

T0:00- Dose taken intranasally, burns a little though mostly by virtue of the quantity of powder, otherwise it is very manageable. Slight bitter flavor but not overwhelming and the discomfort fades quickly. Overall, pretty benign.

 

T0:10- I am hanging out with my partner in the living room as they get ready for bed. I soon feel the onset, just a sense of lightheadedness and dizziness. There is a bit of a drip but it too is entirely manageable.

 

T0:15- Already feeling more dissociated than I expected. It's coming on fast, I feel goopy and sweaty and droopy, dizzy, motor skills inhibited, bright and gummy. There is a distinct stimulating rush, and I can feel my thoughts become more disoriented by the second.

Open eyed visuals begin presenting as patterns on mottled surfaces, dull flashes of radiating colors in repetitive gridded patterns. A sinking dissociation sets in from the crown of my head and flows down my body, encircling me like a glowing blue halo and pulsing down the length of me. My partner is still awake and we are still interacting, I go up and down the stairs to talk to them, but I find it becoming increasingly difficult.

 

T0:20- I am looking at and appreciating all of my pet bugs, from the iridescent Fiery Searcher beetle, to my two scorpions, to my large millipedes to my massive wolf spider and fishing spider. We sit together and fawn over them and appreciate them and poke around with them, it feels so good to do this, it feels like the sun is shining over me. There are creatures that I love and I’m with someone I love so much and there is this wonderful fiery euphoria slowly welling up through me as my head grows dizzier and my extremities feel number and harder to control and as brighter flashing visuals begin to seep into my periphery. Wow how it comes on with such boisterous energy!

I am still quite sociable but I find myself tripping over words or forgetting them or losing my train of thought more and more. I feel loose and sweaty, bright and flowy, delightfully disinhibited with my limbs flopping about in ways I don’t expect. On my computer screen are bright and gentle visuals that fill me with a delighted sensation, series of quadrilaterals in offset patterns, rippling and radiating with concentric pulses of color. Still dull though, and still just an afterthought for when my eyes settle in one spot.

 

T0:30- I would say I am functional, but still deeply altered. I feel like I’m in the riffle of a rushing stream, if the water was replaced by tightly wound braids of flowing rope. There is energy coursing around me but it is tight and not fluid, like how it must feel to fall through a dense mass of suspended cords. My head is light and dizzy and I still feel distant and cast out from the world around me, it’s that lovely warm familiar dissociatives lightheadedness that sends ripples and pulses down my entire body, that tingling numbness at the surface of my skin and furthest extremities.

I am at this point dancing around the living room, it feels so good to dance and to move, I wish this drug existed when I was still going to parties or living at a music venue house. I feel uninhibited in how I want to move, I am tumbling and rolling and prancing about rhythmically. There’s a childlike sense of wonder, I feel like I am just playing around completely unencumbered by the stresses of being an adult. I am still lucid and can hold a conversation. I want to flop around the walls and floor and hold my body in strange poses and contort myself and becoming this flowing being of rhythmic energy. This would be fun for playing around in the seclusion of a forest with my friends, where we could all be wildly dancing and climbing and rolling and falling and wrestling and laughing as the bouquets of bright visuals dazzle the skies overhead. Moving just feels so good, it gives me such pleasure. It is certainly manic, but not to the degree of the typical “manic dissociatives”.

The floppiness and looseness of my limbs before has given way to this sense that I know exactly where all of my muscles are at all times, that I can perfectly control them even to the point of compensating for their momentum. It feels almost superhuman, to be able to utilize my body in such a way. One could see it as almost enhanced proprioception, certainly an odd thing to consider for an NMDAr antagonist. It all makes me so happy, its all such a delightful and welcome rush. I bid my partner goodnight before settling down on the downstairs couch.

 

T0:40- I am now splayed out on the couch, catching my breath. I can feel my limbs melt into the cushions. My pounding heart sends pulses through me, each thump reorienting me with body’s presence. I look up to the ceiling and am greeted with a rippled pattern like waves breaking the shore, but the ripples are glittering, gossamer and holographic. This lovely little river glows on my ceiling for a bit. I begin to wonder if this is all there is to it- just a rush and some pretty sparkly visuals with just enough physical dissociation to wobble around.

But then the cracks begin to show- what was once little steaming fissure in the earth is beginning to crack open to reveal something glowing and fiery.

 

T0:50- The great cavalry charge of this drug has mustered its forces and descends on my mind- Coming up was a pleasant rush, but now comes a second wave of energy- though overall still relatively gentle and very pleasant. I feel like I am being soaked in a torrent- sounds around me begin to reverberate ever so slightly, their waves bubbling to the surface of an iridescent pond. There is a sudden sense of being sucked into myself, like my skin and flesh are being pulled into my bones and turning me inside out, and while this sounds alarming I found the sensation to be pleasant and exhilarating. I feel smaller and more compact than I really am.

With my eyes open, the visuals are dominated with a field of interlocking hexagons, flashing in bright turquoise and pink. It looks and feels like everything is melting, a glowing polychrome ice cream losing its form under a neon summer sun. Sudden flashes of patches of color sweep and dot their way across my field of vision like brushstrokes from a timorous artist.

Sitting in the dark it feels like no world exists beyond the glow of my computer, it feels like objects are floating and swirling around my head like I am telekinetic. Each keystroke so precise, each thing exactly where it needs to be. My notes are entirely coherent and typo-free, unlike the peak of many other dissociatives. There is a colorful fire through my nerves. The darkness is adorned with a neon brickwork of tessellated shapes, projected in a sphere around me. My own personal hallucinatory office. little indiscernible forms in translucent blue and pink dash and dance across my screen but begin to trace and duplicate and repeat in a radiant fashion when I pay them enough heed, blossoming into ever yet more intricate and beautiful forms. I am floating down a river on my back, eyes towards the dark tranquil sky with bands of shimmering stars, cascades of flower petals floating around me. The effects creep and hit me with a steady rhythm, the heartbeat of a moon in an unfamiliar realm. While all these images sound clear and vivid, they were ultimately ephemeral, translucent, faint imaginings.

 

T1:00- I step outside quickly to smoke a hit of cannabis. The sky glows above. This feels like pouring a bit of a pleasant sauce onto the experience, just enough to be discernible but ultimately dominated by the other flavors. I go back inside and decide to kick back in the dark and plug in my headphones and put on one of my favorite albums, An Abundance of Strawberries by Julia Brown. I lie back and nuzzle into the couch, the only lights in the room coming from various electronics. Like lonely stars in a vast deep blue space

All sorts of familiar sensations begin to overtake me as I close my eyes and sink into the burgeoning music- a tangle of great plush hands forming from their perfectly designated holes in the void, carefully and gently taking hold of me, warm, with a gentle pulse like a heartbeat, and immaculately soft. They expand and envelop me entirely, their borders ringed with neon, before forming back into the same spherical tessellated bubble I was immersed in with my eyes open- only now, more vivid, more detailed, intricate 3 dimensional stepped patterns adorn the surfaces and a soft glow emits from between the tiles. There is a sudden sense of rapid motion as the bubble gives way to just my naked disembodied consciousness as it soars through tunnels of overlapping shingled petals, steadily opening and blossoming outwards into an ornate floret, opening towards a dazzling light. I am soon zooming past tiles of flashing prismatic colors and grand hallways and cathedrals of striped and concentric lights. I feel like my body has turned to putty and is being bent and turned and compressed in ways it is not meant to be, but it is all  so soft and it this all feels so pleasant. I find myself twisting through tight tubes and tunnels that compress me to their shape, their pulsing iridescent lines like the cilia of a Ctenophore steadily pulling me forward.

As each song changes, so too does the color palette of this hallucinatory roller coaster, though they are all dominated by large flushes of blues and violets/pinks. The journey glistens with sparkling white forms, iridescent skies, colorful pulsing veins of neon, all cast in shining shadow with no discernible source, all in the dimness one would expect from a nightclub. There is a constant sense of blossoming, of things bursting open and yielding new spaces, new lights and new paths to travel.

Eventually though, it loses its novelty. I have not really been thinking too deeply, not been engaging with this comfortable self, it’s just been an exhilarating ride and not much more. But I have certainly loved the ride and cherished the euphoria of this experience. It’s almost eye candy of sorts, but perhaps I haven’t yet plumbed its full depths. Nonetheless, it feels uplifting, lovely and mentally stimulating, not a sort of fake chemical happiness but a more profound contentment. I do find myself getting bored, perhaps a bit impatient even and eventually decide to turn off the music and open my eyes again.

I am greeted by the same darkness as before, the same twinkling little lights, a deafening sense of quiet where the ambient sounds in the room begin to reverberate and trail off. There is such a weight to this silence and darkness as opposed to the cascades of vibrant colors I had been immersed in moments ago. It takes me a second to adjust. I feel dazed, I see dull prismatic forms pattern their way across the darkness and extrude from surfaces.

At one point my computer randomly glitches and shuts down entirely (A classic ‘Blue Screen of Death’, thank god I have been saving my notes document regularly)- there is a shock of dark and quiet, I am alone in the night again. I am lucid enough to look up what went wrong with my laptop exactly and amend the issue. The darkness and silence was tense and swallowing, it felt like a great violet predator stalking me in the darkness, its crystalline eyes watching my every move, its velveteen body tensed, but ultimately it was content to simply watch and I was ultimately at peace with the shadow’s presence.

 

T1:30- I am back in the world of the earth and its soil and the walls of the buildings around me. Where there are odd little ambient noises that don’t drive the experience forward quite like the music did. I am back to recording notes onto my laptop which is resting on my belly. It feels like I am typing right through it, like each keystroke is hitting my body directly, like the laptop’s shape is molded to fit the form of my abdomen. The white text on my screen takes on the quality of a topographical map, the various letters extruding or receding at various levels to create a mountainous relief that my eyes slowly drift over. I find myself remarkably lucid, with a remarkably competent amount of fine motor control, and can operate the device with ease, despite the visual distortions. It seems as though I can pull myself in and out of the deep chasms of this experience at will.

I start to chat with some friends on discord, talking about various psychonautics related projects we’re working on and other drug related things. Conversation flows freely and easily, and I find a great deal of comfort in talking to someone illuminated by just the glow of my computer screen. It once again feels like I am in a world confined only to the space it illuminates, that my thoughts and images are suspended in the air around me. I feel articulate, like I can easily fetch thoughts and efficiently turn them into coherent words. I feel so chatty, I want to talk to everyone, the euphoria wells through me. The world beyond my glow is just a deep sinking space, an endless universe of constellations, cascading through the darkness as fields of glitter, tracing around my personal luminous bubble.

 

T1:50- Feeling floaty and dazed, though my brain feels like a glowing beacon of acuity, cutting through it all. There is less stimulation than before and I am content to sit perfectly still. I can still close my eyes and be greeted by a field of bright moving visuals, though they are less distinct than before. There is much more sensation of the presence of my body at this point. My motor control feels almost back to baseline. Open eyed visuals still dance and play in the dark, though it feels like my luminous bubble is gently fading to the normal world where dark and light coexist as one. There is a pleasurable weight and momentum in my limbs at this point and a delightful lightheadedness.

 

T2:30- This comedown is steady and very psychedelic, very conducive to thinking and reading. At this point much of the effects have receded and I am basking in a warm colorful afterglow. Open eyed visuals still blink and dance and pulse their way across my screen and through the darkness. Closed eyed visuals have for the most part receded. I have gained back most of my body save for a bit of residual numbness in my extremities. Mentally, I feel distant but also intensely focused. I find myself falling into reading Wikipedia holes- an article about the online drug trade, a deep hole on the history of bitcoin, and eventually a long delve through the story of Paul Le Roux, a notorious hacker turned international criminal kingpin turned informant who had his hands in almost every black market imaginable and wielded immense power. It’s an interesting story to read and ponder, and the remains of the DMXE in my neurons makes the reading experience all the more engaging and immersive.

 

T3:30- I am sadly, almost entirely back to baseline. The cognitive effects still linger for a bit but they are hardly discernible by now. I smoke a bit more cannabis but it fails to bring much back into the experience, I am mostly just stoned. Oh how I wish this lasted longer.

 

T4:30- I am fully back to baseline by now. I go to bed without much issue.

 

Conclusion: Oh what a lovely substance! There is so much this drug has to offer and I am excited to see it explored further. I will start with the negatives though, and I can only think of two- the short duration and the high dosage. Perhaps another to note is that there wasn’t much depth or introspection to the experience at its peak, though sometimes I do just want to have fun, it doesn’t always need to be profound, and perhaps higher doses or different settings would prove different. This sets it apart from the predecessor it is named for, good ol’ MXE, but enough of that, DMXE is something special in its own right. It is colorful and visual, stimulating and psychedelic, pleasant to the body and disinhibiting without being entirely incapacitating, just a bit manic and quite bubbly and sociable. There is something of a hole though it is largely functional and lucid- pushing doses higher though may yield something even more powerful and spectacular. Low doses are euphoric and fiery and electric, this would make such an excellent party drug (in which case the short duration may in fact be a virtue). This would probably shine in combinations, perhaps something like 3-MeO-PCP or 3-MeO-PCE to drag the experience out a little longer. The visual space is characterized by blues and pinks and violets in tessellated patterns, and with eyes closed there is a distinct sense of motion and blossoming or radiating. I found myself able to pull myself out of the dark space easily though and retain much of my lucidity. The comeup is a euphoric rush, sociable and manic and distinctly warm and energetic. The peak adorned with fields of dark visuals with flashes of light, lucid but able to turn into something of a hole if a user lets themself sink into it. The comedown is gentle, warm, euphoric, mentally stimulating and psychedelic. Overall this is a drug that has so many pleasant qualities to its name, it is interesting, fun and ultimately a very worthwhile compound for any psychonaut, particularly a fan of other dissociatives.