2B-DCK

Age: 26

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 600 mg intranasal

Setting: My house

 

Preface:

So of course I was super excited when I first saw this compound on the market. This was the first brominated arylcyclohexylamine to hit the market, and its activity would help us answer some questions about the role of different halogens on the activity of ACH’s. We start at the top of the periodic table, with 2F-DCK bearing a fluorine, then Ketamine bearing a chlorine, and now 2B-DCK bearing a bromine. This clear progression down the halogen column will let us see a clear correlation between the choice of halogen and the activity of the resulting compound!

Seeing as 2F-DCK is slightly more potent than ketamine, my initial inference is that 2B-DCK would in turn be less potent than ketamine. This unfortunately proved to be the case- 2B-DCK is significantly less potent than ketamine with a shorter duration, all suggesting a lower affinity for the NMDA receptor. Perhaps that big bulky bromine just starts to get in the way of binding to the NMDA channel. It could then be inferred that this pattern holds true for other Arylcyclohexylamines, at both the 2- and 3- positions.

So the conclusion that can be drawn from this- there is a drop in activity as you substitute ACH’s with halogens, directly correlating with the bulk of that halogen, which naturally increases as you move down the periodic table. Thus the highest activity is in Fluorine compounds, followed by Chlorine, Bromine, then, presumably, Iodine. The only other reference point for this is with the PCP series, where we have 3F-PCP, 3-Cl-PCP, and one alleged report of 3-Br-PCP. 3F-PCP is significantly less potent than base PCP, and more potent than 3-Cl-PCP. 3-Br-PCP is purported to be inactive (though I dispute this claim and I think it warrants further investigation- sure 3-Br-PCP probably quite impotent and not very exciting but I would be very surprised if it were entirely inactive). Interestingly, in terms of developing compounds, chlorinated compounds seem to strike a perfect balance between dropping activity and interesting, unique effects. Ketamine is of course well renowned and well-loved worldwide and 3-Cl-PCP is one of the most fascinating dissociatives I have encountered- both are pretty impotent but the effects are interesting enough to warrant exploration. Advancing the next step down to the bromine however likely has diminishing returns.

What can I say about 2B-DCK specifically? Not much honesty. It is more painful to snort than 2F-DCK or Ketamine. Snorting 600 mg of it is just an awful experience. Rectal or intramuscular administration is probably best for this. It has a very rapid onset and a very short duration, with a peak lasting for only about half an hour and overall effects dissipating entirely in a little over 2 hours. The experience is fairly nondescript and empty, it is not particularly visual or exploratory or novel, it is an empty neutral dissociation with a bit of warmth and a hint of psychedelia on the tail end. This may be nice for people who prefer lower doses of ketamine, but as someone who always likes to shoot for the dissociative hole at high doses, this just doesn’t do it for me. I am doubtful I will revisit this compound much after this.

 

T0:00- Crystalline sample is crushed into a fine powder and cut into a big pile. I begin cutting off lines and snorting it while I am playing Chivalry: Medieval Warfare and watching The Simpsons, alternating large excruciating sweeps with smaller bumps. It is incredibly unpleasant to snort, it stings a good bit more than other ketamine analogues I’ve tried and tastes pretty dreadful. Overall, it took me about 20 minutes to take it all down. Maybe I’m a wimp, I would prefer not to do this anymore though.

 

T0:15- Still working down the pile. This is the onset of effects- a soft dizziness, numbness in my fingers, a sensation of my body becoming floppy and heavy and difficult to control. The game is making less and less sense to me and my fine motor coordination is becoming increasingly stunted, making play quite difficult. The Simpsons is becoming an annoying stimulus, hard to pay attention to, but thankfully the episode is ending.

 

T0:20- Finished snorting the pile. My nose doesn’t feel too good; I wash it with a saline rinse. I feel like I have rapidly dropped into a hole, that it slinked up and ambushed me before I could even discern what was happening. It tugs at me, I am moving so slowly, it is like a dream where I get in a fight but all my movements are gelatinous and inhibited as though I am under water. I close out of the game and climb up onto the couch and flop down, content not to move at all.

There is a rush in how sudden this is, but at the same time, it is something warm, smooth, and gentle, like I have dropped into a hot tub, sleek and streamlined, leaving no splash in my wake. I would generally characterize Ketamine and 2F-DCK as being “cold”, lacking an internal energy. This is a warm sensation though, burning quietly like a glowing ember, passing the soft warmth of the lapping of a tropical sea through my limbs and into my extremities, turning them into a body-temperature jelly. The light and energy is quiet, it is like I am sitting on a throne of low flames, their energy imparting haloes of a golden-orange glow around me, this is nothing electric or stimulating, just simply warm.

The world feels blurry, wavy and disconnected, a function of warbling heat waves more so than the actual air carrying the light to my eyes. There is a sudden sense of this world I’m in being fake and virtual, and there is a lax resignation in the drug to just not even care about that fact at all or give it any regard. I am content to just lie here and space out and exist in this fast and novel sensation of being numb and gooey, the sense of motion when I am sitting very still, like my essence is lazily spinning down a vast drain. It is hard to read or write, my notes are near-incomprehensible with typos and gibberish, the letters on my screen border on being empty meaningless symbols that my brain has disconnected with any literacy I have ever learned. Visuals begin to appear, they are cubic and quadrilateral, patterned squares, bordered by patterns, reminiscent of the Thwomp of the Mario franchise or the Portal’s Weighted Companion Cube, cast in a translucent violet and blue.

 

T0:29- I am so dissed, I feel like a circle, my teeth are numb and I sense that I am on the verge of just drooling on myself. It feels silly to be in such a state- and yet, I can be aware of how silly it feels. Despite the intense physical sensation, my mind feels fairly lucid, I can make perfect sense of how off-base I am. I decide to lie down and put in my headphones and listen to music in the dark: Oneohtrix Point Never’s ‘R Plus Seven’.

 

T0:37- I get bored after a little under ten minutes in that I can start to feel my body again and in that I already feel like I am coming down from the experience. It is hard to focus on the intensity of a dissociative experience when I can still feel my body. Perhaps I should have attempted this part of the experience 15 minutes ago.

What I can discern of the hole is a grimy noir, dark and rain soaked and lit by neon and streetlights, in constant and steady motion. Wet pavement reflecting the ambient buzz of colored lights cutting through the gloom, red and orange and pink. It is a hollow space that echoes with drips and drops like a great yawning cavern, it is graced by a warm wind and dizzying foggy sky. I traverse it in a steady line like I am riding a train or a streetcar. The world ambles by at a constant pace, never stopping or jerking or twisting or turning or changing directions, just stillness in motion, slow, smooth motion.

The closed eyed visual space is vague and none too intricate. Light dancing on basic geometric forms, the same squares and cubes that vaguely presented with my eyes open as well. There are no intricate patterns, nothing more complex than right angles and blocks of color, stacked and arranged in regular grids. It’s not particularly engaging or interesting. My mind is too lucid, I cannot lose myself in the whimsy and wonder of this experience, all I can think about is how I can still move my body freely if I want to, freely enter and control it, that same physical body connected to the same physical world where all my physical world obligations and worries lied, none of that wondrous liberatory dissociation I am always in such ravenous pursuit of. Maybe I would find that at a higher dose, but I have no interest in taking any more, in snorting that much more powder just for the off-chance of turning a dull experience into something revelatory. I wonder if there is anything revelatory to be found here at all. I feel bounded, trapped within the very real and visible limits of this drug, none of the bottomless potential energy that some dissociatives can present. I unplug my headphones and just sit in the dark in silence. There is some warbling and phasing of ambient noises, but it is slight and easy to ignore. All I can do is just sit here, space out, resign myself to blankness and emptiness as the closest I can get to some dissociative escapism. The faint visuals are cast on the walls, aimlessly and quietly drifting down like cascades of water.

Despite the lucidity and being aware of my body, I am still quite incapacitated and uncoordinated. Getting up, walking around, moving, are all exceptionally difficult. My limbs aren’t going where I want them too, my sense of proprioception is completely out of whack. There is some dissociative heft to this compound, even if it is only at high doses.

 

T0:43- I break into fits of sneezing, I find that I am rapidly regaining control of my motor functions. Perhaps the shock of sneezing so much has really thrust me back into my body. I am still appreciably fuzzy and floppy, but the experience is well beyond the peak now. I am a leaf, slowly drifting and flitting to the ground. There are new visuals on my ceiling, presenting with the same reserved clarity that the visuals were before, ripples and streamers, in fluid and graceful segmented motion like swimming Polychaetes. While the visual aspect has remained the same, the physical dissociation decreases substantially with each passing moment.

 

T1:04- Feeling more and more grounded, edging closer to sobriety. My motor control has mostly returned, the only physical sensation that remains is a lingering sense of lightheadedness and numbness in my extremities.

 

T1:17- Dizzy and mostly down, there is a little bit of stimulation remaining now that most of the dissociative remnants have blown away in the wind, presenting in a curiosity and a desire to go about reading things. Little bits and pieces of information I read on social media become sticking points for internet holes, reading Wikipedia pages and news articles.

 

T1:40- There is a nice afterglow here. All sense of dissociation is purely cognitive at this point. I would describe the headspace as bordering on psychedelic, more so than ketamine or 2F-DCK, it is that sense of free flow and association between thoughts, of increased desire to read and take in information, of moments sticking in my memory more. There is a bit of euphoria to this.

 

T2:30- Fully back to baseline.

 

Conclusion: This drug is in theory pretty interesting, but in practice it presented some fairly boring trials that I feel would’ve been better spent on some other dissociative. It is not particularly fascinating or exciting, but it definitely is a dissociative with a good bit of heft, for the time it lasts. Consuming it is a pain, I am content to never have to snort that amount of powder again. I wonder if my nasal cavities became saturated after a point, putting an upper limit on how much of this drug I can take. Perhaps I should use both nostrils. I may at the very least try it orally at some point in the future- 2F-DCK has good oral bioavailability. If there is a clear correlation in effects with heavier halogens though, I am doubtful 2B-DCK will have any oral bioavailability, considering how little ketamine has. Rectal administration is probably more worthwhile than intranasal too.

The experience itself is lackluster. The onset is rapid, the peak is under an hour, and the experience has dissipated entirely in less than 3 hours. It is a heavy empty dissociation similar to other ketamine analogues, with a nice rush on the comeup. There is a warmth to the quality of this one- interesting, though not especially remarkable. There is some visual character, though the visuals are faint. They are cubic and geometric and fairly simple, cast in dull warm tones accented with deep blues. The headspace is remarkably lucid, more than an equivalent dose of 2F-DCK or Ketamine would be. Motor skills were thoroughly incapacitated at the peak, though there was never a full sense of detachment from my body. Thought processes remained fairly normal throughout, though perhaps with a bit of underlying psychedelic stimulation. There is something there in terms of intensity- something had me satisfied enough that I didn’t even feel the need to touch cannabis during the experience. I’m glad I got to try this drug and it was interesting for its relation to similar compounds, though I don’t see much purpose in exploring it further. If I want something short and hefty I will have its siblings that bear lighter halogens

3C-P

Age: 26

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 40 mg oral in gel cap

Setting: The woods, my friend’s house

 

Preface:

I was debating whether or not this experience warranted a report, as it was overall pretty mild and I found myself struggling to describe the subtleties of it- if they were even remarkable enough to address. I managed to wrack my brain and churn out 5 pages about it anyways, since I don’t think I’ll get the chance to try this compound again. Even if I could try it again I don’t think I would take the time to do that.

While the name 3C-P might suggest some relation to the more popular 2C-P, the name is misleading. In reality, is the amphetamine analogue of Proscaline, which is in turn an analogue of mescaline, with the methoxy group on the 4 position extended into a propyl group. A similar compound I have tried is 3C-E, which is the amphetamine analogue of Escaline.
I am yet to try Proscaline, though I am sitting on a sample that I am saving for a day when I can afford to feel uneasy. The general relationship seen with amphetamine analogues of psychedelic phenethylamines is that they are significantly more potent and longer lasting. 3C-E was more potent and longer lasting than escaline, and should I try Proscaline, I am sure that the same correlation would hold true. I expected to be in for an experience that was long lasting, highly stimulating, less visual, and rough on the body, and this is exactly what I got.

Most accounts I read through my research suggested the comeup time was similar to that of most 2C-x compounds, average for any psychedelic. Typically, longer lasting compounds have a long comeup-despite my research, the latter was true for me, as I did not feel full effects until about 4 hours in.

Overall it was fun, stimulating, warm and articulate, though ultimately light and subtle. There was little in the way of visuals, it felt like a long-lasting stimulant with a psychedelic edge (similar to how I would describe 3C-E). There is a more thorough generalization of its effects in the conclusion.

 

T0:00- Dose taken at my house on an empty stomach.

 

T0:20- Onset, first notes as a bit of stimulation

 

T0:48- Not feeling much yet but there is definitely something there beyond placebo effect.

T1:13- There actually hasn’t been much progression in effects since the last timestamp. Perhaps what I felt was just placebo, or the fleeting tastes of a threshold dose. There’s a familiar twisting discomfort in my gut that usually signals that I have taken a psychedelic but beyond that, there is nothing I can be certain about.

 

T1:30- My good friend who I have tripped with many times before comes and picks me up for my mission of the day. It’s one of the last warm days of the year and we are taking advantage by going for a hike in the woods. I gear up in outdoor clothes, quietly try and sneak past a contractor working outside, and get into the car. The change of scenery seems to inject some life into the experience. I feel that awkward sort of frazzled where I want to avoid strangers, where my first words out loud seem confused and strained before I can really settle into socializing.

 

T2:12- The drug rises through me in heat waves as we drive, the slightest visuals baking into the background of my screen, indistinct forms moving and shifting and drifting ever so slightly, cast in a faint violet and red. There is a buzzing and a warmth in my head as the world rushes around us, it is a warm but overcast day, with rain forecast to come pounding down later.

We reach our destination, a woodsy park with steep trials and hills, a rocky creek, and crumbling stone ruins of centuries-old mills. There are a couple of other people here, trying to enjoy the weather before the looming clouds spring their deluge. We chat as we follow the winding trails, I smoke some cannabis as we go, saying hi to people we pass. It is beautiful to be in nature, it is wonderful to have the sky stretching out over me, the dry autumn leaves in the treetops rattling in the wind. I pass a cluster of woolly aphids hanging out on a tree branch and revel in their hypnotic synchronized defensive dance. We explore the ruins of a stone mill building, now little more than 3 walls with the remnants of windows and doorways. We climb and play among the structure a bit, wary of how unstable it is. Ripples work their way into the stones around me, luring this human artifact into the realm of being some psychedelic temple, a monument to the lurking sky, storm-grey stone bearing the full weight of the saturated clouds above. It feels like the air is breathing down on us. I smoke more as we sit on the rocks and the walls, poking through the leaf litter and moss and lichen around us. Moving, running, jumping, climbing all feel so good. I feel like a dog that’s been pent up in an apartment all day- now that I’m out I have so much energy to spend, I just want to run around and use it all up. This is a wonderful way to work through all the excess stimulation and tension that has been building up in me for the last few hours. It doesn’t feel like the experience has plateaued yet, rather it is still building and climbing. We eventually reach the creek and I instinctively start turning over rocks to look for macroinvertebrates.

We sit and linger here for about half an hour, talking about life and math and science, of evolution and ecology and biodiversity. I find I am very talkative, I feel like we veer off onto so many tangents that we cannot keep track, thoughts and words flow like electricity across a power grid, I feel articulate and like my recall and cognition have been enhanced. This is a nice substance for an intimate social setting. I could not imagine how tedious this experience would be were I cramped up alone and indoors all day.

I begin to grow more wary of strangers, perhaps as the smell of cannabis sticks to me more and more. Being around people makes me nervous, and I am content when the first notes of the rainstorm begin to hit, heralding our return to the car. The forest begins to shine and shimmer as water coats the dead leaves and branches. It is solidly showering by the time we get back to the car, I feel invigorated and energized but also I feel that I’ve spent enough energy that I would be content to relax and sit still now- which is perfect as that is exactly what we planned to do.

 

T3:40- We reach his house, the sky is shrouded in a premature twilight as rain comes down steadily. It is a great comfort to be inside somewhere soft and warm, well decorated and ultimately dry as the rain patters down on the windows. Yet again, it seems a change of setting has kicked the experience into another gear. Without even smoking more weed, I am feeling this drug stronger than ever, a new wave of nausea wells up, I am shaking more and feel more and more off-base. It finally feels like it is plateauing though, no longer building up. If I had to call a portion of the experience the peak, I would say it crested over about now. Above all though, this is not an experience I would describe as being particularly intense or groundbreaking. It is not much more than a drawn out stimulation, the usual jarring rush tempered a bit by a pleasant, euphoric, and articulate psychedelic edge, granting a certain profundity and joy to what would otherwise be something exhausting and tedious.

 

T4:30- We want to play Super Smash Bros. Melee like we always do when we hang out, but cannot find his GameCube. We turn the house upside down, delve into the murky basement and poke out into the warm rain to check his car. After our search fails, we settle for just playing Smash Ultimate for several hours. We smoke a bowl of weed, which instills little more than a greater sense of euphoria. There is no enhancement of visuals, no psychedelic dissociation or entrancement like cannabis can sometimes induce, just a little more depth. There is a sense of pulsing and rising in my body like I am being buoyed by a waving, flapping flame or the pulse of a steadily glowing and receding radiator. I feel like I am being tossed about on heat waves, bubbling up and drifting down.

We are laughing and joking the entire time. It feels so nice to talk and laugh ourselves to tears over the silliest dumbest little things. These are the timeless little interactions that we’ve maintained through almost two decades of friendship. I am in this world of comfort, familiarity, warmth and joy and love, I am in the trance of this euphoria, the rest of the world fades out around me, I don’t even feel compelled to check my phone as I always do.  

 

 

T7:02- I set out for home, my friend has to go to bed very early to get up for work at 4 AM. I have to take a train back home. It is misty and rainy out, I am alone at the station for half an hour. Everything is dark and silent, the only lights coming from the station. Vague forms in the distant mist, barely lit, trigger my imagination- looming figures, pale and still, staring directly at me, Sadako-esque beings stalk me from the shadows, shrouded in dark hair soaked in the dark rains. I’ve been binging Japanese horror movies lately and perhaps it is leaking into my consciousness.

I am cold and wet. I am pacing around looking over my shoulder. In the last 2 and a half hours of playing video games with my friends and now into half an hour of pacing around this train platform, I don’t feel like I’ve come down at all. It’s been one long steady peak. The fire in me is still burning plenty of fuel, the heat tickles my brain and stimulates my thoughts. Nausea wells and rolls in waves. My muscles are tense and I am still shaking a bunch. Perhaps it is the dark and the blurriness of my surroundings and my overactive imagination but it seems like there are more discernible visuals now than at any point before- still little more than indistinct drifting textures, gentle fractals and occasional patterns rising out of the chaos like vortices spiraling off a swirling fluid. The visuals breathe and heave with the steady motion of the hazy drizzle. I eventually get bored of pacing and warm up a little so I settle down and look at my phone and scroll aimlessly through social media.

At last, the train comes, at least one other person has finally joined me on the platform, and we thankfully pay each other no regard. The great behemoth first announces itself by ringing the cold, wet tracks at an incredible frequency. A great golden light cuts through the rain as it bears down on me, bathing me in its furious energy. I can feel its vibrations crashing through my bones, resonating with the vibrations buzzing through my nerves. Streams of cold water cascade from its roof, but I am invigorated with the energy of its warmth, thrown into a shock at the sudden transition into the dry interior, lit with sterile fluorescents, stifled in the silence of strangers trying to remain strangers, quietly whispering among each themselves and aggressively ignoring one another. I settle into a tucked away seat at the end of the car where I can easily be ignored and listen to music on my headphones for the duration of the eerily peaceful ride.

 

T8:30- Walked home through a peaceful rainy neighborhood at night. It’s chilly and quiet. There is a fiery push behind each step, eager to return home. Visuals have for the most part dissipated entirely by now. I come inside, feed my cat, feed myself, and flop down on the couch to watch TV and browse the internet. How I love my screens. I didn’t have much of an appetite until I smoked some cannabis. It only just now that it feels like the peak is trailing off.

 

 

T9:45- Stimulated and nauseous, what else is new. Sensory effects have passed. I am intensely focused on certain trains of thought, a sort of articulate hyperfocus and steady stream of smooth association that typically comes with psychedelics. My thoughts come out of my mind perfectly and work their way into conversations I am having online with friends. Like a long stimulant with an edge of cognitive enhancement. Most of the inherent euphoria has drained out by now too. Everything is on a steady downward trend but I am enjoying the experience for what it is. My thoughts are mostly occupied with analyzing J-Horror and Found Footage Horror films, which as I mentioned I have been binging quite a lot lately, it being the spooky season after all. Bless my friends who were willing to talk to me about it, I really had way too much to say. The state of being of churning out paragraphs to friends is likely familiar to anyone who has dabbled in stimulants.

 

T10:30- Things are petering off. The descent feels like it is passing faster than the peak did.

 

T12:00- The only sign of the drug left in my system is that I am definitely stimulated and wide awake and couldn’t sleep right now if I wanted to.

 

T13:00- I would say I am entirely back to baseline by now.

 

Conclusion: 40 mg of 3C-P was mild overall, but it yielded an enjoyable enough and fairly novel experience that made for a pleasant day out of the house with a dear friend. The overarching sensation of the experience was stimulation. Much like 3C-E, this was a stimulant with a psychedelic edge, rather than a psychedelic with a stimulant edge. The most noteworthy thing about the experience was the duration, a long comeup, a very long and drawn-out peak, and a shorter drop to baseline. The peak is jovial and fun. It was wonderful for socializing and getting outside and moving around. This would be a terrible drug to spend on a day cooped up inside alone like I usually prefer. That would be both incredibly uncomfortable and incredibly boring.

The psychedelic aspect of the experience mostly manifested cognitively, in how I processed and relayed thoughts. My brain felt like a well-oiled associative machine, able to synthesize pieces of information and produce ideas and reactions in one swift move. Feeling so articulate was a pleasant sensation, offering euphoria to the experience that was otherwise absent. Visuals were for the most part hardly discernible and even when noticeable were unremarkable- just some deepening and drifting textures. There was a pervasive low-intensity bodyload throughout the duration of the experience, mostly as nausea coming and going in steady waves across the hours, though it never veered past being a mere nuisance. I expected much worse and was pleasantly surprised in this regard. Perhaps this heralds well for when I eventually try Proscaline- Escaline exacted a toll on my digestive system, and 3C-E wasn’t particularly kind either. If 3C-P is more merciful, so too, perhaps, will be its close cousin Proscaline.

I don’t think I would revisit this compound. It made for good socializing and good conversation with a dear friend, but the duration was simply inconvenient and the other effects really were not remarkable enough to warrant trying a higher dose.

2021 In Review

A lot has happened in my life in 2021! The wind picks up, as it always does, and cold sunny day is a adorned in birds and squirrels breaking the winter silence with their everyday activities.  And suddenly the frost parted for playing among the marshes, catching snakes and turtles, observing and hassling wildlife, As the sun climbs higher, hotter, more radiant, I am alive, everything around me is alive, the muddy roads and buckets overflowing with more and more beetles. The sun shone the life lived, it was all as it should. The ceiling decays, and bit by bit the leaves twirl down to the ground. I can smell the warm geosmin after it rains, I can smell heavy yet graceful odor of the broken pine stem. I was adrift, failing at my endeavors, (again) with an increasingly vague sense of purpose or direction. I want to be free to lay on the earth indefinitely, grass growing on my back, my courtesans can give me my droug of choice for the day, already crushed and racked; ready to go through whichever route I want.

I'm doing pretty well right now, and every day I stop and wonder how stable that really is or if this is some cruel prank by the universe to set me up for some terrible tragedy. Never before in my life did I think I ever deserved to have good things, and I am still wondering if its all real. I got engaged. I have lived comfortably with well paying seasonal gigs. Improved my culinary ability a lot. I (re)learned how to drive. I adopted a stray kitten! I began volunteering in one of the world's premiere pharmacology labs dedicated to discovery of new hallucinogens. I developed and improved my relationships with many of my family and genuinely love spending time with them, something that would've been unimaginable to younger versions of me. I have consumed so many moving, beautiful, and fascinating pieces of art and media. I do drugs, I do a lot of drugs, and I love doing them a lot. I have had so many incredible and valuable experiences with them, as well as many that were extremely challenging, uncomfortable, useless, dull, wasteful, or even in a few cases, hazardous. I have had so many new experiences, taken new risks and faced new adversities, and grown so much and learned so much!

The world is of course, in a terrible condition right now. It is difficult not to form or expectorate an opinion about it. If you don't want to hear a rant about politics then I won't post it here. Uhhh if you do, then here: 

https://pastebin.com/Q9CG9qJV

To my friends who know me well it is just preaching to the choir, it is nothing new or productive. To those who don't know me, now you do.

Despite this, I am still managing to feel ok despite a backdrop of extreme pessimism and an absolute loss of faith in all institutions and humanity at large. Probably just because so much other stuff has been going ok. We're fucked. I should just enjoy the ride until my last day which may come sooner than I'd like. 

Enough politics!

I have used more drugs than ever before in my life. This is a trend that continues to rise like every dreadful graph we see in the news these days. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I am constantly skating on a razor's edge with benzos, and I have been dragging the flotsam of non-benzo GABAergics lately too. I can't use drugs every single day, simply due to work/life/family obligations etc. But I take just about every opportunity to do drugs that I can beyond those bounds. Sometimes it seems like I am just doing them because I am able to that day. I am beginning to forget what to do with myself when I am sober. This is obviously a concerning trajectory. Yet- I make my life work. I get done what I need to. I secure as much income as I need, I maintain good relationships with people. If nothing is wrong why change it? Are these the kind of excuses every addict makes? I am well aware of my situation, but I have absolutely no intention of changing my habits any time soon beyond what is required by my other life obligations. 

Oh well. Little has changed. I still love dissociatives and benzos more than anything. I use them multiple times a week. I use cannabis just about daily. I use a wide variety of stimulants mostly for functional purposes. I use nonbenzo-GABAergics when I have access to them. I dabble in opioids too when I can. This was a family I never touched before because of its well earned reputation. I can see where the appeal is, though as far as depressants go I much prefer the GABA based ones. I can still get things done when I'm barred out. When I'm nodded I am just a body sitting still. I'm too high strung to sit still, way too neurotic. I hope to explore the botanical side of things soon as I learn more and more about that aspect of hallucinogenic studies. Much of this is knowledge and practice is courtesy of  a wonderful friend I've made this year who I will not publicly name, but they know who they are :).  Psychedelics I use sparingly, and mostly only in the context of exploring new compounds. The bodyload feels near prohibitive for me at this point. I love psychedelics and the psychedelic experience, but perhaps this limiting factor is for the best, to ensure I do not overuse them like I used to. Living with someone in a space where I can't privately shut myself off and be in solitude also lowers my desire to explore psychedelics. Beyond a very tight circle, I am unquestionably solitary when it comes to psychedelics. 

I have no essays or articles to share this year. Kind of disappointed in myself for really not writing anything other than reports for the whole year. I've really slackened on all these so called passion projects. Some of what would normally be peripheral activity on this blog has morphed into practical applications so perhaps that plays a part. I seem to be losing a lot of my ability to motivate myself and not sink into sloth. I don't really make any kind of visual art anymore. I have really lost my touch in that department. The only creative outlet that I feel that I have developed are cooking and uhh minecraft lol. I mostly just sit around and look at screens and indulge in as many simple, comfortable, and immediate sensory pleasures as I can. I am the path of least resistance, I am a slob, a slacker, and a wastrel, I'm not proud of it but I'm not particularly ashamed either sorry. This shows no signs of improving and in fact seems to be on a downwards trend. Is this a result of drugs? Or is it just a weak brain, stressful circumstances, natural consequences of getting older, a lack of work ethic a lack of healthy effort/reward systems, etc. etc. I will tell myself whatever I need to to sleep at night. I am not on a good path but I will nonetheless stride confidently into the darkness. I cannot maintain a lifestyle like this forever, the human body and mind simply are not meant to. But I love every second of it and as it stands I likely won't stop until my hand is forced in some way. I'll make it work as best I can, until I don't. I don't want to force people in my life to be there to catch me when I fall. I don't want to fall in the first place- but this feels inevitable. Perhaps I am being pessimistic. Perhaps I will age out of this gradually and gracefully and quietly leave this world behind someday. Perhaps I will develop a healthier and more moderate relationship with drugs that will serve me sustainably for the rest of my life. Perhaps it is telling that it is so easy to imagine how this can go wrong, and so hard to imagine how it can turn out okay in the end. Only time will tell where that story will go.

As a wise man once said,

"The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles!"

While I'm still talking about myself, a few little new things I added to develop more of a sense of online identity-

An FAQ section! I get asked a lot of questions! I don't mind answering them and having a chat (though I am really bad at replying in a timely manner). But perhaps this will answer some of them.

A twitter account! shitposting mostly 

I wrote an rc themed creepypasta, to celebrate Halloween. I tricked a few people on reddit but it was all just for fun :p

 A calendar tracking my drug use day by day, shared to reddit. I made this for my own benefit so I could be cognizant of how often I was using certain types of drugs to help set limits for myself. I recently have made it public though. 

If you stuck by this far thanks, I've reached levels of self-absorption and pretentiousness I thought unachievable before. Here's the fun part.

This is a ranking of every drug I tried for the first time in 2021. At the bottom of the list are many that I did try, but I did not gain enough experience with to form an opinion yet. There has simply not been another year where I tried this many new compounds. Is this the peak or will it only go higher? Who knows. Cheers to another year off base from reality :) 

1. 3,4-MD-PCP - Definitely the most interesting drug I took this year. Its hard to really say something short about it or generalize it, because the experiences I had with it varied wildly depending on setting and dose. Precisely what I loved so much about it was that it was inconsistent and hard to define, always full of surprises and novelty. I thought this was going to hit the market soon but it has not yet. Eagerly awaiting when I can restock it and experiment more. 

2. 3-Me-PCPy - This stuff rules it's like dissociative cocaine. Pure recreational rush, stimulating manic dissociation, and a short duration that makes it wonderful for binging. Works as well as a stimulant as it does a dissociative. Great for social settings. Great for low commitment dissociative indulgence.

3. 3-Me-PCE - Short and sweet, another wonderful social drug- but it packs a surprising punch when aimed high enough. Introspective and interesting when it wants to be, shallow and simple when it doesn't. Stimulating and invigorating! I think this is a fun and useful one.

4. Pregabalin - I strongly dislike alcohol, mostly for its nasty side effects and unpleasant ingestion. The actual feeling of drunkenness is quite nice, were it not for the persistent headaches and nausea I get. Well Pregabalin gives me that almost exactly. Just the nice lightheaded disinhibition and warm sociability, without the spins and vomiting and splitting skull and terrible flavor. A+ in my book. Also can be somewhat visual which I really enjoy.

5. Zolpidem - A weird one for sure, but reliably very enjoyable. Consistently gives me the "magic" I used to feel more often from benzos, a sense of imagination and adventure that I had fallen so deeply in love with. Also a bit scary, I've never blacked out totally but I've definitely been messed up to the point of breaking things or accidentally hurting myself (usually tripping on/smacking myself on things) and not even noticing until the next day. So fun but so dangerous. Doses also seem to affect me wildly, 50 mg has had me at a near blackout and I've also remained fairly lucid and functional up to 130 mg. No idea what's up with that (and this was all from the same batch of genuine pharma from eastern Europe)

6. Temazepam - Probably one of my all time favorite benzos, joining the ranks of Etizolam, Pyrazolam, and Clonazepam. Super useful, in its short duration and that it usually won't leave residual amnesia the next day. Really nice and euphoric and great fun at high doses too. All around a nice time.

7. 1cP-AL-LAD - A delightful psychedelic, very likely just a prodrug for AL-LAD, but just qualitatively I thought it was a lot more visual. Stimulating and invigorating, but also soft, gentle, and ultimately, a lot of fun! And like I said before, it was intensely visual.

8. 1V-LSD - Also probably just a prodrug for LSD, but it felt a different character to me. Maybe that's just a placebo effect, but its up on the list because I love regular LSD so much. I only had one experience with it, it was deep, dreamy, vivid and heavy. Maybe it was just the setting. Who knows. I had a good and valuable time.

9. 2-FMA - Good stimulant for staying awake for a long time, like being at work or something. Can be euphoric at higher doses, sometimes this is nice, sometimes this gets in the way of doing things. I normally just take it to do things or stay focused for a while. Purely functional but if you find stimulants fun you would probably like this at higher doses too.

10. 3-CPM - Near indistinguishable from 3-FPM in every regard, dosage, potency, overall feeling. A gentle and neutral stimulation that is good for staying awake and motivated and aware. Perhaps a bit more euphoric than 3-FPM but otherwise I don't think I could tell the two apart. This is a good thing, I think 3-FPM is pretty cool.

11. Flubrotizolam - Just another fun benzo, reminded me of etizolam but was a bit more sedating. I love etizolam so this is high praise. I've found some fatal flaw or some issue in most benzos I've tried recently, but can't really say much bad on this one.

12. LSZ - An oddly shaped lysergamide. This was long, gentle and mild. It felt like just enough, it felt comfortable and like being in good hands. I had a wonderful time with this one, it's quite euphoric and insightful and easy to navigate. Not extremely visual and not super novel or exciting but objectively something nice and worthwhile.

13. DOF - I typically find myself bored with the less visual psychedelics that often feel more like stimulants with a bit of a psychedelic edge. This one though, mild in many regards, felt truly psychedelic in its cutting insight and analytical depth. It made engaging with media or with other people fascinating and memorable. It would be great in a social setting. But still, mostly just offers a mild experience.

14. 2-FA - Short somewhat euphoric but also useful stim. Good for staying awake if I'm feeling tired at some social occasion. Not much to say.

15. 3-FA - Like 2-FA but more euphoric and recreational and less functional. I don't enjoy the stim high much so it goes below 2-FA on my list. oops.

16. 4-HO-PiPT - Surprisingly vivid and intense, but also quite short lasting. Freaky and alien, just a bizarre wacked out experience for a bit. It's an interesting one in my opinion, I wish it were a little longer.

17. MiPT - At the time I thought this was a really mild and lackluster experience but I keep finding myself coming back to my memory of it, there was something unique that really embedded every moment of that experience deep in my memory, made the experience seem worthwhile. I would love to experiment more with this one, perhaps in the context of consuming some sort of media or reading about a specific topic. 

18. DOPr - When I said I 4-HO-PiPT wasn't long enough, I didn't meant this long! This is probably the longest lasting psychedelic I have ever taken. It's novel, interesting, and fun, but also a fucking marathon and a trial. I am glad that I experienced it in all of its glory, and I am content to not feel any need to revisit it. Definitely a treasure if you can find it. 

19. Triazolam - This is maybe lower because I only had a few opportunities to ingest it, it's fun, its a short benzo, there's not really much else I can say based on what I experienced. Maybe I'd like it more if I got more acquainted. 

20. Hydrocodone - It's an opioid, it's quite euphoric, it is extremely popular for a reason.

21. Dihydrocodeine - Another fun opioid, albeit softer and less intense than Hydrocodone or Oxycodone. Apparently not too common.

22. Rilmazafone - Very useful, but not particularly recreational. It’s a great sleep aid, especially when coming down from something stimmy, and it doesn’t give me as much next-day amnesia as other benzos do, which can be super helpful sometimes. Otherwise though there isn’t much euphoria or anxiolysis or amnesia during its active phase for me, just a bit of sedation. 

23. CBN - Cannalogue that is very nice for falling asleep or taking a nap. Not much to say other than that.

24. Δ10-THC - Another Cannalogue. Not sure I could distinguish this from Δ8, which I quite like. 

25. Flurazepam - Long and sleepy benzo, metabolizes into norflurazepam and feels just about the same. Not as sleepy as flubromazolam or clonazolam or flualprazolam, just a long soft time. 

26. 3C-P - Writing my report for this one currently, but it's a long lasting psychedelic stimulant more than anything else. Fun euphoric psychedelic headspace stretched across a long peak, but otherwise just sort of stimulating.

27. 3,4-DCMP - Super potent stimulant that lasts forever, what could go wrong? The linked report is what can go wrong lol. It's good for if I want to be stimmed for a long time, which isn't always appropriate. 

28. MALT - Short and mild like any base trypatmine would be, surprisingly visual and pleasant at times, but fairly nondescript too. 

29. HXE - Heavy and confusing and disorienting dissociative that is hell to snort. It's decent at low doses, at high doses it is an odd vacillation of cool and warm, but it is always deep dark and heavy. I can't really see any way of fitting it into my regular rotation. I feel like I've gotten all I want to out of it.

30. PiPT - Short little psychedelic that didn't leave too much of an impression on me, nothign too remarkable and nothing that feels worth revisiting. Wasn't bad in any way, just unremarkable. 

31. Baclofen - Quiet and subtle GABAergic, a step above gabapentin, a bit uncomfortable at high doses. Does not play well with other GABAergics, can cause vomiting :x

32. DOiP - Nice psychedelic headspace but a heavy bodyload that was way out of proportion with the other effects. Would probably be nice if it didn't feel so bad physically.

33. α-PiHP - Ok fine I have to take back my standard that all pyrovalerones suck. It does still smell like toxic cum. But it's pleasant enough, and most importantly didn't make me feel miserable after the peak wore off. It's a pretty low bar and I don't really love it, but it was better than I expected.

34. Flutazolam - Subtle but long lasting. Not intense or recreational enough for my tastes. Just a low-key amnesia not much else.

35. Mexazolam - Just amnesia and nothing else. Not really a fun or useful benzo unless I want to skip through time and feel nothing about it.

36. Flubromazolam - Too long lasting, too sleepy. I am groggy and blacked out for a day or two. Where's the fun in that. This would be useful if I wanted to kill a stim at its peak and sleep for a while I guess. Otherwise feels like a waste of time.

37. Buprenorphine - It was a decent long lasting opioid except for the time I overshot it and couldn't keep food down for like 2 days. (I can still get high on it because I have no tolerance at all lol)

38. Flunitrazolam - This shit cannot be good for me. Feels like I was tossed right into the depths of withdrawal the moment it wore off, I literally jolted awake in the middle of the night. Felt jittery and overstimulated the whole next day. All bad.

Need to revisit:

Dexoxadrol: You have no idea how excited I was to finally obtain a sample of this drug. Dioxolanes are super exciting. I've written about them extensively, both the existing ones and potential future ones. I believe there is so much unexplored potential in this class of super rare and obscure dissociative and I finally got the chance to try one. Why have I just been sitting on it for months having only done one little trial dose that was definitely too little? Idk just waiting for the right moment to aim higher I guess. One inhibitory issue is that the powder is extremely clingy and difficult to work with without losing a lot. I don't know how to solve this. I will do a big dose and write about it someday. 

βk-2C-B: Tried once, I was treading warily because of different reports of effects varying wildly across doses for different people. I got mild effects and would definitely aim higher. I would like to do it again around other people, which is hard these days. Haven't found the time.

3-MMC: Tried once, it was just okay. Also want to wait to try again when I'm around other people. I want to know what all the hype is, kinda hoping I don't fall in love with it because of how hard it is to get now.

Codeine: Tried once, as a single dose I scored, in pill form. It was a pretty low dose all things considered and a mild experience. Would love to revisit it in the form of lean lol.

FXE + AD2PV: I tried this mixture as it was sold, I felt the pyrovalerone too much and didn't enjoy it. I am working on figuring out a reliable way to separate and purify the 2 compounds. I will probably revisit FXE in earnest when I have it isolated.

MALT

 Age: 26

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 50 mg vaporized

Setting: My house

 

Preface: MALT is the base form of the Methyl-ALlyl Tryptamine family, unsubstituted for pleasure. The allyl group it bears has the distinction of containing a double bond. This is better known  in the di-allyl tryptamine family, DALT.

The other relatives of MALT that I have encountered were 5-MeO-MALT and 4-HO-MALT. While 5-MeO-MALT has been around for many years, 4-HO-MALT is a more recent development, and the base compound MALT has mostly been extremely rare and only become easily available very recently. 4-HO-MALT was a short acting and mild psychedelic that was curiously nearly devoid of any bodyload. 5-MeO-MALT was interesting, intense, and dissociating but ultimately felt pretty uncomfortable. I had little idea what to expect from the base MALT.

I only encountered this compound as a fumarate salt. While it is seemingly common knowledge that one should never vaporize fumarates due to the formation of irritating and potentially toxic maleic anhydride, I find this risk to be greatly exaggerated. A reasonable amount of almost any vaporized fumarate salt of a tryptamine would not produce a meaningful amount of maleic anhydride that would post any serious threat to health, or even any irritation. There is some loss in potency vs. the freebase due to the weight of the fumarate salt, but this is the only negative effect that holds water in my opinion. While the best amount of toxic maleic anhydride to be exposed to is none, I decided for myself that vaporizing this amount just this one time did not present significant risk.

There is a conclusion of the experience at the end. Overall it had a very short duration, was somewhat mild and boring, and was surprisingly visual, unlike many base tryptamines. My brain mostly did not know what to do with itself, though this substance did not lead itself to much activity beyond just lying around. This is a very short report for me because it was a very short experience, I do not have too much to say.

T0:00- Melted a puddle in an oil burner pipe and vaporized it, this one isn’t too bad to vaporize. Muted flavor, mild and smooth.

 

T0:15- I spent the last 15 minutes nursing and swirling and cooking the melted tryptamine, sucking off the little swirls of vapor. This seems to take a decently high temperature to really get going and I was able to pull a few large hits. Effects crept up as I vaporized it, bits of stimulation and discomfort. At last, when the puddle is finally dry, it crashes in. I hurtle towards a looming peak. It comes down on me like a diaphanous avalanche, a sudden sunken feeling. I am so suddenly sweaty, jittery, and shaky. There is a sensation of cooling and rising all over and across my body.

Faint visuals begin to display on the ceiling- drifting and dancing fractal forms like the sutures of certain ammonite shells, wriggling and determined lines that wave and drift across its surface, cast in deep violet. I close my eyes and I am greeted by cavernous spaces decorated with large, simple forms in dull colors placed in regular patterns. There is little motion beyond the drifting one might expect from a wide river, there is little light, just a hollow. Visuals do seem to arise more with my eyes open, they are glassy and ghostly but they are present- I gaze at my ceiling and see fronds and palmettos radiating and shooting off into drifting infinities, faint violet and pulsing with stripes of green. The fronds, the sutures, the fractals, the radials, they all lazily drift across the ceiling, bumping, swirling, intermixing; faint and hardly discernible but certainly there. It is like a parade of diatoms slowly drifting by, all of them flowing past and amongst each other, no direction, no intention. The forms swirl and billow in their drifts like vapor.

 

T0:20- The intensity peaks more and more, I begin to feel a little uncomfortable- perhaps I’ve overshot it? I feel cold, all I want to do is bundle up with blankets and cuddle up and wrap myself in soft things. I am lying here, splayed out on the bed, tossing in the tumults of the MALT-ocean, the biting crests and froths and sprays of its waves pepper my face, it all adds up to what should be an uncomfortable experience but ultimately, it really isn’t. I feel at ease, I feel comfortable, there is a pleasantry to this.

My mind is just completely blank. I don’t know what to think about, I feel like I should be thinking about something but I can’t really affix myself to anything. I don’t feel any urge to ponder memories, to consider my surroundings, to read about the wider world around me, I just sit there and exist. Not in any Zen sense, there is an anxiety to it, an impatience, it is like my brain is anxiously waiting for something that it knows deep down will never come. I am adrift in this transitional purgatory until the whole ordeal can be sorted out, my brain rendered to a loading screen replete with some nice imagery like the hold music on a telephone.

Maybe I don’t need to think, maybe I don’t need to engage. Many psychedelics give me compulsions, a compulsion to go outside, expend energy, better myself- this is just a blank slate. Perhaps I am not seeking anything in my life as it stands, and that has manifested in this space, a mind in an empty room with no purpose. I am at a loss for words. I am at a loss for thoughts. I feel like I am perhaps wasting my time here. If I stroll into MALT’s office with no questions, I will receive no answers. Though a part of me wonders what answers this compound would even have to offer- is it that my mind was simply absent, or that the compound lent itself to my absence? But I have no choice but to linger as the chemical flows through my synapses. I look at my screen and the words are rising and drifting off of it.

 

T0:30- The discomfort across my body has given way to a warmer and more soothing sensation. This is nice, I am rolling around on the bed, taking pleasure in the sensation of soft things against my body. The cat is here too and snuggling with him is another warmth and delight. This seems to be the comedown phase of the experience already. My flow of thoughts has changed too, from that blank absence now to a more familiar psychedelic state, in which my mind flows free and builds connections and associations naturally and organically with great articulation and logic, this is a curious thing to meditate on and ponder. That the peak was almost inhibiting, but once its grip had been released, the neurons can stretch and breathe and form something insightful and meaningful with one another.

 

T0:40- It is quietly filtering out, it is nothing but a gentle and nostalgic relaxation by this point, visuals are present but muted. Nausea has receded mostly. Stimulation lingers.

 

T0:50- There are still occasional visual flashes and flutters, this is nice, one visual that stands out is purple and green stripes on my blinds and pulsing vibrating stripes like guitar strings on the walls, but there is little else. Most of the physical sensations have faded by now.

 

T1:30- Back to baseline.

 

Conclusion: MALT joins the pantheon of base tryptamines as yet another mild and short-lasting experience. While it is more visual and introspective than many other base tryptamines, it still pales in comparison to any tryptamine’s 4-HO or 4-AcO analogue. I gained little insight into the overarching qualities of the MALT family. Beyond the visual flourish, there was little to be gained from this compound in such a short amount of time. All I could really do was sit or lie in a daze and think, save for the end when a pleasant state of psychedelia settled in, displacing an initial slight discomfort from the initial administration of this compound. This was a simple and novel curiosity and not one I will likely be revisiting except perhaps in combinations with other drugs.

PiPT

 Age: 26

Weight: 130 lbs

Dosage: 30 mg vaporized

Setting: My house

Preface: PiPT is an unsubstituted base tryptamine, composed of a propyl and an isopropyl group paired with each other on the ethylamine. This is seen in its name, which follows the basic tryptamine naming convention of combining the names of the carbon chains on that ethylamine (e.g. MET is methyl-ethyl tryptamine; PiPT is propyl-isopropyl tryptamine).

While there are a handful of scattered older reports PiPT and its analogues didn’t reach the general public until the last few years. Currently on the market are 4-HO-PiPT and 5-MeO-PiPT. I have only sampled 4-HO-PiPT, which was an interesting little chemical, short but visual, dazzling, and quite intense. It’s impossible to discern any common qualities of the base compound or any of its other analogues from only having tried just one member of the compound’s family. Thus I had no idea what to expect out of base PiPT at all, beyond the dose and duration.

The sample came to me in the form of a solid chunk of sticky tan wax. It was somewhat malleable but would crack and crumble with enough force. It was quite tacky and most of it stuck to the bag. My house is fairly cold so I wonder if it would be more workable if warmed up even to body temperature.

I should also mention that this was the fumarate salt, as this was the only form in which this compound was available. I was too lazy to make it into a freebase. The oft repeated axiom is that one should never vaporize a fumarate, as partial combustion of the free fumaric acid will produce the toxic maleic anhydride. I find this supposed risk to be entirely overblown and is just parroted by people without much thought. While maleic anhydride can be an irritant and is hazardous in large doses, the quantity that would be produced by vaporizing 30 mg of a fumarate salt is so small as to be almost entirely negligible in terms of health. Of course, the best amount of exposure to maleic anhydride is none at all, but I considered the issue and decided it was within an acceptable level of risk to me. I noted nothing that would indicate that I had consumed some extraneous toxin beyond the occasional harshness of the smoke, something that can come from combustion of nearly anything. The weight of the fumarate salt also results in a slight loss of potency relative to the freebase. Thus, a dose of the freebase may be slightly lower than the dose listed here.

There is a tl;dr conclusion of the effects at the end of the report. This report is short- it was a short and fairly mild experience though I see no value in pushing for a higher dose than this.

 

T0:00- I am kicked back on my couch, an oil burner style pipe in hand. The compound is in the form of a sticky wax. It quickly melts to a puddle, I tease the flame and get swirls of vapor, it goes down remarkably smoothly. There is that expected tryptamine flavor, some composite of burning plastic or scatole or burnt pumpkin. The first two hits aren’t too big but I am already feeling a stimulated buzz- though this could be placebo. I continue to nurse my puddle and tease the flame and wick vapor off bit by bit.

 

T0:08- I am still running down the little puddle that’s formed, chasing vapor from its fringes. I am beginning to see a lot of grainy multicolored visual snow and there is a tightly wound tension in my muscles, like they are bound in great green ropes, pulling ever tighter.

There is a bit of a cramp in my abdomen. The flavor sticks to my throat and my muscles are beginning to tremor and shake, a sure sign of my serotonin going off-kilter

 

T0:14- My heart is racing faster and I feel a bit sweaty. I continue to cook the pipe as my head is swimming and spinning around me, the world pulsing on my skull. I burn some of the compound, there’s a few rough hits, some coughing. All the gifts of pyrolysis hit my lungs. There is a welling, punching nausea, but not much else to say. I get a shiver.

 

T0:17- I have finally gotten the last of the chemical from the pipe, my technique could use some work. I put my paraphernalia aside and lie back and stretch out. Beads of tactile euphoria pulse down my neurons as I stretch, a pleasant, body-affirming and grounding feeling. Stretching and reclining in the full sun on the couch right now is heavenly, I am bathed in gold. There are no visuals to speak of beyond some visual snow, but the corners of my vision now buzz with increased energy, the snow vibrating faster and faster. Stretching and languishing feels good but there is a tick, an energetic compulsion to do something else. There is a restlessness strung between the cozy valleys of this compound.

 

T0:20- I step into the backyard, I smoke a few hits of cannabis, it is bitterly cold outside and the wind sweeps the leaves in vast swaying arcs. The sky pulses on me, as if the weight of the great grey above me cannot fully be processed. My eyes bounce around excitedly to take in my surroundings, take stock in the grounded beauty of these great heavy buildings stark against the grey sky, the littlest visual ripples and pulses feeding added depth to the image. In the visual aspect, there was no color to speak of, just a sense my eyes framing my surroundings as ideal and perfect compositions, each radiating their latent energy of aesthetic perfection as concentric heat waves, warbling my vision.

The cannabis softens the edges, it sands off the restlessness, soothes my abdomen, files down all the jagged points.

I am grinding my jaw a great deal so I chew some gum and then go back inside.

 

T0:28- I fall into reading my own writing, shiftless navel-gazing; It comes off as strange and foreign, like hearing a recording of my own voice. Do I really sound like this? Do I really present like this? What image of myself is projected in this writing? My thoughts flow freely like a swarm of eels slipping past each other in the ocean with frictionless resolve. Every new thought blossoms like a rapidly growing mushroom-I want to tend to it but- another flush has miraculously instantly sprouted elsewhere! Ideas bubble and burgeon, thoughts generate with excitement, but the flow is interrupted, it dams up, a crystalline stream adorned with the floating petals of thoughts reaches an obstacle, it is me. It is my languid, tired mind damming the stream, the bubbling thoughts clustering and accumulating as they falter against me, my strung-out brain only really able to lazily pluck one or two thoughts to examine and process. My brain is giving me a lot of things to work with, my brain is also not in the mood to work with anything. It feels tired. It feels like wasted energy. The flow of thoughts is an auroral torrent in the sky, but I am a tired mind that can only stare lazily at their beauty.

I decide to slow down, close my eyes, see what a less sensory space may bring me-

Few visuals form, those that do look like stains, scratches, scuffs and scrapes, there are forms but they are vague and indistinct, distant and foggy. There are no patterns, no rhyme, no reason, a seeming wastebin of discarded visual information. I open my eyes and I am back in the same room. It looks the same, not much to note. Open eyed visuals are probably indistinguishable from my background HPPD.

 

T0:38- This feels like the plateau of a peak. Nothing more builds, everything has presented itself in full. I go upstairs and hang out with our new kitten, he's small and wily and mischievous.  No issues with mobility or motor control. I feel like I am in a certain psychedelic headspace, analytical, verbose, a clearly articulated inner voice. The experience ultimately feels very neutral.

T0:47- The cat is cuddled up against me, he’s young and cuddly and extremely affectionate, this is so delightful. He sits on my chest and purrs. I’m flooded with feelings of love and adoration, I close my eyes and only see dim swirling lights, I am so sublimely comfortable.

I am fully coherent and cognizant, I can read and comprehend, I have just been reading news stories from around the world and reading about geopolitics. Covid is still spiking in my region, joyous. The new variant lurks over us all.

There’s very little good news but I don’t really care, this moment is blissful, overwhelmingly tranquil and positive. I am here, listening to music I love on a nice big soft bed, I am exploring the wonders of a novel psychedelic, I am flush with the swirling thoughts this compound has imparted to me; The sun is shining through the blinds, casting patterns that shimmer in the serotonin fog. There is an adorable little animal snuggled up against me. All feels right. I close my eyes and the visuals are now great sweeps of colors, pulsars flooding me with movements of blue and movements of red, great and luminescent and impossibly vast. Great indistinct forms like great colors drift above me like airships in the sky.

 

T1:00- The overall intensity of the experience has taken a definite step down. Nausea persists and rises again, I am cuddling with the cat, everything is gentle and hanging low like a soothing fog. My body still feels tense and pulled tight. The already light visuals have faded to be near indistinct.

 

T1:12- Feeling the experience as little more than mental stimulation and muscle tension.

 

T1:35- Another wave of nausea builds, another round of tension and discomfort. It is mostly on its way out now though

 

T2:30- Almost entirely back to baseline.

 

Conclusion: I find most base tryptamines to be short and mild and fairly difficult to adequately describe, often lacking in visuals or much depth, just mysterious little cousins to their more traditionally psychedelic analogues (There are of course exceptions, like DiPT or DPT). PiPT however, was no exception to this. It was a mild and manageable experience, almost devoid of visuals with an induced laziness. It left me in a languid haze punctuated with flashes of nervous energy and tension. While being fairly mild and dull, there were also moments of bliss, euphoria, and profound contentment. All of these qualities would come and go and ebb and flow across the 2-and-a-half-hour duration of the experience. Perhaps a surprising amount of variation for such a short amount of time, but even then, these changes were slight and subtle and strayed little from the base character of this compound: a quiet and tame neutrality. I don’t think there is much value in going beyond a dose this high, my racing heart and nausea told me that there were likely diminishing returns beyond this point, though perhaps I am wrong about that. I see no need to revisit this any time soon except perhaps in combination with other compounds.